JANN WENNER wants to Suck JOE JONAS' COCK

First off, Joe Jonas and the Jonas Brothers don't belong in Rolling Stone. They suck. But so does Jann Wenner. Jann has a fondness for boy bands and dopey-faced hunks like Joe. 

But secondly, "style and fashion" also don't belong in Rolling Stone. That shit belongs in Esquire, or Gentleman's Quarterly, or the other pretentious mags that are supposed to tell guys what COLOGNE to wear, and whether  it's ok to wear a dark blue tie with a light blue shirt. 

THIS is SHIT

What a fucking WASTE OF A PAGE. How faggy. How ridiculous. 

What a goddam embarrassment to the memory of the mag that ran "LENNON REMEMBERS." Now we're supposed to remember what brands of crap Joe Jonas likes, so we can be Just Like Him??????????

There is NO regular page in Rolling Stone for mini-reviews of new and indie artists. Think of what a boost it would be for a worthy (unlike Shauna) young artist to get a quotable line from Rolling Stone. Nah, spend the page on fucking Joe Jonas' toys instead. There was a rock mag some years ago that made SURE to devote space to obscure imports, debuts of promising artists, and cult acts normally ignored. That mag had NO page on fashion.  

WHO the fuck, besides JANN WENNER and JOE JONAS, wants to DRESS like a Jonas Brother? WHO wants to buy what a Jonas Brother buys? JANN WENNER may think he's a teenage girl but the rest of the Rolling Stone readers aren't buying it. They won't KEEP buying it. 

Usually asshole-asslover Wenner and his "My Style" page includes the actual prices and stores where you can buy the crap. The usual rock moron they'd interview for a piece like this, would steer you to the Ray-Bans, and the Bose speakers and maybe Gourmet Artisan Mail Order Popcorn or something. 

THIS Jonas asshole thinks YOU should wear a Godzilla t-shirt because HE does? That you should decorate your pad with boxing gloves? Or a Rick Ross ashtray? Oh, oh, LOUIS VUITTON SLIP-ON SHOES. My my, yes, that's a MUST! Whoops dear! And CUBAN cigars. Jeez, are we going back to the days when Hugh Hefner didn't need Viagra? WHO the FUCK is still smirking about CUBAN cigars? 

I'm surprised faggoty Joe Jonas didn't also weigh in on beer. After the CUBAN cigar preening, I was expecting: "I like a DARK beer," and maybe name some darlingly obscure company that charges $50 a bottle. 

Christ, it's supposed to be COOL to be in love with "Shaq?" Really? Still? Despite the fact this cross-eyed goon hasn't played basketball in years?? Oooh, and Joe has a "jackknife collection." That means we should ALL collect weapons? A jackknife isn't as pointy as the top of Jann Wenner's cocksucking head.