Monday, September 1, 2014

Upton Up in Arms - Oh, How DARE the INTERNET!

Captain Renault said it best. "I'm shocked...SHOCKED..."

...that dumbass celebrity twats who constantly have wardrobe malfunctions, who Tweet instagrams of twerking, and who spend most of their time making shitty movies that expose their titties, are UPSET that their stupid snapshots that they UPLOADED TO THE INTERNET are now up for all to see.

Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence, Dumb and Dumber, are asking the FBI to come in and wipe their asses off the Internet.

Excuse me...THE FBI?

Are you talking about the fuckheads who post those impotent messages on CDs and DVDs? The ones about "You face a $5000 fine..." if you copy a movie or music? THAT bunch of Fucking Bullshit Idiots? The FBI?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

PS, I have no idea who that idiot is in the picture. She's one of the "leaked" celebrities whose images have gone from 4Chan (some Chinese food/steal everything website) to every photo upload service and blog and forum and torrent.

Maybe she's Nickelodeon’s Victoria Justice, “Sky High” and “Final Destination 3” actress Mary Elizabeth Winstead, pop star Ariana Grande or actress Kirsten Dunst.

Frankly, I wouldn't know any of 'em unless the had their names sewn into their underwear...or tattooed on their tits.

The funniest line is a Tweet from bird-brain Winstead: “To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves."

Yeah, come to think of it, Ms. Twat, I feel pretty good. I've had a long and particularly lousy day, it's been hot and humid, there were morons getting in my way on the street and in stores, and seeing some idiot's private nudie pix...ESPECIALLY ones she didn't want me to see...ALMOST gets me even.

Now here's the bottom line. THE FBI? The FUCKING BONEHEAD IMBECILES? I find it pretty shocking...SHOCKING...to think that they have nothing better to do than chase all around the Internet to find the dweeb in a basement who uploaded undie photos of talentless idiots. These were photos that STUPID TWAT BIMBO CUNT BITCHES foolishly stored on clouds or on their phones! It's not like the musicians and moviemakers whose works are, at this very minute, being thrown all over forums and torrents IN SPITE OF FBI WARNINGS NOT TO.

For 10 years it seems like the FBI watched and did nothing while the music industry went down the toilet. Didn't the RIAA ask for a little help? When avi files allowed movies to be stolen and downloaded within five or ten minutes...didn't the MPAA or SAG ask the FBI for help?? And now they're supposed to go raging all over cyberspace because a dizzy bitch like Jennifer Lawrence...a dopey slit who can't even stand up straight...got her nudie pix hacked??

I say FUCK YOU ALL. A big FUCK YOU ALL. Because Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton and Dipshit Dunce and all the rest of 'em...are overpaid pampered-pussy MILLIONAIRES, and that's because they're overpaid by the TV and Movie companies who aren't asking the FBI to track down and prosecute the forums and torrents that steal everything for a free download.

Jennifer Fucking Lawrence and the rest of these shits...don't even have official websites. They're so high and mighty they don't even want to have contact with their "fans." At best, they have some slut-head secretary snot do it for them on Twitter or Facebook...AT BEST. Mostly their attitude is a big FUCK YOU, GO WATCH OUR TV SHOWS AND MOVIES AND LEAVE US ALONE TO DO SELFIES AND GET HIGH AND LIVE OUR MILLIONAIRE LIVES.

The FBI gets involved because a bunch of bimbos showed their boobs? When the FBI wasn't interested in making sure assholes on Google blogs stayed OFF those blogs and stopped giving away every copyrighted item on the planet??

Upton? Grow up. Jenny? You might as well let someones spend a penny in your mouth. You're all fucking peasants as far as I can see. The FBI should tell you all to shut the fuck up. As in: "We don't even enforce the legal disclaimer you see on a CD or DVD..."

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