Monday, February 22, 2016

Ailing Tiger "Puppet Face" Woods: I Could Ass-Fuck Vonn Any Time

They're saying Tiger "Woman Abuser" Woods continues to have health problems.

It seems beating up women, fucking them in the ass, spitting on them, and treating them all like white bitches in a kennel, has affected his game so much he's had multiple surgeries.

And now? Aw, his back is out.

His managers and agents insist he'll be back to normal in no time.

"Normal" means being able to play golf and/or abuse stupid vanilla-faced women?

"Tiger" has kept his sense of humor. Asked for an autograph he signed, quipping, "If it'll help you get laid!" Har har.

If this was the London Daily Fail, I might add an attributed quote. You know: a LIE. Like:

"According to a pal, Woods says that his back isn't so bad that he couldn't "ass-fuck Lindsey Vonn if I felt like it. That cabbage-brain can't even ski as fast as I can run. I could catch up to her, pull her pants down, and drill her till she's mewling like Shauna Cuntwell doing a cover of Taylor Swift."

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