Sneaky Raul cons The Big O

Fidel Castro's brother Raul (rhymes with gruel) is gurgling like Bill Hoobastank. He's got the President of the United States coming down to his little smelly armpit of a country to make nice.

Doesn't that picture tell the story? Sly little weasel and awkward big suckered dope.

Just where the fabulous Fidel is, nobody seems to know. He handed off power to his brother (talk about nepotism) several years ago. Fidel is very old. But still alive. Which is more than we can say for John F. Kennedy.

Some still insist it was Fidel's bunch who assassinated JFK, as retribution for the Cold War, and the CIA's attempts to dislodge this greedheaded hemorrhoid from power.

Oh well, let bygones be bygones. America is practically bilingual, so why not have millions more Spanish-speaking lunatics flooding into Florida and REFUSING to learn English? And gee, there aren't enough ridiculous tropical islands off the Florida coast...tourists need to go get tattoos and whores in Havana. Ah, and drug trafficking will be spiked very nicely.

No less a fool than Obama Lite, Jimmy Carter, once hummed sambas to Castro and tried to entice him to break with the Commies and become a friend to America instead. Castro tricked Carter into showing "amnesty" by emptying the Cuban jails and freeing thousands of thugs. Just what Florida needed, a fucking greasy crimewave.

It was a long, long time ago that Kruschev & Kastro (the Kanye and Kim of their day) fomented the Kuban Missile Krisis.

Now? Pooty-Poot (Dubya's cheerful term for him) ain't too interested in Cuba, and would rather play games in Syria than send missiles into this little banana-skin island. So, Raul has no real reason NOT to accept the wimpy handshake of Obama and demand good "trade" agreements.

What the fuck Cuba has that America needs, I have no idea. More ignorant violent cheap labor? America has gambling casinos, drugs and prostitution already. But how nice that refugee Cubans can now return home and visit relatives and breed and drag them to the U.S.

It's not enough that America is loaded up with Latino immigrants who refuse to speak English. Mas! Mas! Mas! Let's have MORE MORE MORE of these morons. As if there's a shortage of Mexicans and Puerto Ricans who are jobless, violent, and have bred huge families full of teen gang members. But that's Soooooooo racist-o. The country needs another 20,000 Taco Bell restaurants.

Really. If you turn on American TV you see fucking ads catering to Latinos, offering "breakfast burritos" for a dollar. Yum. Who wouldn't want rice and beans for breakfast? This fattening garbage puts big GORDITOS on every Jesus and Maria who waddles in. America is paying a fortune in taking care of obese Latinos lying around in hospitals mewling in nasal voices, "Mama! Mama! Popi! Popi!"

The argument is that poor people eat junk food because they can't afford good food. No. They eat junk food because it's sugary and they are a stupid. Many a black celeb (maybe even Big O himself) admits to still being addicted to "Scrapple," or greasy "soul food" like fried chicken smothered in gravy with a side order of fries and biscuits. Latino fast food is extremely unhealthy, and Redneck fast food is almost as bad. Mexicans are among the fattest people in the world. Cubans ain't exactly svelte. Why is it America doesn't go out of its way to import more Asians, who are bright and intelligent and skinny little things. They don't take up much room and try to learn the language lickety-split, savvy?

Obama sure can grin a toothy grin, can't he? He's a fucking Sammy Davis Jr. that way. Just walks around grinning, shaking his head, having himself a fine time. Of course he has to look appropriately grim during the news reports of the latest bombings and shootings and terrorist attacks. But soon enough he has some reason to celebrate a great achievement, like hosting a 107 year-old black woman's birthday party, or cheering relations with a backward fucking island that everyone knows is big on poverty and crime.

Oh. Cuba gave us Desi Arnaz, and his immortal bongo-song "BABALU." He went on to marry a white redhead from upstate New York, and he cheated on her constantly. Finally, Lucy got a divorce. For a comedienne, she was one of the grimmest, most unhappy women on the planet. Part of it was her Latin lover, who was selfish and self-entitled. Can anyone name another Cuban? Yeah, the gangster character Al Pacino played in "Scarface."