Hey you white guys, stop running AMAZON so well!

One thing we can say about Bozo Bezos and his Fascists at Amazon...they are efficient.

Mussolini got the trains running on time, and I can't say I have EVER had a delay in getting a package from Amazon. I've never had one badly packaged. I've never had a problem getting a refund if the item was defective. I've never bought an Amazon mp3 download that failed to download.

Damn, isn't that awful? Those fucking WHITE GUYS at Amazon are TOO FUCKING PROFESSIONAL.

Clearly, Amazon needs more illiterates. It needs more ATTITUDE. It needs a workplace where if you say anything you'll get a bitchy screaming voice in your ear or a big spooky black face in your face. Right, more women! More blacks! And don't forget...MORE BLACK WOMEN.

After all, when you call up customer support, you want to hear ebonics. You want to hear: "You axing me a question, yo? Look, I dah-no when yo package be comin' to ya." Or maybe a testy bitch saying, "Excuuuuse me? Did you raise your voice? I don't think I want to talk to you sir, Good DAY!"

To quote the opening to every tried, frustrated Piers Morgan remark, "LOOK, IF I'M HONEST..."

The first person I'll go to at the bank, at the department store, at the hospital, at the office...is going to be the white guy. He's the one who knows what the fuck he's doing.

If I'm at Burger King, I'll go with the black woman, because the white guy has to be a total retard.

Sorry, but IF I'M HONEST...

Tameka "Tiny Brain" Harris Goes a Bit Whiter

If it wasn't for the panting, drooling NEWS COVERAGE, I would be blissfully unaware of the moronic antics of so-called "reality" stars.

What happened to the days when the front page was NEWS, the back page was SPORTS, and the BULLSHIT CELEBRITY GARBAGE wasn't printed at all? It was in TABLOIDS at the supermarket.

This is front page news? Some creepy-looking mandrill I never heard of?

So, this zombie gets implants so she can look like a white freak?

That's about the only news I can see here...that in this age where big Negroid lips and gigantic Negroid asses are the norm for sex symbols (white or black) some maniac is going lighter.

Her complexion is light, and now her eyes are light. Her lips are red and her hair is orange. This is a proud BLACK woman?

I guess her "rapper husband" (never heard of that ape either) likes the orangutan look...very orange.

But come on, even KANYE went for a white woman with dark eyes and black hair and a huge, huge, HUGE butt.

Is "Tiny Brain" going to change her name, next? That first name is a black give-away. NO white woman on the planet is named TAMEKA. Or Tylenol. Or Advil. Or Lunilda. Or Chaka. Or Caca.

Freak-eyes never exactly turned me on. Once in a while I've seen these punk assholes on the street using the insane lenses...but they can remove them. We know the lenses are as phony as the followers of fashion. But to actually make 'em permanent...and think it's a GOOD look? Why did I have to see this? Look, this ain't NEWS, it's more like Psycho 101.

Chiller Theatre and their List of Losers - Hollow Halloween

The "Grand-Daddy" of the over-priced, soporific memorabilia conventions is "Chiller Theatre," which still draws muttering grumbling New Yorker geeks on a tedious trip out to nowhere (New Jersey). Some pay $20 or more to reserve a seat in a van that some comic book store hired out for the day, ferrying fools back and forth. Others wander the maze of the Port Authority Bus Terminal, find a bus to the (small) Jersey town nearest the convention site, and then call up for a taxi to bring them to the actual hotel.

It's easier for the geekier schmucks from New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Connecticut, who can have mommy drive them to the obscure location.

Obscure? New Jersey converts swampland into "convention centers," malls and football stadiums. The land is cheap. All it takes are some corrupt politicians to decide where to build, and how much money goes into the back pocket.

The idea with the "convention centers" is that all the morons who do business with New Jersey factories (the ones that make the state smell so awful) need hotel space for the annual meeting of all the affiliates, and rooms where the dullards can hold meetings. Once in a while, these centers get taken over not by boring businessmen but by Chiller and similar memorabilia outfits. The meeting rooms are transformed into grotesque displays...some rooms for people selling worthless merchandise and others loaded with nobodies sitting around trying to look like they did when people actually cared about them.

I think you know that I haven't been to one in about ten years...the last time I chaperoned an actress to her table...which was back when Chiller actually had some better-known stars. (One problem is that the more interesting stars from 40's and 50's horror and sci-fi are all dead, 60's stars are not as ambulatory...and most anyone from the 70's on is not a star at all.)

Even then, I was disgusted by most of what went on. I hated these Halloween assholes (Chiller always taking place close to if not ON Halloween) dressed up as they made their sweaty way down the corridors of (past)time. I hated the greedheads who'd bellow and moan and shout as they pawed through magazines, photos wrapped in plastic, or the (few) bins of records. "Curb your enthusiasm" would've been the NICEST thing I could say to them. Along with, "Stop having an orgasm over EVERY SINGLE MAGAZINE and COMIC BOOK...get on with it already and give somebody else a chance to flip through."

The mild "thrill" was that amid the dealer rooms with bootleg VHS and DVD (not much of THAT anymore) and the vast clot of absolute junk for sale...including masks and action figures and other dopey toys...there were the autograph rooms. From a room full of junk you'd suddenly walk into a room full of...junkies. Old whores. Half-retired fags. Sad salesmen who once appeared in an Ed Wood movie. In some cases, it was pretty much like you were walking into an old movie..."Bedlam," starring Boris Karloff. The one about insane people.

Only instead of Boris Karloff...there was SARA KARLOFF...along with, maybe, Bela Lugosi Jr. autographing a photo of his father for $5.

Back in the day, there might actually be a few old-timers worth looking at. You could take pictures of them free...they'd either ignore you, put their head down, or grin, or do a "famous" expression of menace. If there was no line you could just walk up and politely express your delight in seeing them...even if that delight wasn't the WORSHIP that meant you'd throw $20 for an autographed photo.

Some fans buy pix because they feel SORRY for these stars. I think memorabilia shows were the forerunner to "if you like it, buy it" and "support the artist by buying a t-shirt." You know, the demeaning of the star. Instead of the STAR being the STAR...the unwashed slob has the power because he has a $20 bill in his chubby hand. The D-listers put on their best smiles as Chubby walks by, hoping he'd think enough to "tip" them for an autograph on a photo. All of a sudden Chubby's not a nerd anymore. He's THE MAN WITH THE MONEY. Stars, it turns out, can be bought...and bought cheap.

With few exceptions (apparently Barbara Steele and some other babes would refuse to make eye-contact, or just shoot daggers of hate at everyone) the stars ceded power to the NERDS. A few clods I USED to know, would call me after coming back from some stupid event: "Oh, I bought a photo of XXX..." "Why?" "I felt sorry for her, nobody was at her table..."

Now? People have to need to worship SOMETHING (it's either Islam or Marvel super heroes). While Comic-Con attracts the big bucks, smaller stinkers like Chiller still thrive. Wasting hundreds of dollars means nothing when a janitor can earn $100,000 in the public school system. There's a recession going on? Money is tight? You'd never know it from the smug plumbers and dronish computer repair geeks who come swarming through the rooms to brighten their dull lives.

At Comic-Con there's the "pride" of bragging that no star can't be bought. "Yep, I got William Shatner...got Patrick Stewart...here's a picture of my ugly self right next to Adam West!" Nevermind it cost $75 to $150 for those few seconds of "fame." Then there's the superiority of going to Chiller and being the BOSS who calls the shots. The stars look up hoping to be picked...hoping to get that $20. Afterward, the BOSS shows off his prizes to his moronic friends. Like some D-lister's autograph heavily personalized with utter desperation: "To my best pal Stinky, so wonderful to meet you, (signed) Faded Actress."

I remember sitting next to an actress friend, who was being ordered to sign an elaborate inscription. It was humiliating. She said, "I don't know if I should've done that." And I told her, next time someone asks for more than a personalization, I'll be the "bad guy" and say no. Next time somebody asked for an elaborate compliment on a fucking photo, I said, "Please, let's keep the line moving, she only personalizes with a first name." She turned and said, "Nonsense...it's all right with me...now what did you want me to write?"

The convention "rooms" devoted to autographing? Chiller's convention, at some awful hotel or other, has names for every room. Too bad the names are on the door, and not sitting at the tables. Most of the names aren't names at all...except to desperate horror and sci-fi and trivia fan idiots...but there are plenty of them to at least make it worthwhile for SOME forlorn idiots to show up.

Really. How many of those "stars" would you want to talk to or get an autograph from...for FREE?

Topless Chelsea Handler Shoots Fish in a Barrel

One of the miserable things about SO many cable channels...is so many assholes like Chelsea Handler.

The pussyfication of American entertainment dictates that loudmouth cunts get all the attention...whether it's imbeciles like Viley Virus, or some "envelope pushing" rack-cunt-eur like Chelsea, who does nothing really beyond appeal to gays (who are frightened of women), and other bitches.

She has even intimidated other talk show hosts, including Conan and Leno, because she's a proud slut. The male ego is SO weak, that these guys are reduced to nervous tittering because Chelsea blabs about all the black guys she's fucked, and how she's prone to strap on just about any guy at any time. A turn-on to some? Apparently. Nervous laughter for some guys? Apparently.

Her "books" which pretty much ape Henry Miller from 70 years ago, are full of frank depictions of sex and bodily functions. Reading somebody else's diary is always fun, huh? When Letterman decided to retire, the big talk was that a WOMAN should get a chance (nevermind Joan Rivers already did). That WOMAN had to be Chelsea Handler...because...oh, who wouldn't want to hear a narcissistic slut rant all day along about her period, or whether her tits are sagging? This, with a few dykes and fags for sidekicks?

It didn't happen, but after way too long with a cable talk show that was absolutely unwatchable, Handler decided to move on...and renew her efforts to out-media whore Viley and Kardashian. In the latter case, she's even gone on instagram with Kardashian captions: "I look like Kardashian," etc. etc. while posing semi-naked and glowering into the camera. Funny? No. Sexy? To Sacher-Masoch, maybe. And gays and dykes and women who have a strange idea about what being "liberated" means.

So what's brought on all this, then? THIS:

Yes, the media whore has drummed up that tired, tired shit about "why can't women go topless..."

We all know why. So this bitch gets on a horse, pretends this is political satire about Putin, or some brilliant statement about equality, and the media can't get enough. The fucking picture, with the censor bars (as if we haven't seen her tits a million times) is all over the news. Brave Chelsea puts the picture up, Instagram takes it down. She puts it up again. They take it down. Instagram seems to love the publicity as much as she does, and their stance that they've actually got some morality and...like loathesome FARCEBOOK and YOUTUBE, if they don't show tits, but allow everyone to steal copyrighted material and say racist shit, then it's OK.

We live in a stupid world, don't we? You name the male star. He can put on a thong, shove his ass toward the cameras...there wouldn't be a click. Male stars can have a "nude scene" in a film, and show their butts. Nobody's turned on. A D-list actress in a thong? A D-list actress with leaked nude photos of her ass? A THOUSAND WEBSITES will have it, forums will be screaming "where do I see it," and bloggers would be panting to steal the photos and tell all their Farcebook friends. That's how it is. A woman's ass is $$$ and a man's ass is just an ass. A woman's tits are $$$ and a man's chest is just a chest. The proof of it is how crazy the media is to carry on about Chelsea Handler's rack, which we've seen a million times, and in all the images, is heavily censored. A woman's tits with a black bar over them? STILL vitally important to see.

Kings vs Democracy - These 2 Would be History

Ever think, "If I were king..."

One cool thing that kings can say is "Off with their heads."

It's not a nice thing to say, but then, there's THESE two:

A dumb inbred pimply psycho and an arrogant headbanger jackass.

As Mr. Gilbert once wrote, "would none of them be missed."

Babies R Us and Toys R Us - Should say NO to Kunt Kim Kardashian

America is the white trash redneck obese and pedophiliac capitol of the WORLD.

It's the country that gave you "Honey Boo Boo," a smirky overfed little piece of shit that redneck men apparently would LOVE to sleep with. Jerry Lee Lewis would take boner pills for "Honey Boo Boo."

It's the country of "Duck Dynasty," in which a bunch of cynical, cruel, hateful businessmen dress up like Z.Z. Top and go shooting ducks out of the sky. Turning lakes bloody. What FUN.

And it's the nation that has given the world KUNT KUNTRASHIAN and her anus-lipped KANYE. Somehow, this glazed turkey, this brainless, whiny-voiced load squeezed out of somebody's feminine napkin...is a SUPERSTAR to the point of...influencing KIDDIE FASHION?

Thank Christ there are some women out there fighting this disgusting stomach-turn of events:

It's not BAD ENOUGH that children are being influenced by Viley Virus and Justa Beeper? That they are being saturated with fat-inducing fast foods (eating as a competitive sport), moronic Super Hero movies, and idiot video games? It's not BAD ENOUGH that pubescent kids are downloading pirated Internet porn, seeing violence constantly, and wearing make-up even a whore would consider tasteless?

NOW...American capitalism and idiocy is dictating that kids are supposed to play with KIM KARDASHIAN dolls? Babies are supposed to dress as tastelessly as Kimye's own horrible bastardette North West?

Hopefully Toys R Us and Babies R Us will make sure that Redneck Americans CAN'T destroy the new generation with mind-pulping garbage to play with and sexualized pedophilia to wear.

What a terrible time and place to grow up: AMERICA in 2014.

Taylor Swift: $$$ for NY - Viley Virus - Drunken Twat

Today, yet another very stark difference between Taylor Swift and Viley Virus.

Taylor's song about New York (which she sang on Letterman's show, and which is redundant and dreadful) is #1 on iTunes. And...her royalties are going to New York City.

She's some kind of "good will ambassador" for the city...and she's proven it by living in the city, writing a song about the city (almost as awful as the Jay-Z Alicia Keys turd), and posing for pix all over town.

On the other side of the world, there's Viley Virus...every song of hers is awful, everything she does stinks, and she proudly declared she was "drunk" when she tossed half a million dollars down the AMFAR toilet:

Viley's quote: "I could break down people's walls that have been built up around sexuality."

No, Viley, you're just encouraging promiscuity and being a slutty tart. Sexuality isn't about prancing and twerking on stage. It isn't about miming sex with a giant dildo. It isn't about thrusting your barely-concealed crotch at the world. What you do isn't "sexuality" or sensuality. It's exhibitionistic stupidity.

All Viley wants to tell the world to do...is have sex with anyone anywhere, hang your tongue out of her mouth like a dog, and don't give a damn about anything but your own pleasure. In other words, all the things that bring STD's into the world. AIDS, after all, is mostly a disease of promiscuity. Most who died of AIDS were throwing themselves at anyone at any time, without even taking the most basic precautions. Cleanliness? Nah. We all remember Miley's caked-over tongue as she paraded around the stage to promote twerking.

Nice of Viley to "break down" the walls regarding being drunk in public. Nice that she is showing the world that if you have money...throw it around, just like your vagina, anywhere and everywhere. $300,000 for some piece of shit PHOTO? Then she tosses $200,000 to even it out...just so that the gays who control the media will stop making fun of her? Money well spent.

I'm not remotely a fan of EITHER of today's white blonde goddesses. Not of their music. Not really, of their looks, either. Taylor's all make-up and fashion. Viley's all trash and vaudeville. At least Taylor Swift makes intelligent choices in everything she does, including allowing the business people to deal with the royalties on her song. Viley? She just throws her money like she waggles her tongue. She's an idiot.

How much money from all these AIDS events actually goes to patients? To research? And how much of it goes to caterers, publicists, party-favors, overpaid employees, and the rest of the gay-gay Ga-Ga people? Quite a racket, they have...they have maniac sluts like Viley encouraging random sex, and then they bitch and moan because the doctor can't cure the sores quick enough for the next round of partying.

Viley is not Swift.

On the Internet there are No Proofreader's...

There's a very nice out of work actor on FARCEBOOK.

Actually, there are thousands of them.

This D-lister, hardly known by name to the average person, has been regaling his very small circle of "friends" with anecdotes from his marginal career. People keep telling him, "oh, these are fascinating" (mostly, no) and "you should put them into a book" (which they wouldn't buy).

After a while, these bursts of egotism, every day or every other day, began to bore me...but I'd sort of skim through in case he was mentioning some D-lister I might care about. The main trouble? His fucking awful punctuation. He seems to have spell-check, but for some insane reason, there isn't an "s" that he doesn't think should be chaperoned by an apostrophe:

The two guys he's mentioned were minor support in sketches on Sonny and Cher's dubious variety show 30 years ago. I've actually heard of them, and even have a comedy album they made (no, I haven't played it recently...say, as long as Kim Kardashian has been alive). I was hoping I'd hear some hilarious story of these two guys falling over something, or accidentally grabbing Cher's tits...but it was just the boring blab anybody would tell after visiting an actual TV studio to see how they videotape a sketch. I just stopped reading when paragraph after paragraph proved dreary, and I had to keep enduring all those plural's...PLURAL's.

The sad thing is that if I left a comment about this, one of his (few) fans would scream, "What are you, the punctuation police?" And he wouldn't change because he's not too literate and way too old to learn anything (he's talking about a marginal duo on a long-gone variety show).

The good news is he doesn't care about shuffling this shit into a book. He's said so. The reason is probably because he wouldn't want to pay the $500 a vanity outfit like Amazon charges to make a reasonably professional looking eBook out of sludge. Add another $500 for the "print on demand" option, in case he wants to drag his ass to memorabilia conventions with his "book."

Christ, there are more than enough Farcebook PESTS who actually have spent money on some dumbass vanity autobiography, or idiotic fiction and insist on "networking" onto every FB group! Have you noticed that these assholes never EVER "like" anything or comment on anything? All they want is for you to BUY their crap. They don't support you. They don't read you. It's I-ME-MINE and if you point that out, they and their relatives get sore.

File this under "amateurs who are lousing up the literary world, and the Internet social media that encourages it."

For a while there, this idiot was taking up my time with "free entertainment" when I could've been reading an actual book that I bought, or magazine. Who subscribes to magazines? Who buys books? Who doesn't read stupid shit on Farcebook instead?

School Janitor? Earn over $100,000 a Year - and be a Peeping Tom

One disgusting/amusing news item today is a local story.

Francis Tracey likes to peep through windows.

Is that news? Not really. One thing about New York City...buildings are thrown up opposite each other and people routinely amuse themselves by looking into other peoples' windows. Often with binoculars. Remember a movie called "Rear Window?"

It's also NOT illegal to do this. While America is called the "United States," and states can vary with their laws, almost no state or city absolutely bans peeping into somebody's window. The rule is you can't be on somebody's property when you do it. You can't loiter at somebody's window sill...but you can take out your binoculars and peep from across the street!

"ANY HOO," to quote a famous Dutch Douche pretending to use an American slang term Americans don't use...

This is a local news story?

Francis Tracey, a substitute janitor, would wander up onto the roof of the school building, and look across at the apartment building where, perhaps, he might see some woman getting dressed.

Somehow somebody saw this, alerted the NY Post, and a juicy story got the FRONT PAGE.

The inference is that if you peep at women in your spare time, you must also be peeping into women's bathrooms and locker rooms, and you must be a child molester, and you can't possibly be anything but a MONSTER.

As if the staff at the NY Post could claim they don't surf porn? As if there are no dirty magazines to be found in the school building or in the desks of any faculty members?

What got MY attention was that a fucking JANITOR...somebody who has NO great education, and doesn't need to know very much except how to lock a lock, oil a hinge, or wash a bathroom stall...is making a fucking SIX FIGURE SALARY.

Talk about WASTE. What bothers me about Francis Tracey isn't that he's peeping...it's that he's BREEDING. Guys like this are making enough of a salary to have a comfortable apartment and raise a few brats. He could have a half-dozen of 'em on that salary. PLUS he has tenure. He has security. Nobody's downloading his music off a forum and ruining his life. Nobody's scabbing him by being a freelance janitor working at a lower price. Nobody's telling him to PAY to be a janitor and make his money selling t-shirts.

When you live in the city (or even in the country) it's your responsibility to pull the shades. It's not against the law to peep.

Should it be against the law to peep? Maybe so. But that would mean the cops and private detectives would have to explain why they're keeping surveillance and training binoculars at somebody's window.

What SHOULD be against the law is overpaid government workers. $100,000 to be a fucking JANITOR? THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO SEE.

Tim Cook the Cocksucker vs Sergey Brin the Bimbo Fucker

Oh, what BIG news out of Silly Con valley. One of the silly conjob CEO's is a cocksucker. At this point, is that news? First off, EVERYONE in Silly Con valley is a cocksucker.

Fags: You've Made Your Point. The whole fucking world is gay. Not just 10%. Everybody. If they aren't outright cocksuckers, they want to be. Here come the troops, marching out of the closet...gays and lesbians marrying their "partners."

We can't stop hearing from BRAVE men who knew as soon as they came out of mama's cunt they NEVER EVER EVER wanted to be near another one. BRAVE women who hate having penis envy and would rather curl up with a good nook...are letting the world know about it. After all, why should the blacks or the Jews be allowed to make people feel guilty over mistreatment? And we have no time for Native Americans at all. It's payback! GAY PRIDE!

Why shouldn't a homo feel PRIDE? PRIDE makes the world go 'round. PROUD to be Irish. Jewish. Black. Hispanic. Asian. Croatian. Whatever. PRIDE means marching in a meaningless parade and then getting rowdy and drunk afterward.

So who is the latest faggot out of the closet? TIM COOK. Hooray for Tim.

How this affects the way Apple products are made by slave labor in China, I don't know.

Why this is important when Steve Jobs ran the company and THIS putz is only going to maintain it or lose sales to Samsung, I don't know.

Why I have to know what this schmuck does in the privacy of his home and not in the office, I don't know either.

Fags are just boisterous that way. How about a REAL minority group? I'm talking about ADULT BABIES. Where's the spokesman for them? Why hasn't a Captain of Industry stepped up to the podium in a huge diaper and said, "I really like to spend the weekend wetting myself."

How about TRANSVESTITES. Oh, you see them in movies all the time...we laugh at anyone in drag. But where's the Prime Minister to say, "This actually IS a lifestyle, and frankly, or Francinely, I'm now going to wear drag wherever I go. I'm PROUD of this."

How about MASOCHISTS? When will Putin step up to a microphone and say, "Sure, I might be a tough bastard in public, but in private, I love being whipped and beaten. What's wrong with that?"

And the answer in all the three cases I've mentioned would be: "What's RIGHT with it?" Look, whatever screw you have that's loose...NOBODY wants to know. Try to be "normal" in public. We also don't need "hints," and that includes Bruce Jenner with his women's hairstyles and femme clothing and sporting fingernail polish.

Whatever happened to "Let's all forget about our differences and work for a common goal?"

It seems that a select few...Blacks, Jews, Gays...are allowed to make spectacles of themselves and remind the world that they're a minority. Not so for a Filipino. A Native American. A shoe fetishist. Why not? You're telling me those three are treated equal? That nobody laughs at a shoe fetishist? That Native Americans weren't pushed to reservations? That a Filipino could walk into a deli and get a job as a waiter? That any of those three could be hired by a gay guy to help run an antiques store??

Should some JEW baseball player insist on wearing Chasidic garb and not a uniform like everyone else? Should a Muslim football player refuse to wear a helmet and instead put on a crocheted skullcap? Good, go ahead, get your brains scrambled even more.

Why is there such discrimination among minorities? If you look at it, Blacks, Jews and Gays are MUCH better off than Native Americans. Native Americans are stuck on reservations. They are poor. They are stereotyped. You can't name a famous one except Tonto. Gays, Jews and Blacks protect their own. They can thrive in certain industries. Certain industries are dominated by them. The world has no greater problem than fags and dykes marrying each other? How about pollution? War? How about legalizing pot so that nobody would really care WHAT these idiots do?

What's this BULLSHIT about giving a "powerful speech" about being gay? Oh, you're GAY so you know what it's like to be a Jew? A Black? Not unless you're a Black Gay Jew!

He's "proud" to be gay. Christ, it's time people have a little humility. There's nothing to be proud of. It's either a quirk you were born with, or you had a fucked up childhood. Probably the latter...because you really don't see too many five-year-old boys wearing dresses or trying to kiss other boys, or walking around with a limp wrist and owning Barry Manilow albums. No, it's after puberty that they decide they want to be stereotypical.

Thanks. Well, the answer for Tim Cook is that while there are plenty of homo singers and actors and dress designers, it's important that we have more CEOs coming out, and more politicians. Let's make sure there are enough role models so that any fag can realize "I can be anything..." except straight.

Now, what about Sergey Brin, Google's prime creep? He had an affair with a 20-something and that broke up his marriage.

How about he give a speech: "I'm PROUD to be a lecher...I'm PROUD to fuck some chick at the office...I'm PROUD of my ability to cheat and have sex outside my marriage."

What? Nothing to be proud of? WHY NOT??? Why should guys like Brin feel...GUILTY...or STRANGE...or QUEER? Why can't they feel as GOOD about themselves as Tim Cooksucker?

See what I did?

Some forms of sexual perversion we should feel guilty about, and others we should feel PRIDE about? I don't quite think so. I wonder if Tim Cooksucker is going to relax the dress code over at Apple, so that Adult Babies and Transvestites and S&M fans can dress like it's fucking Halloween EVERY DAY so they can feel GOOD about themselves. Come on, Tim, it's all about...PRIDE.

$250 A Fringe - Squeezing the Orange County Rip-Off

One of the oys...I mean, joys...of Farcebook, is how idiot "friends" post their LOCAL events.

Hey everyone, if you happen to be in the middle of nowhere, come to our dirndl-designing contest. Hey, I'm the local talent in a county of no talent, so cheer me on as I sing "Ave Maria" in church this sunday. Hey, there's going to be a bake sale benefitting Zab DeHansy, who needs a new leafblower. Come get a slab of deep-fried Twinkies.

So, one of these fucking California narcissists spread the word about how we should drive to fucking Orange County and participate in a "Fringe" festival. And guess what...all you have to do is PAY to PLAY.

I don't even have to go any further do I? This is just one of the scams people can perpetrate...so that egomaniacs can enjoy a few moments of fame. The maggot eats off the dead-head.

Coincidentally, I got word that one of my relatives got an "award," and she'll be presented with it at a "banquet" at an honest-to-goodness "banquet hall" in a hotel. Wheee! I think you can guess the fine print. FORTY-SEVEN other people are ALSO getting "awards." And to have the thrill of seeing your loved one step up to the podium to get it...or whatever the fuck they're gonna do...you can reserve a seat at a banquet table...for SIXTY BUCKS. But that does entitle you to a brunch of some kind. But basically the organizers, after the catering and rental of the hall, will be walking away with THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for this bogus "award" event. And everyone goes home happy.

So it'll be with this bullshit "Fringe" show, the idea stolen, of course. Some obscure idiot will pay $50 just to be considered, then $250 to actually get five minutes on stage...and will forever have bragging rights to people who have no idea what a whorish event it really was. The next question will be, "So...now that you have this ORANGE COUNTY FRINGE credit...what will you be doing next?"

Keeping the day job.

Viley and Revolting-ana Show their Tits for AIDS fans

Ebola? In case you don't know, GAYS still are fighting AIDS.

That's....Gayyyyyyyyyyyyys fighting AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDs. So pay attention. The war for anal sex has not yet been won.

And look who showed up, SO concerned about fag sex? Yes, our favorite media whores...who know that their outrageously cartoonish view of females is much appreciated by drag queens and woman-hating gays everywhere:

Do you suppose the limp-wrists of AMFARCE thought, for a moment, "Hey, you two are dressed inappropriately?"

OF course not. Camp is camp. And silly bitches with their awful-awful BREASTS showing...ha ha ha ha ha.

Compare their outfits to what two normally tasteless tarts were wearing. I refer to the trainwreck cunt Kelly Osbourne, and the useless faux-B&D tattoo and fashion quease, Dita Von Teese.

These useless clods (and a half dozen other B-listers) didn't have to dress trashy or ultra-stupid.

The BIG news today, is not AIDS, it's EBOLA, specifically, some cunt in Maine who has defied the quarantine and stated that her "human rights" have been violated. Just because she's a nurse, she declares, NOBODY, especially the fucking GOVERNMENT, has the right to quarantine her for 15 days to make sure she's not Typhoid Mary. She's not only gone on bike rides and flaunted herself with her boyfriend, she's held press conferences and declared that if she's quarantined by force, she'll SUE.

You tell 'em, bitch. Maybe you were lucky and you lived among the monkeys and didn't even get so much as a banana stain on the sole of your shoe. So go ahead, send a message to everybody that Ebola is just a fucking joke, and while the number of cases keeps rising...let's NOT take precautions.

"Hey, Prince Prospero...why not come to Monkey Central and tour the ward where they're sneezing, coughing and vomiting. What's to lose? Why try to hide from fate???"

Back to AIDS. At this point...if you're stupid enough to get AIDS, you're stupid. Goodbye.

A very good friend of mine died of AIDS. Why? Nobody heard of it, that's why. He was a fucking pioneer. So were several of his friends. They were writers. Opera singers. Pianists. They should not have died...spending their last months in a desperate search for some kind of cure as they wasted away from cancer and other diseases.

Had they known there was a sexually transmitted disease that could be fatal...they would've taken precautions. Now? Now AIDS is the same as lung cancer. You want to be a fuckhead and smoke cigarettes, that's your problem. You want to have unprotected sex with six monkeys in a toilet somewhere, that's your problem. It's oh so nice that Viley Virus, a leader in urging people to do whatever they want, including miming anal and oral sex on stage. Then she goes off to a media-whore event and pretends to care about AIDS? Watta hypocritter.

Football Fuckhead Paul Kitterman - Asshole or Moron

One reason there's apathy in the world...is because there are morons. And assholes.

Paul Kitterman, after a day of fun and "hunting," showed up at a Denver Broncos football game with his STEPSON and a couple of other shits. Then he disappeared.

This was national news: "Guy disappears during football game!"

Where was he? Dead and stuffed in the rafters? Fallen down an elevator shaft? Trapped in some obscure location, like under the escalator? WHERE the FUCK is he?

You know the newspapers. They LOVE a mystery. They LOVE a missing persons story. This IS entertainment.

FIVE FUCKING DAYS: "Where is he? If you see him, let us know!"

Then he turns up 130 miles away, having a snack outside a store.

How did he get there? How did he spend his days and nights?

The answer from the family: "Respect our privacy."

The answer from the cops: "Talk to the family. We did our job. He's back where he belongs."

So far, the only thing anyone knows is the asshole muttered that he was "tired" of watching football and wanted to go "someplace warm."

He's not retarded. Not an alcoholic. Just WHAT he is, we may never know. "Respect our privacy."

The family has, of course, a FARCEBOOK page, where they were whining and moaning about their beloved Paul and demanding the entire country help find him.

Now? "RESPECT OUR PRIVACY."

And this is why people mostly shrug about the average news story, especially a "missing person" deal. The odds are the person is rotting in the ground, or will turn up. Why should we give a damn? Especially if all we'll get is "Respect our privacy."

Too embarrassed to tell the world he's a moron? A dimwit gone senile? We'd understand. We'd sympathize. We'd accept YOUR APOLOGY if you wanted to give one for wasting our time because you didn't supervise the prick.

Instead: "Respect OUR PRIVACY."

How about this: if your moron goes missing, respect OUR privacy and don't cry to us about it.

Christ.

Know what? Too bad he's still around. He seems to LOVE killing animals. He seems to be a totally useless beer-guzzling redneck asshole. One less white nigger on the planet...maybe he'll get into a fatal car accident, or just sit on the toilet, fall in, and DROWN.

Here's a useless waste of everyone's time. Big fat stupid redneck piece of trash.

Update...October 30th, and the family is now claiming that he's "fragile," and can't talk to anyone (despite being perfectly fine when he was found). It's sad if the truth is this guy suffered a "nervous breakdown," which somehow involved sleeping in the woods for five days and having leisurely meals and not bothering to let anyone know he was ok. But there's the media...blowing up a story, then tossing it away. Maybe in another week this guy will have his 15 minutes of fame talking to Barbara Walters on TV? Being the poster boy for redneck animal-killers and beer-drinking football fans who have a sensitive side? Maybe by that time nobody will care.

Oh What Fun: Downloading ADOBE FLASH TEN TIMES A DAY

Isn't it INSANE that the entire fucking Internet is run by ADOBE FLASH?

Why does ONE FUCKING COMPANY have this much power?

What's next? They start charging $10 a month?

How many fucking times do you have to DOWNLOAD THE LATEST VERSION of this fucking program...EVEN if you've ticked every fucking box for "AUTOMATIC UPDATES?"

Why haven't I heard on the news that the CEO of ADOBE FLASH was beaten up and thrown into a river and drowned?

One thing you have to say for Hitler's spawn, GOOGLE...the search engine is always up and working. You can always find your illegal downloads and your porn. Like Mussolini and his trains, Czar Brin and his Fascist mob know how to keep something working.

Not so with ADOBE FLASH.

In a related story, APPLE is having a "BLOCKED PLUGIN" war with YouTube. Their SAFARI browser will NOT play YouTube. You can spend your life going from forum to forum, asking WHY, asking HOW TO FIX THIS, and you'll get a variety of dunderheads giving you the wrong information, or dangerous "fixes" that could screw up your computer forever.

Know what I say? MORE! BRING IT ON! Let's have MORE of the MORON GAMES. If that's what it takes to get people OFF the fucking Internet...I say MORE!

Maybe it'll be the fucking MODEM that never lights up, and constantly flickers off, requiring constant phone calls to Gunga Douchebag in India, who sing-songs an hour's worth of stupid shit. (This always includes "Unplug it...let's wait 20 minutes.."

Maybe it'll be identity theft. Wifi blown out. A cable not working that requires a visit from a moron scheduled for next week sometime. How about another high-profile hack of Ebay or Target or somebody else that has your credit card information? Hackers bragging they've got everyone's passwords.

BRING IT ON. We've become reliant on slender threads of wires, and invisible "wireless" connections that anyone can intercept. The entire fucking world can be brought to a stand-still just by ADOBE FLASH deciding to play more of their wonky games.

And always, the low muttering is: "I don't have that problem with my browser. I have GOOGLE chrome which works great with GOOGLE's YouTube. I use GOOGLE payments for my GOOGLE glasses and everything else GOOGLE makes..."

Maybe it's GOOGLE fucking up everything so people rush to the shelter of their arms? The ones that will soon have an armband with a Swastika on it?

When Your Daughter Becomes a Monkey-Slut

Considering the odds, it's pretty brave of anyone to have kids.

First off, even 20 years ago, dopey Charles Jordan had to realize that his kid would grow up in a polluted, violent world. Now, it's even more obvious that a child born TODAY is going to be facing pure hell by 21.

Maybe the operative word IS "dopey." Charles Jordan looks like a moron.

Then again, his daughter looks like a slut.

The third man in the picture...is no longer in the picture.

At best, dopey Charles Jordan began to realize that in this age of sexualization and selfies, NO WAY was his 20 year-old daughter NOT going to be fucking around. Now, considering he's low-life trash himself, what kind of guy would his daughter be looking for...in a world that idolizes the Kardashians and promotes their lifestyle?

Well, it's not going to be a white guy with a good job. It's more likely to be a creepy gorilla-faced cretin. And what a nice match they'd be...a pouty slut who looks 30, sporting a tattoo above her tit...and a monkey.

She couldn't go to his place to monkey around? He probably lived on the street. A real turn-on for white trash. So she invites him to her place. Only Daddy doesn't exactly trust his daughter.

The happy ending for this slut is that she'll testify that he killed her monkey, and that she warned him not to do it. Daddy goes to jail, daughter has the WHOLE APARTMENT in which to play out all her Kim Kardashian fantasies of sex with rappers and football players and gruesome looking apes. Daddy's claim that this was a burglar...nah. The police, the judge, they'll all tell you: "If a monkey is in your apartment, simply leave and call the police. The monkey has rights, and if they monkey runs away, at least the monkey is gone. Win-win."

Could this have happened pre-Internet? Pre-Kardashian. Perhaps. But social media and "entertainment" today is telling girls, "be slutty, take selfies, get tattoos, and find minorities to fuck."

That's just the way it is in the 21st Century. Any wonder there probably won't be a 22nd?

Pussy Peeks: KESHA and TAYLOR SWIFT

It's possible...it's POSSIBLE...to not be a total slut moron. Not easy, but possible.

Who proves that? Taylor Swift does, among a few (very few) others. I'm not into her music (why should I be?) and her videos are very cute IF you're in high school, but the girl handles herself with class.

She ain't Viley Virus. She's also not this idiot Kesha...who started out totally slutty and moronic, and has calmed down a bit...but not to the point of wearing underwear.

I was talking to a guy my age, who had a son, and he said, "Face it, teenagers now...nudity is no big deal. Sex isn't a big deal either, like it was for us." I suppose that includes "wardrobe malfunctions," and see-through blouses and going around without underpants. Big deal. Tits. Vulgarity. By the time a kid is old enough to go to the movies...there it all is, R-rated movies can't be without it. Vagina? Sure...the moment a kid gets on the Internet, it's almost impossible NOT to see porn, and after a while, figure, yeah, so what, what's the big deal, why hide it?

As we see, too much of, with Viley Virus, and all these idiot "actresses" posing naked and not caring that this stuff is easy to hack...everybody's letting it show.

EXCEPT, Taylor Swift.

She recently was declared some kind of "ambassador" for New York. She did some photoshoots around town, posing at famous places, going to Central Park, buying books in a local store...and walking down the street with her cat. SHE didn't expose her pussy doing it. And yet, the fucking Daily News had to find some stupid, whining remark to make. Sure, they showed the pix, but they had to bitch about it:

Right, let's twist any story to make it more controversial. The woman is doing a nice thing. You have to whine that she's got a cat in her arms while a lot of New York bitches prefer tea-cup yappy little dogs? FUCK YOU, Daily News. What you really wanted was a picture of Taylor Swift in a see-through blouse and her actual pussy exposed by a tiny skirt riding up past her thighs. Too bad...not EVERYBODY in the world is low class.

EBOLA can get you: "Air-Borne Again, Naturally"

According to the "natural news" website, EBOLA can indeed be transmitted through a sneeze or a cough. Some monkey comes over and sneezes in your face...and it gets in your eyes or up your nose or in your mouth...mmmm, you JUST might end up in the hospital. Or six feet under.

It's nice to know, isn't it, that the entire world is afraid to say "QUARANTINE THE FUCKING AFRICANS." No no, that's not politically correct. Let's wait till it's too fucking late.

"In a little while from now....
With ebola cherries gone sour
You'll be wondering "Please," how'd I get diseased,
And go to a nearby tower.

And after one cough. You will throw yourself off...

Need I continue to sing? Not even the chorus? "Air-Borne Again...NATURALLY...."

Meanwhile in another part of the web, I read that overpopulation has doomed us and that even if there was a massive Ebola outbreak, it wouldn't make a dent in the relentless explosion of stupid people on the planet. The predominant race of morons will overwhelm all resources...so it won't matter who gets beheaded by Muslim bastards, who die of Ebola, who get shot and killed by 15 year-olds in school, and who just get into an old fashioned drunk driving accident.

Oh, ten years from now...how many cities will be in the midst of cleaning up from hurricanes or other natural disasters?

Ten years from now, will our Canadian Canuck-Nyuk Dale STILL be on Indie-go demanding $6,000 so he can write a book on SHEMP? One that answers the question on whether a quiz show host named Alex Trebek really felt Shemp was his favorite stooge?

Nah, I think ten years from now Dale will be in a watery grave thank to a melted glacier drowning half of Canada.

Twenty or thirty years from now? How many fresh fish will be in the ocean? How much natural food will be left? How many people will be eating synthetics guaranteed to produce cancer?

By 2050, anyone think life on this planet will be worth living? There will be rape and drugs and hedonism galore and nobody will know who The Beatles were. Or Bogie and Bacall. Or Spike Milligan or Laurel & Hardy.

Ain't it grand we'll be bloody well dead?

That's the good news of the day.

Chip on Dale - Delusional Shemp Schmuck

So, how's it going, Dale...the Canadian clod with that BIG CHIP on your shoulder?

Not so good. Nowhere near the SIX THOUSAND you want to write a fucking book on SHEMP?

Is this surprising? Maybe to an egomaniac. Look at what exciting research he plans on doing for donation money:

Wowee. He's gonna write a letter to Alex Trebek to ask if Shemp is REALLY Alex's favorite stooge??

What do we do with THAT useless bit of information?

This fool is also trying to determine, for the record if Patsy Kelly was Shemp's favorite actress.

THE WORLD CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS IMPORTANT INFORMATION! It's almost like a cure for Ebola.

Except...it's not even a cure for BORING.

Who wouldn't fall asleep trying to read any amateur's self-published book?

An interesting point with Indiego-fuck-yourself is that, unlike Kickstarter, a greedhead can work it so that he can KEEP any money donated. That's right. He doesn't have to finish the project. Doesn't have to do anything. He's got YOUR money, chump.

But...in this age of identity theft and Internet games, who can be sure the measly FOUR people who donated to this egomaniacal moron's campaign aren't HIM, HIM, HIM and his boyfriend?

Ah, the joy of "flexible funding," just another word for SCAM.

But what do you expect from a smirking piece of shit who loves to wear a fucking BERET and SUNGLASSES?

Yeah, sunglasses...from a douchebag who lives in Canada...gotta need sunglasses while peeping at all those beach beauties lounging in the hot sun all day. "Pssst, ladies, I'm an AUTHOR...I'm working on a book on SHEMP...I will definitively let everyone know if Shemp liked Fred Allen or not! PS...if I choose not to bother with this stupid shit, I have a couple of hundred in my pocket from donations. You ladies want to be my guest at Olive Garden? Heh heh heh?

This is social media...a clueless crapload pesters the world with tweeting and twatting and bawling and calling attention to himself. Did I mention he's deeply involved in show biz? He has a YOUTUBE channel. He's another Sir Lew Grade, this fellow. Look, he got a couple of dozen HITS when he pulled out a camcorder and took video at some obscure event in Canada!

You think Mr. Smug is proud of himself? You bet he is. He may not have any talent, or at this point anything but chump change for his Shemp shit...but he's got ALL the nerve, from the tips of his untalented fingers to the pointy head under his oh-so-hep beret. Hep Hep, Beret! Hep Hep, Beret! And a big GO FUCK YOURSELF, Dale. I truly hope you have a heart attack and drop the fuck DEAD.

Fat little pig "Honey Boo Boo" and her disgusting whore mother

No, I never EVER watched even a second of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" or whatever that sick "reality" show was called.

That it was a hit show for several years, and almost everyone in America knows who this disgusting fat little piglet is...tells you what "entertainment" is all about these days.

Mainstream newspapers don't even have to explain this shit. We're ALL supposed to know who that fat slob "Mama June" is, and her inbred piece-of-shit partner in slime, "Sugar Bear."

Nauseating, isn't it? This is entertainment? Looking at redneck mutants?

Eventually, as per Darwin's theory, evolution takes over. Something will happen. It could be murder (the death of the sexualized child Jon-Benet Ramsey, a regular at under-age beauty pageants). Or it could be going a bit too far...as in this case, where that cheese loaf with eyes, "Mama June," left her "Sugar Bear" (a man only Tod Browning could really love) for a pedophile. Finally, that was enough to get her show tossed off the air.

The lesson, though, remains: appeal to the lowest common denominator and you get a reality show. There are big ratings involved...among those fascinated with people you'd avoid if you saw them walking towards you on the street.

Psycho Jaylen Fryberg - 14 is the new 21?

Some kid named Jaylen shoots up his school. News? Not really, it's now almost a daily event.

Take a look at the headline below. Notice what's MISSING?

American news reporting is very blase about this shit. Seen it too often. The reports no longer even editorialize about gun control. After all, we already had an entire school of little kids blasted, and nothing changed. The headlines blazed. Now? Now the newspapers realize it's futile. So they report school shootings as they would ordinary car accidents.

In fact I hardly glanced at the latest story...till I noticed a photo...a pouty-lipped girl posing for her SELFIE.

And again, look at the story. What, about her, is MISSING from the headline?

What's missing in the headline?

Her age. FOURTEEN.

This girl was just FOURTEEN.

That's not an outrage? Not anymore.

Where were Zoe's parents? Her teachers? Isn't it SLIGHTLY inappropriate for a 14 year-old girl, presumably a virgin, to be pouting and posing all over social media wearing make-up more suited to someone 18 or 21?

Jaylen (15 years old) wanted Zoe (it's "boy meets girl" only with more freakish 21st Century names). Girl didn't want boy. So...boy shoots up the fucking cafeteria table where the girl, her friends, and his cousin sat eating lunch. Of course.

The kid turns out to be an Indian (ah, "Native American") but really, ANY fucking 15 year-old kid in America poses with a RIFLE on social media. White trash. Southern redneck. Autistic Massachusetts nutjob. It doesn't matter. They ALL have weapons to show off. The kid used a handgun to kill two girls and maim three others...a gun owned by his daddy...a proud member of the Tulalip tribe.

I'm not making that up. In Seattle somewhere, you can tiptoe with the Tulalips...a bunch who, like Native Americans in other parts of this great country, have been allowed to turn their reservations into gambling casinos. Nice. Nothing says dignity like a gambling casino, and the related whores and drug pushers who hang with the gamblers.

So a 14 year-old girl dresses like a little whore, a 15 year-old boy poses like a little psychopath...and the media doesn't even remark on this! This is now the norm. Of COURSE 14 year-old girls sexualize themselves in public...OF COURSE teenage boys should own rifles and have easy access to Daddy's pistols.

Check out Psycho-face posing with his rifle. THIS IS AMERICA, folks. Barely past puberty, teens are all over social media...posing for instagram shots when they should be quiet, humble, and not so cocky about knowing everything there is to know in the world.

At this point in the sad story, I began to realize what's wrong with this fucking country.

FOURTEEN IS THE NEW TWENTY-ONE.

This is the way a virgin is supposed to look? This is how she presents herself on instagram or Facebook or wherever this shot came from??

Thanks to the Internet, and to the loosened morality that says "it's ALL good," kids who should be content with board games and favorite TV and music stars, and playing sports...have leap-frogged over violent video games to the "adulthood" of knowing all about porn and guns. They have seen more violence than General Patton.

But they are still kids. Stupid stupid stupid KIDS. So one of them prances around like she's a porn star, pushing her boobs up in a tight blouse...and another goes nuts with a rifle — because he's got access to one, and he's seen it in the news day after day: THIS is how you solve your problems...you go out in a blaze of "glory."

Really, check out the photo below...this 14 year-old girl's exposing cleavage? This DEAD 14 year-old girl.

14? Her parents should've been saying to her, "cover up...don't be so proud you look 16 or 18...you're NOT 16 or 18." No. She wasn't. She was 14 going on 21.

Remember when rock songs barely mentioned a girl if she was jail bait? Songs about "Sweet Sixteen" actually WERE about being sweet...virginal...puppy love...a first kiss...

Jaylen, at 15, already knew all he needed to know about girls. That's why he shot three of them. The one on the right is clinging to life, and if she lives, might be little more than a vegetable. The one on the left died today. But look at their photos. Do THEY look 14? Are they posing like little girls or like confident porn stars checking themselves out before a photo shoot?

Incredible, isn't it? THOSE are 14 year-old girls. Their parents don't mind that they tarted themselves up. Hell, Zoe's parents didn't mind the nose ring. How many of the three were on birth control, bought condoms, or were counting down the days before they'd go beyond oral sex, or whatever the hell they were up to?

Go back a generation, a generation before the Internet, and you'll remember what 14 was really like. It was barely a time of sexual awakening and puberty. What there was of that, was giggly and innocent...a copy of a magazine with BOOBIES...a paperback with something or other about "their bodies united..."

Today's 14 year-olds have seen it all, every graphic bit of it. They are being robbed of their innocence, and they are being robbed of their lives.

Lastly, you have to ask, again, WHERE were Zoe's parents. When you were 14, did your parents tell you that you could do anything you pleased, not be supervised, and...that using curse words was ok, too? This is the very last tweet from Zoe:

A little masterpiece. Did you notice how many times it was "favorited" and "re-Tweeted?" Do you even want to know who those people were and why they thought that was such a great line?

Goodbye, Zoe. You said it: "there's a million other things I'd rather fuckin do."

Too late.

Uplifting? My ass! And yours? Negroid Butt Entertainment

"Fashion" now dictates that everyone has to have a Negroid rear end.

Somehow, the callipygian look, once considered quite primitive, is IN.

You are expected to walk around entertaining people with how you dress, and most certainly, where you bulge!

Yet another lingerie catalog arrived in the mail, which is always worth perusing...butt, I noticed several more pages devoted to BBS (Bertha Butt Syndrome).

It used to be that women had to be obsessed with their BOSOMS but now, it's balanced out...they ALSO have to be concerned with what's trailing behind.

"OK, that's YOUR problem," I thought, referencing ye tender ladies who wish to be another Kim Kardashian gorilla-ass.

BUTT...

Toward the back of the catalog there were some items for men, and...WHAT?

Guys, it's time for BAP...Big Ass Paranoia.

Ah ha ha ha...it used to be that guys had to be obsessed with their PENIS DIMENSION, but now, it's balanced out...they ALSO have to be concerned with the FLIP SIDE. Is yo' ass as BIG as a Negro ass, yo??

Sorry about the focus. In my surprise and dismay at the White Man's Burden of having a gigantic jutting shelf of ass fat...I couldn't quite bear to look for more than a few seconds. But you get the idea. YOU (unless you are black) are supposed to buy SPECIAL UNDERWEAR that you can insert PADS into. Or derby hats. Or live raccoons.

So, about $50 (underpants and pads) SHOULD help the inferiority complex you didn't know you should have, but now have.

Charles Barkley: "If you're not a thug or an idiot You're NOT BLACK ENOUGH"

SWISH! Charles Barkley scores a big one.

The retired basketball star declared, "If you're not a thug or an idiot, you're not black enough. If you go to school, make good grades, speak intelligent, and don't break the law, you're not a good black person..."

"There are a lot of black people who are unintelligent, who don't have success. It's best to knock a successful black person down...it's just typical BS..."

Indeed, just last week, a mediocre stand-up comic, unknown anywhere except maybe Philadelphia, got up in front of his homeys and began ripping at Bill Cosby. Cosby...intelligent, successful...has openly criticized "black culture" and the image of the nigga...the thug with the pants halfway down and the spastic hand signals and the tough-guy grimaces.

Barkley is right, of course. As was Spike Milligan ("Stir up mediocrity and you stir up venom.") It's easier for a low class monkey bastard to stomp around his neighborhood being anti-social than to sit in a chair and concentrate on learning the rudimentary things that could make him even a high school graduate.

Naturally the blacklash has been on Barkley for daring to be such a spoil-sport. He's ruining the fun of being a stereotypical gangsta. If you say that the gangsta is just a dumb nigga...that's puttin' him down, yo. Let's not deny the obvious...certain ethnics LOVE a tough image. Most Italians seem to LOVE the idea that if they say their last name in conjures up the Mafia and makes people circumspect. Turks, Arabs...they also like the idea that their people are known for savagery, not intellect or peace.

On the reverse, you have whites who are afraid to even get up and dance: "I'm white, I can't dance." Forget about Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly or Edward Vilella...that's old school. You have the Jews...saying "I'm Jewish" as almost a straight line for some kind of apology or self-effacing joke. And in the middle, there's, oh, that song, "Sure we're Irish, and proud of it, too..." indicating that another word and you'll get a whack with a shellelagh.

Sad to say, these days there's not a color nor ethnicity that can't provoke some kind of stereotype image. Blacks have a LONG way to go, because it's quite true...people just don't expect to see a black man in a suit and tie...guys like Obama are viewed with suspicion and derision...like, is he a faker, or does he eat that watermelon and fried chicken in secret? If it's Cosby or Jesse Jackson there's a probing for scandal, as if being well-dressed is a con. If it's Charles Barkley or Magic Johnson or Muhammad Ali or any other black athlete...that's ok because people know them by their boxer shorts or sports uniforms and know this is just "dress up" for a special event.

And it's true...for one reason or another, some of the worst racism will come from your own race.

Senile Sugar Daddy PAUL ARONSON Pays for Monkeyshines

Oh, you gotta love the INTERNET and SOCIAL MEDIA and TECHNOLOGY.

Edging out the cop who stole nudie pix of drunken girls that he found on their cell phones, I'll headline THIS as today's prime story of stupidity:

Thank you, Sugar Daddy Dot Com, or Tinder-Brain or Fuckmeet or whatever site it was...for helping create this amusing story.

Isn't it nice that an 85 year-old can figure out how to use a computer, dial up a whore website, and make a fucking fool out of himself? He probably has a FARCEBOOK account with all kinds of idiot pix of himself...and his neighbors must be doubled over laughing at him. Along with thousands of complete strangers.

This guy's 85. He's horny? Jeez, he's got morning wood and he's hard all day long and he's gotta find TWO women? I like the part where he ordered up twins. It didn't matter how monkey-like they were. All they needed was to be female...and in New York it's illegal to go to a pet store and buy chimps.

And...this old bastard was a LAWYER. That's the missing cherry (don't expect one on either of the 17 year-old sluts he paid for) on the cake.

YEAH, INTERNET! How lovely that it makes it easy to pick up underage girls.

YEAH, INTERNET! How lovely that underage girls can easily make extra money, apparently legally, just by stripping and parading around in front of an old fart. What did these girls' mama have to say? Step-daddy? How many other brothers and sisters do these girls have? These depraved chicks could've made a fortune off this dumb old bastard, but they had to be stupid and tie him up and rob him?

Oh, speaking of dumb, how stupid are COPS when they end up getting caught passing photos of sluts around?

You can Google the whole story yourself if you want to, but briefly noted:

California Highway Patrol officer Sean Harrington, a horny 35 year-old, had a hobby of rifling through the cell phones of drunken sluts he arrested. Hunting for nude photos...and FINDING THEM...he'd happily share the prizes with his fellow pigs. Er, officers. He did this "at least six times" before getting caught. What a moron. What a hobby.

But that's technology...stupid girls can't help posing naked AND keeping this stuff on their cell phones for easy hacking, easy sharing...easy identity theft and permanent humiliation. "Gosh, I left my cell phone on the table at the restaurant...oh, they returned it to me...oh, now I'm getting obscene phone calls...and my naked pix are on Tumblr." The good news is stupid sluts like that have no shame, and don't care all that much who sees their naked photos.

Hey drunken sluts, hoist your photos to a SUGAR DADDY dot com, and wait for some senile lawyer to pay you to pose in person for him!

Captured by ISIS and Raped 30 Times Before Lunch

What do you do before lunch? Get raped 30 times by camel-breath Muslim monsters?

Or do you simply drink a cup of coffee...with a grain of salt?

The trouble with the Internet is there are so many bogus websites, so much bad reporting, that you can't be sure what's true, false or spin. How about this?

Somehow a woman kept prisoner by the fearsome ISIS bastards managed to contact "a friend." This "friend" then told somebody or other that the woman was being held captive in a brothel and constantly raped.

As Jack Palance, the TV host, used to say on his program..."Believe it, OR NOT."

One thing is certain, and it's that religious fundamentalists are frauds. They are secret homosexuals. They are kinky bastards. They do like Brigham Young and keep dozens of wives but don't let wives have dozens of husbands. They pay for whores. And in the case of ISIS there's no doubt that women are kidnapped. It goes on, after all, in London in broad daylight, with Pakistani white slavers. (But, Prime Minister Camoron, let's have MORE immigrants that can't be controlled!)

Religion has a nasty habit of creating "Chosen People" over everyone else. The difference, if you look through history, is that the original "Chosen People," the Jews, have not been known for Inquisition, Rape, Terrorism, or other fiendish games. Now, we see the Muslims taking over #1 position when it comes to exploiting women.

It's well known, and deliberately overlooked (ex-President Carter even admitted it about himself) that Muslims routinely circumcise women, mutilate their genitals to eliminate pleasure for them, and use them as nothing but sex dolls.

That ISIS might raise money by throwing women into brothels...well, Muslims have a tradition in the drug trade, too, and in making deals with pointy-nosed homo slimeballs like Putin. They also don't think it's against their religion to commit any type of fraud, identity theft or illegal activity to get money into their bank account. They might even be behind the various lovely torrents that make money by stealing music and movies and offering porn.

Religion...does it do more harm than good? Are there enough "good" Muslims, terrified of Allah, keeping themselves as straight as possible...that it balances the ones who kill and whore and traffic in drugs? Right now, it's crazed followers of Islam...a RELIGIOUS GROUP called ISIS, that is responsible for more chaos and horror in the world at this moment than natural disasters, Communist countries or Bat-Shit-eating West Africans.

PIERS MORGAN on EBOLA in New York: RIGHT AGAIN!

From what I've seen and read, Piers Morgan is right far more often than he's wrong.

The trouble, as Spike Milligan used to say, is "Brush up mediocrity and you brush up venom." Morgan doesn't have a great deal of humility. People know he's smart. His air of superiority, ever since he was a TV show judge, has made him the "ogre" people love to hate.

But he's certainly right about the idiotic behavior of Dr. Spencer, and the foolishness of the capybara who is mayor of New York, the grotesquely stubborn and stupid Bill De Blasio.

Morgan writes:

"It almost defies belief that any qualified doctor could fly back to America after treating Ebola patients in West Africa and promptly insert himself straight back into New York’s streets like he’s been to Hawaii on vacation.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, just days after returning from Guinea, and feeling ‘fatigued’, Dr Spencer jogged for three miles around Harlem, used an Uber cab, took the subway, ate in a restaurant, and went bowling. Yesterday, he woke up with a fever, admitted himself to hospital and tested positive for Ebola.

It’s hard to conjure up a more outrageous breach of supposed health care ‘protocol’, isn’t it? Particularly by a leading health care practitioner.

Yet last night, in one of the most bizarre and unsettling public health press conferences I’ve ever watched, New York’s top officials congratulated themselves on a job well done..."‘Everything’s fine, no risk to anyone, we’ve had weeks to prepare, protocols all observed, nothing to see here folks, keep calm and carry on, high fives all round.’ Really?"

Really! You know it, Piers, you've lived and worked in New York City...you know the kind of do-nothing corrupt pig that Mayor De Blasio is...the one who instantly got a job for his wife, instantly pushed his kids into the spotlight like they were little superstars. De Blasio has done nothing but watch the crime rate soar.

The only thing Morgan failed to mention, which happened after he wrote his article, is that Governor Cuomo of New York and Governor Christie of New Jersey announced actual quarantine rules on idiot doctors and irresponsible ignorant monkeys coming in from Africa. Finally, they're taking action. Maybe we should all thank smug Dr. Spencer for bringing the lone case of Ebola into New York City...as the sweeping new rule includes doctors as well as any African. Could it have passed if it was only aimed at poor, adorable BLACK people? Nope.

Finish it up, Piers:

In case you haven't seen De Blasio before...now you know. He's "freakishly tall" as David Letterman likes to say. 6'6" --and he has the blocky square head of a capybara, the world's largest rodent. He almost has a capybara's intelligence. He's a hack who licked the ass of the incompetent black mayor David Dinkins (years ago), got a do-nothing job as "public advocate" (he did nothing...anyone contacting that office hoping for even buck-passing was ignored) and luckily won because he paraded his black wife and brats (assuring a landslide among black and Latino voters) and faced a dull, lisping Republican candidate whose lone credential was that he ran the subway system.

Now that the center for all media in America, New York City, has been hit, and is supposedly being protected via quarantine (and the happy fact that there are no direct flights from Bat-shit Central to NYC) the newspapers can go easier on the Ebola panic. Time to go back to covering the daily school shooting (really), any interesting rapes or muggings, and the misc. violent act of terror (some nut with a hatchet tried to hack two cops). Also, of course, the papers can't resist whatever sleazy celebrity news might come oozing forward. Today it's "Mama June" going out with a sex offender. She's the hideously obese chunk of trailer trash who spawned fat-faced little monster Honey Boo Boo and a reality show that hillbillies and rednecks turned into a s(hit).

Is EBOLA contagious? No it's snot

Who has MORE fun than readers of the daily paper?

Entertainment is reading scary shit about the latest rapes, murders and diseases.

If the media goes too far, they do a "let's not panic" report...

Har har hardy har har, everyone!

Ho ho ha ha hee hee.

YOU silly people who think you can catch it just from breathing...WHAT FOOLS YOU MORTALS BE.

It's so...UNLIKELY.

Although you did notice the part about maybe getting it off a fucking bowling ball if the guy's snot got into the hole in the ball, YOU used the ball, and then stuck your finger in your "mucus membranes."

UNLIKELY isn't the same as NO.

But in this very biased and racist world, we can't say "the less blacks emigrating with EBOLA the better," or "it makes sense to control this by quarantine and travel restriction...if people can't be sure who has it and when symptoms will show."

I say biased and racist, because the plain fact is that if Jews had it, Israel would have a fence around it. Same if EBOLA began in Thailand or Madagascar or Monaco. But since it happened in Africa, people are afraid to seem racist. They also don't want blacks to start rioting as they are prone to do. They'll riot anywhere and point halfway across the world as an excuse. "I'm taking this TV set...a kid got shot in St. Louis. I'm taking this stereo...you won't let my infected uncle take a plane out of Liberia..."

A friend of mine had AIDS (and died from it). I wasn't phobic. I heard that you can't get it except through bodily fluids. He handed me a glass of water when I arrived. Yes, I was thinking, "Is everyone SURE about this? I'm ingesting fluids...he's touched the glass...he's used the glass...who says he rinsed it out THAT well the day before..." I still drank the water.

So I get it...people should get it...EBOLA, like AIDS, isn't easy to get. But people have gotten it! Doctors have gotten it, and they tend to be thorough about washing their hands and taking precautions! It's spreading in the three major countries where people were eating bat-shit or whatever was going on. They're all fucking each other and guzzling snot and semen? What IS going on?

I know a woman, since college, who has spent the past 20 years in HIV positive misery because her moronic boyfriend was a junkie and got AIDS off a used needle. At least, that's the likely story. He obviously managed to get some of his fluids into her blood system. My point is...wouldn't it be helpful if people were cautious and sensible instead of being worried about racism? Africans are spreading this, and they are ignorant about what they are doing and that is not going to change much. They won't use condoms. They don't understand hygiene. They are illiterate. Not ALL, but too high a percentage.

Too bad we live in an intimidated age when it's politically incorrect to suggest that SOME minority groups are full of ignorant sub-human bastards. Or to suggest ALL groups are...if you want to include white chavs and rednecks and almost all of Holland and Sweden.

"EBOLA...B.O.L.A...BOLA..." LA LA LA LA LA LA

Oh, kids, there's NOTHING to fear.

You've seen the meme..."Taylor Swift has more ex-boyfriends than the USA has had EBOLA deaths."

HA HA HA HA.

Man, I've been there. I remember when cunts named Mephisto and Hans and Christer the Blister insisted they knew better than I did: "piracy is GOOD for the music business."

I remember when smug shit-brains said climate change wasn't real.

And when Piffle Professors said the more insane immigrant scumbags the better, because they'll "assimilate" and become nice, kind, sophisticated people who appreciate the finer things in life.

ETC.

And so they've been saying, "Ebola restrictions?? Don't be SILLY...what's this KERFUFFLE...why FLING your POO? You can NOT quarantine Ebola victims. The poor babies. Don't keep Africans from Ebola-ridden countries from flying all over the world. What's logical about THAT? Why, doctors know ALL about the symptoms and we're becoming so much more adept at seeing the warning signs! DOCTORS know SO much about how the disease is passed around..."

Ah.

Oh.

Here's a doctor who knew everything about Ebola, how it spreads, how to avoid getting it. And he got it. And best of all, he didn't know...as he wandered ALL OVER TOWN with it.

I'm sure there's some singing at this very moment:

"He walked up to me and he asked me to dance, and I asked him his game, and in a dark sad voice said EBOLA...B.O.L.A. BOLA..."

Ha. No no, he didn't say THAT, because he didn't KNOW he HAD IT. And, ha ha ha, we really don't know FOR SURE what mutations ebola has. Or if a version might be passed on by simply shaking hands. But why be safe when the alternative is for a bunch of monkey bastards to have hurt feelings?

Christ, I've had people shun me when I said I was just over the flu. "I'm not taking any chances! Get away!" But a disease that can kill you? Oh, don't tell Ngubo Bagubo that he can't go visit his relatives in Atlanta, just because he's from Liberia. How cruel. Sure, he might test positive on the flight, or once he touches down, but hey, DOCTORS KNOW WHAT TO DO."

It's all a big fucking joke isn't it? Show me that MEME again: "Taylor Swift has more ex-boyfriends than the USA has had EBOLA deaths." Ha ha ha. Maybe in a week we'll make it The Kardashians. Then we'll make it The entire student body at Vassar. And when it's a full blown epidemic...oh well.

Just change "The Red Death to "The Black Plague."

And darkness, and decay, and THE BLACK PLAGUE held illimitable dominion over all.

Because we wanted to show how Liberal we all were. And we didn't want to hurt the feelings of ignorant, diseased people. And the funny thing is, if it was "Typhoid Mary," she would be quarantined and all OF her relatives. But Black Plague Mbuto? "Come in come in...look in the Harbor at the Statue of Stupidity...it says: bring us your ignorant diseased plague-carrying monkeys...don't use common sense...don't take precautions that could work...trust the DOCTORS who know how to protect themselves..."