Barren: "He was a Great Guitarist, Too"

Barren Cock, still secluded in his closet, with his camcorder and a bunch of unopened Amazon packages full of David Bowie CDs, shares this picture.

"I worship David Bowie! Always did!

"I hope to begin a 365 part series in which I discuss Bowie, as only I can. I will of course listen to each album with headphones on, and discuss how I feel. I will read aloud every brilliant lyric. I will devote an hour to every costume change. And I will describe all the fantasies I've had while staring at semi-nude pictures of him!

"I put on my special garments, no underpants of course, pray to my posters of David Bowie, and then, oh, what I do!

"Also I will devote a week to how brilliant he was as a guitarist! Not too many people know that! It's true! Oh, Bowie is really keen! I read it in a magazine! B-B-B-Bowie is the best!"