PS, DAVID BOWIE WAS THE SAVIOR OF GERMANY

Heil David Bowie!

Yes, Ladies and Hansies, you weren't aware of it, but the GERMAN MINISTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS has taken the time from his busy schedule of Muslim immigrant cocksucking, to alert the world to an important fact:

David Bowie was an INTERNATIONAL PRINCE OF PEACE.

Nevermind Gandhi. Forget Mother Theresa. Don't even bother to name a Pope. Reagan's line, "Gorbachev, Tear Down This Wall" didn't lead to any ch-ch-ch-changes. The Berlin Wall fell because everyone in East Germany and West Germany was moved by POP GENIUS DAVID BOWIE!

I think the U.N. is going to create a new organization called F.F.S. just to acknowledge this.

I am NOT making this up:

OK, I added the HEIL DAVID BOWIE, but I was only being HEILPFUL. I'm sure Herr Steinmeier meant to say it, but just forgot, what with being overcome with the news of Bowie's death, and also the constant fucking up his ass by North African men shouting "Allah Akbar" and "Fuck the Kraut Up His Crack" and "This guy's Ass smells just like Angela Merkel's twat!"

The GERMAN MINISTER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS (and who better to bend over and have anal affairs with hummus-faced Syrians and black-black North Africans) has spoken! He's not just an expert on sperm-enemas from Muslims. He knows: David Bowie is no Ziggy Stardust. He is Jesus Christ, Adolph Hitler and Simon Cowell all rolled into one.

Angela Merkel, please make sure that every new immigrant gets punched in the eye so a pupil will be paralyzed JUST like the martyr David Bowie.

Herr numbnuts Frank-Walter Steinmeier, a true strudel-dick, with tiny M&M peanut balls, please give yummy speeches every week explaining that a pretentious progrock album was the "soundtrack" for the Cold War.

While Lennon sang "Imagine," and McCartney sang "Let it Be," we all know that these songs, in fact ALL songs up till Bowie created "Heroes," were just so much Himmler shit.

Spread the revisionist history that, in fact, The Berlin Wall collapsed because somebody nearby with a boombox was playing a loop of Bowie shrieking "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am!"

When Herr Frank-Walter Steinmeier and Angela Merkel go on Kickstarter (there's no money in Germany anymore, since they're using most of it to take care of incoming Muslims), I'll be sure to donate. They want to tear down Auschwitz and put up a gigantic museum for David Bowie, who was no mere poncing pop singer but a diverse artistic genius.

"With a pledge of $100 you get your foreskin autographed by Roger Waters."

"With a pledge of $200 Mel Gibson were personally send you an anti-semitic phone message: "My friend is out, and Jews are out cheating people and Jewing everyone down and taking all the money, leave a message when you hear the Heil."

"With a pledge of $500 Darren Cock will sing "Heroes" in a breathy, feminine voice in your ear, while fingering your hairless snatch. (Shauna Cuntwell only)."

"With a pledge of $1000 you will get a plaster-caster version of Bowie's long, pendulous cock OR a bronzed stalk of wilted celery."

"With a pledge of $10,000 we will send a laptop to some British twit who lost his, but promises if he gets one, will DJ nothing but Bowie songs in a local pub where he's often mistaken for a discarded chip butty."

"With a pledge of $100,000 you get an autographed iPad from Iman, and a pair of knickers from Angie Bowie containing some DNA other than hers."

Don't kick yourself later, KICKSTART NOW!!! HEIL BOWIE!!!! FRANK-WALTER STEINMEIER IS MASTURBATING TO "HEROES" RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!!!

THE SONG THAT BRILLIANTLY CHAMPIONS DEMOCRACY!

THE SONG THAT CHANGED GERMANY AND THE WORLD:

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing, will drive them away
We can beat them, just for one day
We can be heroes, just for one day
And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact
Yes we're lovers, and that is that
Though nothing, will keep us together
We could steal time, just for one day
We can be heroes, forever and ever.
What do you say?
HEROES by David Blowie