Thursday, February 18, 2016

AMY WAGSTAFF is AGHAST: a GOFUNDME for ANUS-LIPS KUNTYE??

Darren was right there when AMY WAGSTAFF WETONE dropped her laptop in shock.

He took this photo on his cellphone (yes, the one he reviewed for 30 minutes on GooTube, spending 29 minutes trying to open the Amazon cardboard box).

Darren tells the tale:

"We were on our way to a practice session. Amy was planning on reading Jane Austin over my fart-beats. I had already eaten a pound of beans, and had brought along a whole take-away order of burritos and cheeseburgers on the train. Suddenly, Amy looked up from her laptop, gasped, and nearly fell over. As the laptop hit the ground, I snapped the picture.

"Amy was checking KICKSTARTER and GOFUNDME, trying to figure out which would be perfect for her next mooching expedition. That's when she saw an ad for that KUNTYE WEST guy! And guess what, this man, who has a $20 million mansion and gold-plated toilet seats and has a rich bitch wife and can make $100,000 a day just showing up at parties...has a "fan" raising money for him!

"In a day, he already raised more than AMY or ME or SHAUNA put together!!!

"Yes! It's at gofundme and the backslash is /kanyesmedicis."

As Darren and Amy sobbed and pulled out their hair (Darren being slowed down by the woolly stuff covering his back and shoulders and butt) the tally of money coming from concerned, good-hearted FANS continued to grow, and grow, and GROW.

Yes, it was just a few days ago that KUNTYE was screaming and Tweeting about his new album, and what a genius he is, and how Taylor Swift is a BITCH, and how he's YEEZY the new JESUS, and yes, that he's "in debt" and needs over $50million from Zuckerberg and other power brokers so he can be another DISNEY and go forward with all his "dreams and plans."

It was just a few days ago that he admitted he actually has a personal fortune (amid putting out his new album, storming all over NYC promoting his clothing company during "Fashion Week" and turning up on "Saturday Night Live" while the "Keeping up with the Kardashians" kameras roll and roll and roll.

The guy is the most over-exposed arrogant bag of hot air on the planet and "fans" feel sorry for him and are pulling money out of their pants to donate to him!

They solemnly want to help him out because he's lovable, and a genius, and NEEDY. They also think his wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. They think that Caitlyn Jenner is "brave" for wearing a dress and having a reality show and getting six-figure speaking fees.

They dutifully feel they should buy whatever the Jenner girls model. They send get well cards to Lamar Odom c/o Khloe, and leave defensive positive comments whenever the planet's ROYAL COUPLE (or any of their relatives) are maligned or laughed at on Internet websites.

Let's all make sure Kanye is happy, and fulfills ALL his dreams, which includes being the Nigga Disney and dictating to the world that they should pay $200 for sneakers, and wear leather skirts, and never listen to pop music made by pretty white girls.

Oh, GO FUND HIM! Do it even ahead of parasitic clueless fools like AMY WAGSTAFF WETONE, BARREN COCK AND SHAUNA CUNTWELL, who think THEY are the chosen ones.

Let's ALL get together and give money to this man who is SO adorable, decent, fair, even-tempered and sweet. And coooo-eeee, aren't his two figlets just the cutest little things? Maybe we should do an extra GOFUNDME for syringes so he can inseminate Khloe and Kourtney and bring more figlets into the world. After all, with Kardashian BEAUTY and Kanye's BRAINS, it would be creating...a MASTER RACE!! OH GO FUND THE DREAM!

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