How about somebody who can get paid for doing almost nothing?
That could be one definition.
William Shatner can go to some Comic-Con show and get paid $100 a minute. He just signs his name. He's far from alone. Even stars much farther down on the cult-TV chain, like Adam West, can get close to that. Want to stand next to the original Batman for a photo? Pony up $50. Or is it $75 now?
That's my definition of doing nothing and getting paid for it. It's pure adulation. Just stand there and let me take a picture. Just write your name on a photo of yourself.
Coming close to that, is when people pay $50 or $75 to watch you talk. Yep, there are "one night only" events at the 92nd Street Y and other venues, where somebody as banal and nearly forgotten as Chevy Chase can be lobbed easy questions by a fawning movie critic or "professor of film" for an hour, take a few questions from the audience...and walk away with a stuffed wallet.
How about tickets...$100 or $200 or more...to watch somebody READ?
Look at this! It's Mia Farrow and Brian Dennehy reading letters!
Yes, that's the show. Two people on a stage. Reading.
There are quite a few shows like this..."gimmick" shows...where the draw is a star is well paid to be seen IN PERSON and stared at for 90 minutes...and doesn't even have to memorize lines.
Just read speeches, poems, "vagina monologues" or in this case, letters.
The gimmick with "Love Letters," is that it's a limited run with a changing set of actors and actresses. In a few weeks Mia and Brian will be replaced with Alan Alda and Candice Bergen. Who will be replaced by Stacy Keach and Diana Rigg. Who will be replaced by Anjelica Huston and Martin Sheen. And Carol Burnett...
There's your definition of a star.
Farrow, Alda, Bergen, Rigg, Burnett, etc. etc., who get to easily add a Broadway credit, pull down a huge salary, and really, barely work up a sweat for a few easy weeks where they can EASILY fill a house with eager fan-believers.
Does it matter what shitty stupid drivel they're going to read out loud? Nope, it really doesn't. I know. I've been to a few of these, JUST to see THE STAR in person, and maybe get a moment to say hello, get an autograph or a photo. What should I do instead, go to Sunday morning services? Where I'm doing some of the reading? And I have to imagine that there's a higher power?
What a 21st Century world...where your choice is to be a religious fanatic, a conspiracy theorist, or a fanboy. Those are the ways people cope. They believe in a fearsome loony god, they believe everything's a con job and mysterious gods are controlling everything because they are CEO's or kings or Jews, or they believe in someone who plays a fictional character they wish was real...and cheerfully mistake the performer for that character.
Oh, and congratulations, Mia, you were allowed to premiere your weeks of performance, and continue on, without anyone writing: "She did not address the scandal...she did not talk about..." Oh, talk about her sex life, her weird penchant for adopting kids, whether she tells the truth or not, what her part was in Dory Previn's misery...
If Woody Allen was reading in a few weeks, instead of Alan Alda or Stacy Keach, you can bet the papers would be loaded with: "He's reading love letters...but will he read any that he wrote to Mia? Or to Soon-yi? Will he address the subject of unnatural love for an underage child based on rumor?"
Oh well. Woody IS a star, but a different kind. He's one who doesn't do photo ops, doesn't do conventions, doesn't do staged readings, and when he signs an autograph he doesn't request payment.
In the meantime, how nice that while most services are only once a week...a Saturday morning, or a Sunday morning...fans can come and worship a favorite STAR in person most any night, and on a Wednesday or Sunday matinee, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.