Hey Big Lips, THIS IS THE 21st CENTURY

You thought SURI was the cute dollop that useless paparazzi chase all over New York? Well, yes, that IS the name of the chunk of sperm-snot Tom Cruise blew into Katie Holmes' twat some years ago. But...

It's also the name for a backward tribe of idiots in Ethiopia. It isn't bad enough living in Ethiopia? You have to uglify your already simian face with PLATES?

How is it possible, in this age of "everybody has a cell phone" and WiFi coverage up everyone's ass, that there are still idiots out there who look like they posed for a 1958 issue of National Geographic?

Why are there still idiots like this walking around? This is 2014. I can understand a few Native Americans dressing up like chickens so that tourists will throw them some peanuts and corn feed. They live on a reservation. That's all they can do. And I sort of understand that Samoan and Maori lunatics may want to wear their tattoos and shit in order to walk out of a New Zealand bar without paying. But sticking a plate in your lip? "The Ubangi Stomp" was a long, long time ago and probably isn't played on radio anymore because it's too racist. But THIS SHIT STILL EXISTS.

Even worse, morons in civilized countries are getting every inch of themselves pierced and tattooed, and look just as stupid as these natives. At a time when "going native" is considered racist, because blacks are now intelligent just like us...HERE ARE NATIVES! HERE ARE NATIVES!

And let's not mention the increase in backward religious insanity from the ever-growing Muslims...who are now terrorizing half of Africa with their Boko "Blacker Shade of Shit" antics. DARWIN WAS WRONG, WRONG, WRONG....