North Aware wiseguys - There' a Sucker Coated every Minute

No, no Shauna, THIS is how it's done.

You pay Facebook to flood the site with ads disguised as friendly postings about a great new product.

Wow, lookie everyone, some guy in Toronto is "breaking the Internet" with this new coat he designed. Everybody go buy one!

And so the assholes of the world (Americans with too much money) flock to Kickstarter to get in on this GREAT DEAL.

They don't bother to look and see that the Facebook tip CAME FROM THE DEALER HIMSELF.

Americans LOVE this shit.

"Groupon" turned up to breathlessly offer, every fucking day, "deals" on close-out garbage. Overstock has become a popular website for this shit. Internet hype jobs are just a variation on the game being played on cable TV, where the "Home Shopping Network" and their imitators spend all day telling retarded rednecks and their housewives to buy knives, pots, pans, hats, jewelry...all because it's "a BARGAIN" and "it's going fast" and "EVERYBODY is buying" and "EVERYBODY needs it!"

Rah rah rah.

Winter is over. It was one of the warmest fucking winters in American history.

There were maybe TEN days when the weather was uncomfortably cold or there was snow. But fuckheads are paying up on Kickstarter to get a mail-order coat that won't arrive till NEXT FALL.

Such is the allure of the KICKSTARTER game, the Internet game, the "Groupon" game, and all the rest of it. Right now you can find plenty of coats on every site from Amazon to J.Crew, but oooh, this is NEW. It's on KICKSTARTER and FACEBOOK. Everybody's getting in on it. Baaah baaah.

Oh, but the buyers aren't sheep, because they don't have wool coats and desperately need whatever they're told is NEW and IMPROVED. As if there's any radical way to improve on a fucking coat. No shortage of fashion coats? No shortage of sportswear coats with pockets? No shortage of coats made out of oh-so-insulated material?

Come on Guyyyyyyssss and Galllllsssssss. Somebody told you to buy, so BUY. It's "breaking the Internet." Like fat-ass Kim Kuntrashian. She shows her big ugly ass on the Internet and that must mean she's beautiful and useful.

Maybe, guyyyyysss and galllssss, you should go invent some piece of shit to sell to gullible morons.

All you need is a prototype. And hype. Hoist the item to Kickstarter. Pay people to post about it on Facebook. If you can't con people, you walk away. If they fall for it, you can laugh all the way to the bank.