A certain photo is now in Shauna's possession, and it's VERY incriminating!
"Guyyyyssss," Shauna sighs, "I can't believe it. Bill took an upskirt photo of me! He made it into a slide and projected it on his movie screen to see if he could prove I shave my twat!"
The photo was definitely taken in the screening room at HOOBASTANK LIMITED. So far, when asked by phone for a comment, all Bill has done is gurgle.
Cuntwell believes she's on the verge of greatness, and can make it without Bill: "I've got an actual GooTube channel, I'm on FIVERR and other networking websites, and even have a song on iTunes! I have guyyyys who leave me nice comments, too!" Pausing to go to the bathroom and insert a tampon, she emerged and gasped, "I'm gutted!" It turned out she had bought a pack of Supers instead of Juniors.
"I believe there's just one direction for this Hoobastank fellow," leers Simon Cowell, "and that's DOWN. I have been talking with Shauna, but ultimately, the decision is hers. Let's give her time to sort out the situation. All I can say is that I'm not the type of manager who would take pictures up her skirt. I take a much more hands-on approach."
Most everyone is stunned. The only interviewee expressing indifference is Shauna's GooTube rival Amy Wagstaff-Wetone. Says Amy: "I'm so fat you couldn't look up my skirt with the Hubble Telescope. I could draw you some pictures..."
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