Years ago, before the Internet and rampant cable TV, you needed SPORTS ILLUSTRATED to show you pix of boxing matches you didn't get to see, freeze-frame moments of what you couldn't download as a jpg, and interviews with stars who are now over-exposed and chattering like magpies.
Now? SPORTS ILLUSTRATED flogs its ridiculous SWIMSUIT ISSUE, and wimps who aren't allowed a copy of Playboy or Maxim buy it and drool. Over what. SWIMSUITS? How...QUAINT.
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED's sales were saggier than Susan Sarandon's tits so they upped the ante by featuring celebrities in PAINTED ON swimsuits. And...by hiring attention-getting freaks like ASHLEY GRAHAM.
This year, the fucking hype-machine mag is offering THREE different covers of its swimsuit issue and this is one of them:
What, Kim Kardashian wasn't available?
What's so attractive about a rubber-lipped shit-eyed retard bouncing her blubber?
She's got "some" shape but this could be an NFL Fullback after a sex change.
Compare her to a previous standard of model, Cheryl Tiegers, some 30 years ago.
Tiegs herself is comparing these two covers and she says:
"I don't like that we're talking about full-figured women because it's glamorizing them..."
And she's right. It's like putting lipstick on a pig.
If somebody has a thing for fatties (see: Clinton, Bill and Lewinsky, Monica) fine. A lot of people thought Mama Cass was attractive. People think Adele is attractive. But in sports? As a standard of health and beauty? Hell no.
"Your your waist should be smaller than 35 inches," Tiegs says, quoting one of today's most famous TV health doctors. "That's what Dr. Oz said, and I'm sticking to it." Being a chunk of rubber like the phony-named Ashley Graham (isn't that a porn star or a swinger website?). "No, I don't think it's healthy."
IF I'M BEING HONEST, that's not the best photo I've seen on Cheryl Tiegs, and it's not a great example of a waistline curving in and hips curving out, but there you are. She was a model. She never became an actress with those measurements.
The Bardot-Monroe actress types throughout the last half of the 20th Century, were 36-24-36. Give or take an inch. Think of it. Ashley Graham's waist is bigger than Marilyn Monroe's bust! No, that ain't healthy. I doubt the measurements of Ronda Rousey (another SPORTS ILLUSTRATED cover bitch) are anywhere near those. Ronda is probably more like 34-24-32. (She lands on her butt a lot, and that's flattening)
No, unless you're buying plus size porn, especially to get fleshier views of boobs and ass, you want an hour glass figure. A slim waist.
Most women aren't close to 36-24-36 perfection, but to be considered attractive, being a FEW inches softer in the middle is ok. Today gruesome fat women are trying to justify jamming their cake holes and insisting it's "natural" and "attractive" having a waist BIGGER than Marilyn Monroe's tits! Only they also have double chins and waddle when they walk. They literally want to have their cake and eat it, too. We live in a world of sport-eating, eating-contests and snacking as recreation. "Hey, let's go out and have a pizza...then we'll have dinner in a few hours..."
Granted, "supersizing" is part of human growth. Humans keep getting bigger. Even so, take a look at female and male sports stars. Most tennis ladies are still thin, whether they are smaller (Martina Hingis) or taller (Anna Sharapova). Obviously it's not healthy to be a 200 pound slob gasping after 10 minutes.
Men? Take boxers? Even if the average height is 5'8 up from 5'7 (or whatever it is), there are still plenty of lightweights, welterweights and middleweights, and all have flat stomachs. Even most of the heavyweights are in proportion. They don't have weightlifter bellies.
Meanwhile SPORTS ILLUSTRATED has gotten its shock publicity and has made enough off their SWIMSUIT ISSUE fetish to keep going as a rather SLIM magazine not nearly as HEAVY as it used to be.
People are still attracted to a Heidi Klum at 40, or a Cheryl Tiegs or Sophia Loren, too. But imagine that human rock-slide Ashley Graham at 40, without her make-up team and her wig and an extra-strength swimsuit cinching her in. That's one thunder-thighed blobulent NIGHTMARE.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.