Amy Wagstaff Wetson Wesson Wetsit Wetnap Weirdo Wombat has, by popular demand (hers) come back to TWATSTARTER with her next "fund me, I'm entitled" project.
AMY:
"Wow, why was I wasting all that time reading "Pride and Prejudice" when there are tons of amateur authors on AMAZON who are selling Kindle downloads of their amateur PORN?
"As another fattie learned, E.L. James, it's damn easy to write any purple-prose tripe. Most readers don't know the difference. OK, I'm being too simple. Look at my face. That's simple.
"I'm not sure I can write porn. However, I can read it! So check my TWATSTARTER page, and DONATE DONATE DONATE, so that I can take that microphone out of my twat, and start reciting the porn of Candy Hart and other made-up names that Jeff "Bozo" Bezos secretly uses when he sit at the keyboard in his bra, falsies and panties.
"What could be better than me reading corny lesbian romance-porn? Shauna Cuntwell turning this shit into off-key songs?? I'm HOPING, but so far, despite spending so much time with obese assholes like Darren Lox and Bill Huelbastank, she's still straight.
"It's a wonderful world where you can waste so much time. You wonder how I do it, or Shauna, or Darren or Bill? Some of us are retired, and some are retarded. Some still live at home, and some live in a mental home that has free wi-fi and computer access. But not ALL of us have ALL the money we want, so it's YOUR responsibility to indulge our money-raising Internet campaigns!
"PS, don't forget to "LIKE" me. Each week here at the mental home, the one who gets the most "LIKES" on the Internet gets a free helping of Bird's Dessert. And ooh, it's sooooo soothing and lubricating when I dish it into my twat!
"Hmmm, that last line...maybe I really CAN write porn just like E.L. James!"
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