New Yorker Caption Contest: It's Even Mediocre

The Three Stooges used to enthuse about idiotic shit: "It's phenomenal...it's sensational...it's even mediocre!"

So curb your enthusiasm for the lame "New York Cartoon Caption Contest."

Every week the effete, over-fed and pretentious shits of The New Yorker offer up a badly drawn cartoon and encourage the sponge-heads, Kale-eaters, and connoisseurs of matching socks and ties to...NOT BE FUNNY.

Did you laugh at ANY of the three "Finalist" captions?

Of course not.

Pathetic, isn't it? You know from glancing at the "comments" on websites and blogs, just how witless, obvious, jejune, bland and inane people are. Without bothering to think, they knock out the first thing that comes to mind.

On a newspaper website, this is usually: "You can't make this stuff up!"

Or: "That's gotta hurt!"

Or: "But tell us how you REALLY think."

Or: "If you fall for that I have some Florida swamp real estate you can buy!"

WHAT..EVER...

How can you NOT feel a sense of anhedonia and utter depression when a fucking cartoon contest that is supposed to make you laugh...makes you barf?

The New Yorker, once a place where you'd find Woody Allen and Chas Addams and other geniuses, is now full of timorous twits, wimpy jackasses and utter retards.

The New Yorker used to be known as a witty magazine. Now it's for middle-class mediocre morons. It's dumbed down. It's trying desperately to attract the unwashed, the unfashionable, the goons who'd guffaw at Vince Vaughn movies.

Barely one of the three "finalists" even bothered to key a line to the angel or devil in that cartoon. There's the "Didn't you see the light" which MIGHT be a play on "seeing the light" of God's wonder, or whatever. But that ain't funny. Nobody did much beyond knee-jerking an instant, stupid response. For that, they deserve to win...a subscription to Punch. Or...a punch.