Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Wow, 3rd Rate Lindsey Vonn Takes Third - Let's Cheer

Huh? A headline about someone finishing...THIRD?

That's what happens if the third rater happens to be Tiger Woods' spermbank.

That's the media, and a media whore. A non-news event becomes news.

Nobody'd even care about a fucking ski event if Vonn wasn't in it.

Vonn, now 30, and not getting younger, wouldn't be news except she's pushed heavily by the garbage sponsors she endorses, and she's Mrs. Tiger Woods. Usually she's a photo op, standing at the sidelines cheerleading the failing career of her dull, ugly "50 Shades of Shit" husband, the guy who still looks about 14 years-old and has a face like a duck.

We all know "Tiger." He has a nickname that doesn't suit him (did I mention he has a face like a duck?). He used it, and the race card, to make a name for himself in the dullest spectator sport on earth. He isn't completely "black" (he's part Hawaiian, and part cheese) but golf is "too white" so he was turned into a media darling. All that adulation helped his confidence as he became a leader in a sport formerly dominated by overweight men in their 50's and the occasional idiot savant Mexican.

What Tiger Woods most certainly is, is a serial woman-abuser, and his specialty is in degrading and sexually abusing white women. This continued until one of them chased him with a golf club and nearly split his coconut for him. She got the divorce and millions. He got Vonngina to play with instead.

Lindsey Vonngina is proud of finishing THIRD. She's such a dumb blonde it's surprising she even knows how to ski down a hill. Somebody had to point her in the right direction.

No doubt the reporter here censored some of her quotes. The original might've been:

"Oh, it's a miracle I finished third. My knees are killing me from sucking my Black Master's cock. Tiger loves to say romantic things like, "I own you" and "Suck it, white girl." And the ever-popular, "Don't you want it up your ass?" Is there a white girl who doesn't expect anal sex from her Black Master? I sure do. Frankly, Tiger's been abusing me more than usual now that he's completely missing the cut at tournaments. The only question is which club he asks his caddy to shove up my ass. I prefer the putter. He's gone for the 5 wood! Wow! That's TOO BIG even for an incredible asshole like me. Uh, like mine...

...I might've finished second but I was distracted by all of Tiger's "milk" leaking out of my ass, and from people shouting "Down!" I appreciate that they were trying to point me in the right direction, but I thought it was Tiger wanting me to go down on him. Poor guy, one thing about abusing blondes is that it's made him sort of snow-blind. He might to jerk off on my face, but it's all a white blur, and it sometimes gets in my hair, instead, and then people mistake me for Cameron Diaz."

I keed. I keed. I wish this chicken-headed slut the best of cluck. And Tiger? That he's lost his touch with the nuances of golf is such a shame. But he can make up for it by exploring the finer art of S&M and B&D, and 50 ways of abusing white women up the ass.

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