Winner of the Ugliest Man and/or Woman Contest

The new Rolling Stone arrived, and as always, there's a page with a list of the hottest songs you MUST listen to. (But how? Not by calling up your radio station. By checking them on Spotify, guyyyyys? Or checking if there's an official video making money for GOOGLE via Gootube??)

#2 on the list is "Drone Bomb Me" by Anohni. No, never heard of that stupid eye-chart name. Oh, no wonder. It turns out to be a made-up name. The surprise was learning it was the new FEMALE name for Antony. Oh, so the asshole is now a twat hole.

Rolling Stone gushed that this morbid song is "darkly devastating..."

Sure. Like it's a trick for any indie jerk to write or sing a downer.

My only surprise was why, in this Gay/Lesbian/Transgender-loving world, where so much of the media is queer, the news of "Antony" becoming "Assholi" or whatever, hasn't gotten nearly the attention of Caitlynn Genital.

I looked once, looked twice. This is now a woman? Was it ever a man, really? I sort of remembered Antony as being a pathetic pudge. Now he's sort of what Adele would look like if she was part weasel. This is one desperate, feral, pointy-nosed blob of Bird's dessert.

So we've got somebody who was an ugly man, and is now an ugly woman? THIS is NOT HOT, no matter which side of the sexual equator you're on.

Really, when you're homely, does it even matter what sex you are? You ain't gettin' laid. Am I right, Knickerless Payne, ye of the girlish hair and the male-hog face?

I checked Ickypedia, and it just gave me the basics I already knew. I remembered, years ago, hearing that Antony and the Johnsons (oh, I got that slang, Antony and the PENISES) was the latest thing in art rock. Like Bumford and Buns was the latest thing in folk rock. Ickypedia told me how this guy won praise, and the albums did well on indie labels, blah blah.

What it didn't say was whether this "transgender" artist is a pretender, or actually is walking around with his balls yanked out and a little bit of his dick bent and twisted into a twat. Or is this a Caitlynn deal, of somebody who is just a "she-male" trick-or-treater dick-and-twatter?

I still don't know, but at this point, don't care. I just think with guyyysss pretending to be girls, either go all the way of shut the fuck up. I have much more sympathy for a Chas Bono, or Bullens. I mean, trying to turn your pussy into a penis is almost ludicrous. It will look fake and it really won't work. Carving a cunt is easier; it's just a hole. It doesn't have to DO anything, and if you want to lessen any orgasm by quaffing quim hormones, that's your problem.

Have you seen post-op female trannies? If you don't look TOO closely, they can pass fairly well. Sort of like xeroxed money. Male to female is cunterfeit, but not as ridiculous as seeing a female trying to pretend what they've got isn't some rubber giblets with gruesomely stitched tubing in the middle.

Anohni (what an ANNOYING name), aka "The Artist Formerly Proud of being a Faggot with a Dick") says you can use either "he" or "she" but SHE would prefer "she." OK.

I doubt his new song will really go anywhere, even with Rolling Stone's fags (Jann Wenner maybe, his own self) pushing it. What a pretentious shoe-gazing shit title it is: "Drone Bomb Me." Look, guyyyy, just walk in front of a bus. Or a train. Life is too much? You really want people to listen to a dreary Diamanda Galas wannabe? Christ, it is so easy to be a downer. It takes no skill at all to write gloom tunes. How many people write funny novelty songs? Almost nobody.

What really disturbed me in my Ickypedia curiosity over this defective cumquat, is that Antony listed his influences as Kate Bush, Alison Moyet and Boy George. Now, of those three cunts, I do like Kate and Alison. And this got me thinking, are my tastes faggy? Is Alison Moyet a fag fave? Are Kate Bush's big round boobies just a joke?

Of course I have nothing against any of the erotic minorities, as long as they shut the fuck up and tone it down a bit. Same goes with all ethnics. When I'm stuck on line I don't want to hear ANY fag talking in italics or any Jamaican or Italian or Hebrew gesticulating stupidly and talking like a fucking moron. BUT...I don't like liking people that only a particular group of idiots like. Especially fags.

At the moment, my appreciation for Alison's overwrought balladry ("When I was Your Girl") her decent covers ("Almost Blue") and wacko overbaked retro folk ("Wraggle Taggle Gypsies") has waned. As for Kate, well, I haven't listened to her whimsical high-pitched baby-prog stuff in years. How many times do you need to hear "Rolling the Ball," and how many times CAN you hear "Cat in Your Lap" or "Pussy Twat" or whatever it was.

Hmmm. So Mr/Ms Transgender likes Kate and Allison. You really know how to ruin shit, Guyyyyyyyy.