WHO...THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THE WHO'S 50th?

Have you seen Pete Townshend lately? He looks like any pensioner-geezer sitting in a rocker...

I'm not an ageist. Anyone over 40 is a fuckin' old-timer as far as THIS world is concerned, and that's a shame. I'm not saying "wrinkly rockers" like Mick Jagger should go away, or that hoarse-voiced Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen need to pack it in. You're never too old to rock and roll. But...

WHO ASKED YOU TO?

I mean, just because it's your fucking anniversary...40th or 50th...you don't need to soil our ears, or your adult diapers, just to prove you're alive. Grace Slick's retired. It IS possible to just stop being a jackass and act your age.

As a fellow blogger succinctly pointed out, in the case of The Who, the age-old question is: "WHY?"

These guys haven't been relevant in 40 years. I do remember when that fucking "Tommy" thing was hot shit. It was awful and unavoidable. Every fucking radio station kept playing that irritating "Pinball Wizard" song, and some progressive stations happily played the one about the pervert diddling the boy.

I suppose "The Who" deserve some credit for, like Liz King of The Doors and Janis Junkyard, being a one or a two-hit wonder. Yeah, "My G-g-g-g-generation" as j-j-j-j-jerky as it is, is a rock c-c-c-c-classic among those now old enough to have a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack. What else? "I Can See For Miles?" "Pictures of Lily?" So far, that barely puts them at the level of The Kinks. That's not even ONE side of a "Greatest Hits" album. I've left off "We Won't Be Fooled Again" because it's just SO stupid. We've been fooled...mostly by "The Who" Greatest Hits re-packages.

Give 'em credit for breaking perfectly good guitars...and they're still short of deserving any space on the podium with The Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Fuck Who!

Just because it was their 50th, the Stones staggered out to show the world they could perform for two hours without taking a nap. Good. Seriously. Jagger's at an age where one wrong move with his faggot dancing and he can break a hip.

Props to McCartney for still getting it done, and Dylan of course, and all the others in their late 60's and beyond. But WHY flog a 40th or 50th unless there's a reason? I mean a GOOD reason, not just to fill the coffers with money cadged off dimwit diehard fans who MUST own EVERYTHING? Go away, Jethro Tull. And guess what, Mr. and Mrs. Davies (whichever one you choose to call the cunt), NOBODY CARES ABOUT A KINKS REUNION. This is the most absurd and tiresome "Story" ever foisted on Rolling Stone and the other mags that actually bother to write up geriatric rockers.

It's always the SAME fucking SHIT...a whole lot of bickering, pouting, insults, ultimatums...and let's please remember that The Kinks stopped being The Kinks at LEAST 30 years ago. If not more. When was the last time they had any kind of hit? "Come Dancing" was 1983. And it stunk, really.

WHY are we still getting interviews from Ray and Dave in which they bitch to reporters (but not to each other) over when...how...maybe...if...and toss their coy demands through the media. Oooh, we can do it WITH Mick Avory...or NOT. We can only do it if we have new material. We can only do it if...oh, SHUT THE FUCK UP. And The Who? Just seeing a re-package on that shit reminds us a turd can't be polished. And I don't think it was exactly newsworthy that yet another re-package of George Harrison's mediocre solo albums was made into a grand "gift idea" for Christmas.

You can barely name, on one hand, the artists over 60 who are still writing and singing material worth buying. Most of their product isn't worth listening to on a fucking free download! I sure as hell don't bother with most of this idiocy, even for free. If I do, a quick listen tells me, "No, lost it. Pale imitation of what you were."

The 50th nonsense with The Who and The Kinks is just depressing and irritating. As much as we want the illusion of immortality, or at least the illusion that being 70 is not a death sentence, or that you don't look like you should only come out on Halloween...the fact is that a 50th Anniversary is bound to be nothing but an embarrassing old whore exercise in vanity and futility.

How nice that Jay Black or Gary Brooker or Tom Jones can still hit a note. None of them can hit one on a song that is less than 30 years old...if not 40 or even 50. Because anything they've written recently has sucked, and most of 'em can't even find a decent song by somebody else!

The alternative is what, not being part of the 21st Century at all? Not a great alternative. But really, some of these acts can retire and most of us wouldn't miss 'em in the least. I'm very happy to recall Grace Slick as somebody who was vaguely worth looking at 40 years ago, and definitely worth hearing...on maybe two songs. Tops. At least she had the Grace to go away when she stopped being Slick.