Uplifting? My ass! And yours? Negroid Butt Entertainment

"Fashion" now dictates that everyone has to have a Negroid rear end.

Somehow, the callipygian look, once considered quite primitive, is IN.

You are expected to walk around entertaining people with how you dress, and most certainly, where you bulge!

Yet another lingerie catalog arrived in the mail, which is always worth perusing...butt, I noticed several more pages devoted to BBS (Bertha Butt Syndrome).

It used to be that women had to be obsessed with their BOSOMS but now, it's balanced out...they ALSO have to be concerned with what's trailing behind.

"OK, that's YOUR problem," I thought, referencing ye tender ladies who wish to be another Kim Kardashian gorilla-ass.

BUTT...

Toward the back of the catalog there were some items for men, and...WHAT?

Guys, it's time for BAP...Big Ass Paranoia.

Ah ha ha ha...it used to be that guys had to be obsessed with their PENIS DIMENSION, but now, it's balanced out...they ALSO have to be concerned with the FLIP SIDE. Is yo' ass as BIG as a Negro ass, yo??

Sorry about the focus. In my surprise and dismay at the White Man's Burden of having a gigantic jutting shelf of ass fat...I couldn't quite bear to look for more than a few seconds. But you get the idea. YOU (unless you are black) are supposed to buy SPECIAL UNDERWEAR that you can insert PADS into. Or derby hats. Or live raccoons.

So, about $50 (underpants and pads) SHOULD help the inferiority complex you didn't know you should have, but now have.