Oh, He said FECK and complained about Goose Shit

SOME people are saying a sad farewell to Frank Kelly. The guy looked like he had lots of charm and a truly sophisticated sense of humor.

Put it this way; some items of comedy from Great Britain don't provide a bundle of laughs overseas.

Fine. Everybody has their own favorites, which means laughing at local references, or recognizing a "character" as inbred as they are. What's a little depressing is when people INSIST that YOU should be laughing, too.

"Father Ted" was one of the many lesser shows flogged on the notoriously Brit-happy PBS. PBS did popularize Monty Python in America, but also relentlessly showed "Upchuck Downstairs," "All Things Trite and Doody-Full," "Pest Minister," and "Are You Being Bored?" In other words, they've perpetuated the worst of British stereotypes.

"Father Ted" was suggested to me. I watched a minute or two. I was told: "You have to watch a LOT of episodes. You have to GET INTO the characters!"

FECK.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I don't WANT to invest a lot of fucking time into getting to know sitcom characters. It's very rare when I've had to "work" at "getting into" any kind of show. TV is designed for people to instantly "get" the main characters. Living with the characters might make things funnier, and the writing might get better as the series moves along, but you know after one viewing if "After You've Gone" or "Fawlty Towers" or whatever is right for you.

I can see that some shows are great, just not for ME. I can see why some people liked "Fools and Horses." I didn't relate to it. Some shows were ok, but they just didn't have enough going on to make me care to watch more than a few episodes. "Rising Damp" was one of those.

I sort of liked "Rising Damp" for one or two episodes but it got predictable. Do I have time for every "Steptoe" or "On the Buses?" Christ no. Having not seen an episode in 20 years, I checked that "Doctor" thing with poor Barry Evans. It was ok, and I remembered him as likable, self-effacing, and good at the fluster-bumble-shy bit. So? It didn't have me urgently wanting to watch every episode. Even episodes by Cleese and Chapman or Cryer are pretty short on memorable moments. Same with the racist show Evans did later. If the girl with the tits isn't showing them, well, I've had enough with the Paki accent gags.

Back to Kelly. His obit admitted, if he's known outside of the U.K., it's only for his four years as "Father Ted." Yeah, what Robert Newton was to pirates, THIS guy is to priests. "You HAVE to remember," I was told, "The British have this thing about the clergy. They LOVE humor about the clergy, especially if the priest is portrayed as outrageously ugly, dirty and nasty. That's hilarious!"

Yeah. And it was hilarious watching Ronnie Barker stuttering and gazing at bosoms while owning a boring store someplace? Or Ronnie Corbett puttering around suffering an overbearing wife or mother or whatever it was? How about "One Foot in the Gravy" where you could get a funny show one week and a dull one the next? I almost feel like downloading some "Father Ted" just to make sure, but I just do not have the time. Watching old TV sitcoms makes about as much sense as singing 40 Taylor Swift covers and uploading them to GooTube.

Back to Kelly. When you try to explain why something's funny, you're doomed to fail. I read that this guy spent some 20 years on the "Glen Abbey" radio show...

"With Kelly playing the part of a culchie called "Gobnait O'Lúnasa." They typically started with the sound of him putting coins in an old freckle coin box, and when the phone rang and was answered, his words were, "Hello! Guess who? Is that you Nuala?" Kelly would act the part of an English BBC reporter interviewing rural inhabitants about bacon being sliced, or "ha-hooing" (shouting a Rebel yell) competitions. Typically the village was called Ballykilferret in "the Republic of Eer-ah" (a mispronunciation of Éire). A compilation of his sketches was released on a CD in about 2000.Tracks included the Ayatollah Ceili Band (a pun on The Tulla Céilí Band)..."

"Hush now, don't explain..."

Sounding a bit like a Shauna Cuntwell resume, the obit continued, with a numb, almost generic list of credits: "Kelly toured extensively in the US and Canada. He regularly provided voice-overs and TV advertising work, and appeared with Mr Tayto in the recent popular campaign for Tayto crisps." Let's have some respect. The man appeared with Mr. Tayto.

The kicker was:

"Kelly released a single, "Christmas Countdown", a comedy song based on the "12 Days of Christmas" carol (penned by Hugh Leonard), which reached number 8 in the Irish Singles Chart in 1982 and peaked at 26 in the UK Singles Chart in 1984."

Have I mentioned how much I hate and LOATHE predictable comedy? After the first fucking day of Christmas, you know where this is heading. He's gonna bitch about every gift he gets, and belabor the obvious: that nobody needs a partridge in a pear tree, three French hens, six geese a laying, because the place is gonna stink of bird shit, ha ha.

The script is funny if you're a cretin. Did Kelly give it anything with his "funny" oy-rish accent and increasing exasperation? Not for me, and not when it's dragging FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

Thousands upon thousands think "Christmas Countdown" is "BRILLIANT." It's just kinda sad that somebody who brought laughter to millions of people didn't bring one smile to ME. But then again, neither did David Bowie.

In the end (literally) there was the sorry line about how this guy left his wife of 51 years and 7 children: with a pain in the ass. Like Glenn Frey, Kelly was afflicted with a one-two punch. He had to deal with a sneaky attack up his arse, and then got finished off with something even worse. Frey you'll remember had ulcerative colitis and then rheumatoid arthritis which led to pneumonia. Kelly had bowel cancer, topped off with Parkinson's Disease. Which meant that toward the end he was finding life the way I find "Christmas Countdown."