It's a Viley Virus Bieber-Ass EASTER

Jesus moves in mysterious ways.

Who wouldn't want to come back from church, check the front page of the Internet freee version of the daily news, and see THIS?

Yes, along with more coverage of the Americans killed in Brussels (all four of them, everyone else doesn't matter), and aside from the dreary latest winners in the widely spaced primary elections (yesterday Alaska and Hawaii voted...who the FUCK cares), it's VILEY and BIEBER.

The only miracle is that there was a censor bar on Justa Beeper's ass. You mean we'd have to go to Perez Hilton's faggot site or Beebsy's own Instagram account to see his pert tush? Aww. ONE extra step, JUST to keep guys from having queer thoughts. Note that Viley or Kuntrashian's ass wouldn't be censored.

For the record, the Canadian Cunt posted it with some Hallmark-like two-liner about how he's communing with nature and searching for tranquility. We are ALL searching for tranquility, and Bieber being six feet under would be a good start.

For comic relief, we have Viley Virus complaining about sexism. Need I even bother ranting about THAT?

Oh, right, Viley, riding a dildo on stage, hanging your tongue out while you cup your cupcake tits...that's "empowering" and it's "feminism." Trump running a beauty contest and marrying trophy sluts from behind the Iron Curtain of pronouncing English properly...that's a BAD thing. Male sexuality is always coarse and female sexuality is always classy. Har har.

The situation, for out of towners, is that The Donald dared bite back on pudgy-vampire-faced nasal-voiced psycho-bastard Ted Spic Cruz. The Spic had one of his support groups run a nasty MEME or AD or whatever, showing Trump's wife in a seductive pose from her modeling days.

Just what the fuck this was supposed to prove, except that The Donald picked out a hottie, I have no idea. Reminding people that his wife was once a model pissed off The Donald, who retaliated by showing side-by-side photos of the two wives.

Let's say that Cruz's frumpy bitch would've looked bad even next to Bill Hoobastank's wife.

The Donald, just about the ONLY man in politics who takes NO shit, then said that if Cruz and his people didn't lay off, he'd "spill the beans" on Cruz's wife.

Somehow all this offended classy Viley Virus.

Coincidentally, the notorious National Inquirer spilled the beans on Cruz himself, in their latest issue, now in supermarkets. The tabloid used to be known for inventing celebrity gossip, but they've made themselves a force to be half-believed. They've done it by a) accurately pointing out which celebrities are dying, and b) actually spending money to research any political scandal tip that comes their way. They destroyed the campaign of Senator Edwards years ago by breaking all the news of his affairs.

Now? Now they claim ugly whiny-voiced bully-bastard Cruz is a horny weasel who has had at least FIVE affairs. It's always nice when those conservative Republicans are proven to be hypocrites. Whether Cruz will step down or try to ignore this bombshell remains to be seen. Several "legit" journalists have come forward to back up some of the allegations, and some of the women OR friends of theirs have confirmed that Cruz IS a slimeball not above cheating or even paying for sex.

And Viley Virus complains that Trump is picking on poor, poor Teddy-Boy Cruz.

FUCK OFF, Viley...have you noticed Ariana and Gaga and Taylor are all doing better than you? You got boring a lot faster than Madonna, bitch.