IF I'M BEING HONEST, as nasty as this blog is, and I've written some very mean things right after David Bowie's death, THIS site doesn't pretend to be mainstream. It's not part of a "family newspaper." This blog has more in common with Howard Stern than with the anchors who deliver the news on the BBC, ABC, NBC, CBS or CNN.
Nobody's coming here expecting anything but semi-humorous bile, and nobody's paying for it, either!
But to write a poison-pen put-down of The Eagles the day after one of its members dies? For a major newspaper that charges a buck a copy? That's low class.
You've never heard of this Gersh Kuntzman moron? I vaguely recall he used to have a column called "The Metro Gnome." I guess because he lives in New York City, and is probably three feet tall with a two inch dick. He wrote dopey "human interest" pieces because he was a nebbish who might get sick to his stomach covering a car crash. He puttered along writing such forgettable nonsense that he lost the column years ago. Now he's a freelance fresser. (That's Yiddish for a food-stuffing gluttonous loud-mouthed fool).
In an era where newspapers have cut back on their staff, this asshole is lucky to be in print at all. He's no David Hinckley (one of the few "reporters at large" left at the Daily Snooze, and the one usually called on to comment on the death of an entertainer).
The day after Glenn Frey dies, this creep launches into a Piers Morgan-styled bit of bean-brained provocation:
What exactly is the point of such irresponsible drivel? To "drive traffic" to the barren website of the Snooze?
Why does this Fascist fool insist that in order to be a "music lover" you have to be a music HATER, and you must HATE The Eagles? As opposed to The Carpenters? As opposed to Freddie & The Dreamers? There really isn't much about The Eagles worth hating. Their brand of California rock wasn't that far from The Byrds or the oh-so-grand Jackson Browne (who co-wrote with them).
How pompous and pathetic to point a finger and suggest, "If YOU don't agree with ME that the EAGLE were AWFUL then YOU have no taste in music!"
Does this guy have a death wish? OK, Gersh, hope you get the severest form of ulcerative colitis possible (and it's more prevalent among Jews than any other group), and some arthritis on top of that. Then when you get pneumonia, hopefully people will dig up all your past columns and say, "It would be no great loss if this schlemiel asshole dies."
Holy Moses. Know how I feel about the Eagles? ALMOST the way Kunt does. But not quite. I was never a big fan of these assholes, but NOW ain't the time to say so. Not if you're a mainstream writer for the fucking Daily News.
The Eagles, mediocre, workmanlike or slick and catchy, were never worth getting worked up about. Not in their prime, and certainly not now.
It's also utterly creepy to write a smirky hate piece on such an easy target when one of the targets just died. Isn't that nasty and insensitive to that person's relatives and loved ones and fans? This is The Daily News, which is high profile. It's where you're supposed to read NEWS not opinionated idiocy. The Snooze ran an obit and that was enough. It didn't need a jeering bit of snot from a KUNT.
What an asshole:
Gosh, David Bowie "did" the "Ziggy Stardust" album, while the Eagles were offering easy listening. Well, so? David Bowie wrote and performed a LOT of SOFT ROCK. Guess what, KUNT, so did a California group that was around before The Eagles: THE BEACH BOYS. You actually wanna call The Beach Boys a ROCK group? The Beatles were a ROCK group, and these California pussies were just easy listening, as smooth as The Eagles.
Where were you when Karen Carpenter died, Kunt? Shouting, "Good?" When Celine Dion's husband died, did you write, "Hey, maybe this will make her write edgy songs about death?"
FUCK YOU.
First off, no real writer uses the word "DID." You don't DO albums. You record them. David Bowie "recorded" "Ziggy Stardust." David Bowie "did" drugs.
Kunt's complaint that The Eagles were easy listening is true enough, but that's an entire genre of music. Why does everything have to be edgy, Kunt? You listen to Elvis Costello and the Sex Pistols all day, do you?
What's your take on CSN&Y? They were pretty lame and buttery. Even when they sang a "protest" song, it came off pussyesque. "We can chayyyyynge the world!" Did that group ever ROCK out? Was this ROCK and ROLL? Did those guys even sound masculine? What a pussy bunch! Graham Nash? A pussy willow voice. David Crosby? Feathery vocals. Stills? No different from Henley or anyone in The Eagles. Neil Young? Ugly vocals don't mean "ROCK" vocals. "A Man Needs a Maid" doesn't ROCK, pal. And you dare mention BOWIE? The great Ziggy? You think an Anthony Newley warble of "Ch-ch-ch-changes" was masculine? Why do I ask this of a KUNT-man?
MOSES, the Snooze and most newspapers no longer bother with book reviews, and many have dumped comic strips, advice columns and even crossword puzzles. They fire veteran writers and don't even let 'em have free blog space on their site. But this tenured tomato-brain suddenly emerges from his torpor with a feature piece on how bad a recently deceased man's band was??
Moses! When KUNT dies, and I hope it's soon, will it cue people to say that the Daily News is a shitty tabloid that was never as authoritative as the Times or as amusing as the Post?? Actually when KUNT dies his own paper probably won't bother with an obit, and his family (if he has any) will have to pay for a paragraph in the Times. That'll be it.
Christ, how "inventive" were Steely Fucking Dan? Kunt, they named themselves after a DILDO.
Steely Dan wrote and sang wimpy pseudo-jazz GARBAGE. If there's anything more grating than an Eagles album, it's a fucking STEELY DAN album.
Again, I don't own any Eagles albums except "Greatest Hits" and "Hotel California." I'm not a big fan of "Take it Easy" but I THREW OUT AJA YEARS AGO!
You want to laugh because Steely Dan took a dig at The Eagles? Randy Newman wrote a song about E.L.O. He chortled, "I love that E.L.O." And Nick Lowe snickered through an ode to the Bay City Rollers.
When I was editing a rock magazine, I wasn't a fucking elitist. While I had my favorite obscure artists who were also "critics darlings" among colleagues, all it meant is they might get an extra page. Or a favorable record review. I didn't slam Hall & Oates or KISS. People like that stuff, fine. "Maneater" wasn't terrible. KISS gave value for money with their circus-like live show. I reviewed E.L.O. (I drew the line at Bay City Rollers. I could've slammed them but why? That's kind of like bullying.). Not everybody has to like or should like every critics' darling. Give some credit to fucking Eagles or E.L.O. for pleasing the masses when Nick Lowe didn't. What's wrong with giving customers what they want?
Do people deserve derision if they have mild taste in music? Look in your cupboard. Got some Kraft Dinners in there? Got some American cheese in the fridge? Got a box of Cheerios in the cupboard? Then FUCK YOU, you wimp. You have pretty poor taste.
What kind of a sick Kunt uses a man's death as a reason to lay into a hugely popular band? What is the point? What does it change? Why SHOULD it change anyone's opinion?
I've written a lot of negative things about Bowie because his death has been treated like the Martin Luther King Jr assassination. The mourning has been ridiculous and his "influence" has been overstated. Glenn Frey? The body is barely cold, and this KUNT is jumping up and down with glee, like a little Jew at Nathan's Hot Dog stand. You vonce.
Try and explain how Joe Fucking Walsh is considered "cool." THAT guy was cool? He was in the fucking Eagles! If you hate The Eagles then hate everyone in it. KUNT likes Walsh's guitar on "Life in the Fast Lane?" [In my cut and paste haste, I missed one line, where this guy cheers about Walsh's contribution to that song]. Well, hey, that wasn't such a wimpy song, was it, then? It wasn't musical wallpaper. The reason wasn't just Walsh's idiot savant guitar playing. How about the lyrics. The music? Why the fuck pick on The Eagles for their harmonies and their "easy" approach to music, and not wonder what was so fucking great about The Grateful Dead? "Truckin'" was, what, PUNK?
That's how this jerk ends the article? By quoting a fucking movie? That gives HIM legitimacy? The Coen Brothers didn't like The Eagles so everybody should hate the Eagles and switch off the radio anytime "Desperado" comes on?? EVERYBODY should like "The Big Lebowski?"
Unbelievable. This is a guy who has been with the Daily News about 60 years now? This incredibly pruney old Jew idiot, Gersh Kuntzman? The impotent putz? He justifies his argument about how lame The Eagles are because....OOOOOOOOOOOOOH...the fucking COEN BROTHERS put them down in a cult movie that some very lame hipsters adore. OOOOOH! THE BIG LEBOWSKI, har har har!
HERE'S your big LEBOWSKI, Kunt. Shove it.
Shove it for NOT recognizing that this Frey guy had a solo career that included a pretty fucking cool song (for its day) called "The Heat is On." Why not tell us whether YOU thought his solo career improved his credibility??
SHOVE it for being so incredibly insensitive to assholes — er, Eagles fans — who had no idea one of their guys was terminally ill. If you did this on a blog like mine, that nobody but a few cultists reads, fine. But in a family newspaper? A paper of record? What a KUNT!
And lastly, SHOVE it for taking on such an easy target. You're smirking about "Take it Easy" and smacking a group for easy listening middle of the road rock? That's pretty easy.
You say The Eagles were not radical? What was so different about most of the competing bands of that time: Bob Seger Silver Bullet Band, Steve Miller Band, and those still-trying Beach Boys jerks?
If you actually listen to that fucking Bowie, you won't find anything all that edgy. Isn't "Space Oddity" so easy listening your grandma wouldn't say "turn off that noise?" Isn't "Suffragette City" very generic rock and not in the least like the Velvet Underground? Isn't "Rebel Rebel" no better than any other track on an Elton John record of that time?
Slamming The Eagles when they aren't touring, aren't issuing a boxed set, but mourning one of their members...that's PISS POOR.
GERSH? WHAT A KUNT!
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