Take A Bus to a Train to a Bus IF it Arrives...mmmm,ass transit

Why do cities claim to have a "transit" system when the bus usually never comes at all, and the train just sits like a retarded baby, then crawls a while, then sits again?

Here I am, LATE to my highly important blogging duties, because of "TRANSIT."

A day's misery that should've taken about 3 hours, took SEVEN.

Probably St. Fuckwit's Day didn't help, as every moron in a green t-shirt descended into town to get drunk and say "What say you?" and "It's a Great Day for the Irish and a Horrible one for Sophisticated Intelligent People of any other race, even Mexicans," and "Erin go Bragh" and "Blaaaorrrr, I've Puked Again."

People seemed to be drunk by noon. How else do you explain ASSHOLES walking around in plastic hats? Who'd buy that shit SOBER? Plastic oversized green glasses? WHY? If you're wearing a bright green ugly t-shirt, and you've got a bright red beard, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, you oversized leprechaun moron.

(And the women looked just as bad).

Thank you again, Benny Hill. Or was it Frankie Howerd.

Well, to be fair, the hideous trip TO my miserable appointment with disease and malady wasn't too bad. Except for some Shauna-type twit-twat who had to sit in the MIDDLE of the bus and yap her inane drivel on her phone. I couldn't go to the back or the front and NOT hear her piercing high-pitched idiot voice. I had to put on ear plugs and use my iPod and listen to anything BUT this droning Shauna.

FIVE fucking hours later, appointment FINALLY finished, miserable news digested, digestion roiling, I checked the bus schedule. 5pm. Bus arrives 5:23. Lucky me. I wait. No bus. Oh, this happens quite a bit on the express. One bus an hour, and it does NOT show up on time. Or at all. This was "at all."

At this point the sky clouded dark gray, and the wind kicked up like it was going to take somebody's fucking house into the sky and land it on a witch in Oz. Then it began a light, misty, cold rain.

My only solace is that it was raining on THE IRISH, too. Have a water chaser, you potato-headed dumb-shits. Irish Americans are SUCH assholes. The good ones stayed in Ireland.

Finally I got a bus. Nearly $7 for such lousy service. Mmmm, ass transit.

The gorilla behind the wheel announced, through incredible static and distortion, "We are taking a detour." Through hell? Grimsby?

Following this: "Our last stop will be..." FIVE stops before MINE. Now what am I supposed to do? Walk a mile? Oh, of course, take a local bus from the express bus, then another bus...

Except, you guessed it, NO local bus arrived. There are four choices. You'd think 1 out of the 4 that pass along this busy avenue would arrive? Nah.

I started walking. And walking. And...well, it could've been worse. I could've been in a stinking underground with THIS shit going on...

Today it was raining outside, but sometimes, on the subway it rains INSIDE.

Leaky god-knows-what coming in. Rain from the roof? Piss? Heating oil or freon (depending on the season). Always be prepared and carry an umbrella.

That is, if you can GET ON THE FUCKING TRAIN AT ALL.

Why do they call it "RUSH" hour when, yeah, everybody is LOCKED smelling each other?

Let's say something NICE about the trains: when you get a seat, you can relax. IF you're a NIGGA.