The Beatles - BACK To MONO

I can almost hear John Lennon, "So it's near Christmas...and what have you done...put out some more BEATLES...the greed-rush has begun..."

Really...it's not THAT far from Christmas, and you can bet some people are hinting, "What I'd really like is..."

A fucking boxed set of Beatles on vinyl? At this point in time?

Maybe so. Gosh, nearly $400 but free delivery...

A lot of us are content with our original old mono, thanks.

More are content with the CDs. Or even the mp3s. Or the RE-MASTERED CD's.

Can we follow the confusing greed-chain here? Every step of the way, we were told "No, no, THIS is the way to hear THE BEATLES..."

First it was mono. On vinyl. In America, this was soon replaced with: "Idiots...get the BRITISH vinyl...it has more tracks and better quality sound." Which was met with: "Idiots, American vinyl has better quality, and the cardboard sleeve isn't made of gloss-coated toilet paper."

Meanwhile connoisseurs bought the reel-to-reel. And others bought the cassettes. Or 8-tracks.

By the time of "Sgt. Pepper" we were told, "Oh, For Fuck's Sake, throw out ALL mono stuff...you want STEREO. It's gotta be STEREO, especially Sgt. Pepper..."

Then we were told to re-buy everything because "compact disc" has BETTER sound. No it doesn't. Yes it does. Do you want an argument?

Eventually the hipsters insisted, "VINYL is much kewler than CD. Go get a turntable and be SERIOUS."

And pay a fortune for mint or sealed old albums. Or better yet...let's have fresh pressings! Now let's have mp3's. Now let's have re-mastered CD's. Now let's have everything on STEREO VINYL...

...NOW LET'S HAVE IT ALL ON MONO VINYL, because MONO is really the way to listen to EVERYTHING. If you're Phil Fucking Spector, who didn't issue "Let It Be" in mono. Or did he? I've lost track. I've bought tracks. I'm sidetracked. I'm...SICK OF IT.

FUCK IT. Enough already. NO WAY would I buy this fucking set even if I could afford it. Vinyl is ridiculous. All you have to do is take it out of the shrinkwrap and it's scratched. Just put it on a turntable once and there are clicks and pops. There could be some the very first time you play it!

I'd rather listen to my OLD VINYL that has all the scratches that I put it into it...and has the original labels, and the original cardboard sleeves!

But, as I loved to tell an ex-friend who owns multiple-pressings of every Beatles album..."What IS the fucking point? How many fucking times can anyone stand hearing Ringo sing "BOYS" or Paul sing "Obladi-Oblada" and how many fucking times can anyone raise eyebrows, wink and nudge-nudge over "You Know My Name Look Up the Number?"

Life is very short, and there's no time...for re-buying BEATLES my friend...and what EMI/Capitol/Apple does is a cr-i-i-i-i-i-i-ime."