Chinese Pigs Are Eating Up All Your Chocolate

There's a British candy bar. I think it's called, "You Can't Have Any, You Have a Twat."

Or maybe it's "You Bints Should Stick to Lollipop Licking."

Or maybe it's just "I've got a Dorky So You Can't Eat a Yorkie."

Sad to say, soon it won't just be vagina-owners who can't get a chocolate bar in their yaps. ALL of Great Britain will be suffering.

Why? Because the Chinese are pigs, that's why. Not only do they eat half of the world's pork supply...now it turns out...they're eating half of the world's chocolate, too!

I predict this will lead to a race war. No no, not Chinese vs White People. The Chinese are too far away. Who'd want to go all the way to China to confront a bunch of midgets with breathing masks over their faces? Besides, you know the Chinese. We shoot 30 of them, and they insist, "No, it was only 10," and award a Gold medal to their own soldiers instead.

The war will pit the Chinese against the Africans. Chocolate, as you probably known, is grown by the Chocolate People. They live in Africa. They are very stupid people. Just as they work for nearly nothing hauling up diamonds from mines...and let Cartier get all the money, these morons toil away growing and harvesting cocoa beans...and make almost nothing, while Hershey and Cadbury make a fortune. Yes, the chocolate growers are working for peanuts!

What will happen is that the psycho Boko Haram tribe, and the rest of the ferociously vicious Muslim and brain-shrunk tribes, will start killing any Chinese they see. And since they don't see many, they'll just kill anyone working for Cadbury or Hershey. The Chinese, enraged to madness by their inability to get a chocolate fix (which they have such a yen for) will send tanks into crowded cities and start mowing down their own people. Hell, they have too many anyway, and this might mean a little more Cadbury Easter Eggs for all!

They will of course kill any black person they can find...be it a diplomat, or just some Chinaman who was out in the rice fields too long and got a burn that made him look a bit like Ray Ellington.

The bottom line is that the price of pork and chocolate is going up! Most of what's available is going to China, where those slanties are happily munching on Chocolate Covered Pork Chops. The inscrutable swine!