Senile Sugar Daddy PAUL ARONSON Pays for Monkeyshines

Oh, you gotta love the INTERNET and SOCIAL MEDIA and TECHNOLOGY.

Edging out the cop who stole nudie pix of drunken girls that he found on their cell phones, I'll headline THIS as today's prime story of stupidity:

Thank you, Sugar Daddy Dot Com, or Tinder-Brain or Fuckmeet or whatever site it was...for helping create this amusing story.

Isn't it nice that an 85 year-old can figure out how to use a computer, dial up a whore website, and make a fucking fool out of himself? He probably has a FARCEBOOK account with all kinds of idiot pix of himself...and his neighbors must be doubled over laughing at him. Along with thousands of complete strangers.

This guy's 85. He's horny? Jeez, he's got morning wood and he's hard all day long and he's gotta find TWO women? I like the part where he ordered up twins. It didn't matter how monkey-like they were. All they needed was to be female...and in New York it's illegal to go to a pet store and buy chimps.

And...this old bastard was a LAWYER. That's the missing cherry (don't expect one on either of the 17 year-old sluts he paid for) on the cake.

YEAH, INTERNET! How lovely that it makes it easy to pick up underage girls.

YEAH, INTERNET! How lovely that underage girls can easily make extra money, apparently legally, just by stripping and parading around in front of an old fart. What did these girls' mama have to say? Step-daddy? How many other brothers and sisters do these girls have? These depraved chicks could've made a fortune off this dumb old bastard, but they had to be stupid and tie him up and rob him?

Oh, speaking of dumb, how stupid are COPS when they end up getting caught passing photos of sluts around?

You can Google the whole story yourself if you want to, but briefly noted:

California Highway Patrol officer Sean Harrington, a horny 35 year-old, had a hobby of rifling through the cell phones of drunken sluts he arrested. Hunting for nude photos...and FINDING THEM...he'd happily share the prizes with his fellow pigs. Er, officers. He did this "at least six times" before getting caught. What a moron. What a hobby.

But that's technology...stupid girls can't help posing naked AND keeping this stuff on their cell phones for easy hacking, easy sharing...easy identity theft and permanent humiliation. "Gosh, I left my cell phone on the table at the restaurant...oh, they returned it to me...oh, now I'm getting obscene phone calls...and my naked pix are on Tumblr." The good news is stupid sluts like that have no shame, and don't care all that much who sees their naked photos.

Hey drunken sluts, hoist your photos to a SUGAR DADDY dot com, and wait for some senile lawyer to pay you to pose in person for him!