Sacha Boring Cohen gives Trump AIDS

"Oh, that girl, she just LOVES to shock us."

That was David Letterman's sourly wry take any time Madonna was in the news.

It applies to, among other bitches, Sacha Baron Cohen.

Did he tack on a special end gag for dumb Americans? I can't imagine an anti-Trump gag would mean anything in Great Britain.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, the only way for movie comedians to get any attention is to be obnoxious. They have to create some gruesome gross-out scene that'll make people talk. They have to impersonate some asshole for 90 minutes (Zoolander, Ron Burgundy, Adam Sandler in any guise...).

In small doses, the annoyingly-named Sacha Baron Cohen has done this. Like a retarded groundhog, every few years he pops out of his hole as a different asshole. Oooh, he's Ali-G. Oooooh, he's Borat. Ooooh, he's some fag or other. Ooooh, he's some kind of British jerk with sideboards. Oooooh! Did you hear, he has a scene where people run up an elephant's twat? Or is this the one where he fucks an apple pie? Or is there a cameo where Lindsay Lohan acts scared?

Which movie, which comedian, which gross-out scene...

Zzzzz. Name the fucking film comedy. If it's the "SCREAM" series, it lives or dies by the guest cameos. "Zoolander 2" also was loaded up with celebrity gags. These chick-flick comedies always have to have a scene where women fart or have a menstrual mishap. "Is this the one with Cameron Diaz walking around with semen in her hair?" "Is this the one with a guy running around with pubic hair hanging out of his briefs?" "Is this where everyone gets in a prolonged car chase and bug their eyes out and scream a lot?"

Let's make a film called "The Pope Must Die." Let's have the reliable "Queen Elizabeth double who does something dirty." Now...how about have a Donald Trump look-alike get infected with HIV?

Just why Trump deserves AIDS (with or without ebola) I have no idea. He's not been conspicuously anti-gay. In his decades as a businessman and a TV personality, he hasn't demanded a stop to AIDS research or said he'd never donate to an AIDS charity. He's not a doctor so if Cohen was expecting Trump to cure AIDS, too bad.

Nah, Sacha Boring Cohen just looks around for something to fuck with. Trump happens to be hot at the moment. Go fuck with Trump. Cohen goes after whoever will bring in the most attention because...

..."he's a wild and crazy guy." Except, even with his outrageously ugly costumes and make-up, he's basically NOT very funny or original or worth watching. At best, he is to film comedies what Hustler is to nude paintings. He's a dumbed-down gross-out diversion and has to keep being offensive and ridiculous because he can't compete at any other level.

All the hype in the world isn't gonna save this piece of shit. Americans have no reason to care about a strange-looking British low-class oaf, any more than most Americans know who the fuck Tyson Fury is. "I'm gonna spend $15 fucking bucks to go to a movie because a Kike-Brit gave a Donald Trump look-alike HIV? Because there's some scene of people running up an elephant's twat? I've got better things to do with my $15. And how long do I have to wait before Kickass has the fucking torrent for free?"

Sacha Boring Cohen. If there's anything more lifeless than progessive rock, it's film comedy. It's all been done. Now it's dung.