LINES BY LONGFELLOW, "ON SEEING A PHOTO OF A FAT LADY"

"Such was the wreck of the Hesperus...GOD SAVE US ALL..."

"How Do You Sleep?"

So salt and pepper trickle from your thighs
When you were born you popped your mother's eyes
Those boobs are big but so's your horse-sized rump
Is your address the fuckin' City Dump?
How do you wipe...
Ah how do you wipe yer arse?

You look like shit that's melted on an ox
When you lie down you look like Grimsby's docks
You snapped a bra strap and cried "Sagnus Dei!"
And since that's done it's just an udder day
How do you hoist?
Ah how do you hoist your tits?

A pretty face can't last a year or two
It's sitting on 10 stone of smelly goo
The sound of ghoulash stew when you digest
Broke all the windows out in Bucharest.
How do you shave?
Ah how do you shave your twat?