Oh, "No Pants, No Brains" On the Subway Day in NYC

Zzzzzz.

Are we trying to get out of our post-New Year's Eve funk?

Desperate to do something "wild and crazy" before we have to act sad for Martin Luther King Jr. Day next Monday?

Is the world just so bored and so numbed by Kardashians that "No Pants Day" is supposed to be sexy?

Who the fuck knows why this miserably stupid "day" has been inflicted upon us.

The results are just so mundane, unappealing, obvious, self-congratulatory, and just plain ugly.

The NEW YORK POST desperately sent photographers out, and plowed through freelance contributions, to come up with THIS sample of eyesore garbage:

Are you impressed?

Does anyone seem turned on? Happy? Interested?

Whether it's smug faggots or tired, smelly women with drooling babies, or dull college girls or jerky males in boxers...NOBODY IS REALLY EXCITED.

It was a mediocre winter's day, between 30 and 40 degrees, and that meant that these idiots had to carry their pants or dresses as they wandered the subway, or wait till they were within the vague warmth of a subway car, before acting like morons.

What were they expecting? Cheers? Applause? Not in New York City. Not when they're all so plain and ordinary and BORING.

The worse news is that, as always, whatever idiotic Americans do (like HALLOWEEN, like wearing JEANS everywhere) the rest of the world has to do. So there were pictures of inbred awkward-looking dimwits in the "underground" in various Eurotrash countries, posing and trying to pretend to be hip like the Americans. How pathetic. No, none of those were worth showing here.

Did you say you wanted to see more choice photos from the Big Apple? No? You got more anyway.

Yes, just in case anybody got carried away, COPS were standing around watching the moronic activities at some of the more high-profile low-IQ stations, like Union Square.

Union Square, aka 14th Street, used to be the stop for people going to cool used bookstores (of which Strand is the only one left) and cool used record stores (like Dayton's which is long gone). You'd get off in Union Square and make your way to the East or West Village, as the bookstores and record stores made way for coffee houses, tattoo parlors, cheap ethnic food joints and junkies to your left and faggots to your right.

Now? It's faux-kewl. There's a Whole Foods there. A Trader Joe's. There's an overpriced comic book and "action figure" store called Forbidden Planet. And today, a few idiots in their dull underwear.

What is more dismal, the "kewl" people standing around pretending to be normal, or the "hipsters" making faces and waving their arms while friends and strangers took snapshots?

I think it would be sexier to walk into a Victoria's Secret store and look at underwear with NOBODY IN 'EM.

I think it would be more gratifying to walk onto a subway platform and be ALONE.