"I want you to see my new tattoos! Every kewl girl has a bunch! Here's MINE!
"A funny thing happened. This guyyyyy I'm seeing, Phil McCavity, spread my legs and said to me, "Well now, so you be callin' yerself SHAUNA I. CUNTWELL." And I began to giggle. He thought my slit was the letter I. Oh, that's what I get for shaving my twat, but I have to, as black pubes don't match my oh-so-blonde hair up top!
"Some of you guyyyysss might wonder why I got the tattoos. I've found it helps me be remembered. Lots of times, guys fuck me, and they have to put a bag over my head because my huge staring eyes creep them out. They pop their load in me, look down, and as they hurry away, they can't help but remember SHAUNA CUNTWELL. Assuming they're literate.
"Next time at the tattoo parlor, I want the guuyyyyyy to artfully etch Katy Perry's tits on my chest. It'll give me the illusion that I'm not flat! Hee hee! It'll be FUN! Woo hoo!
"I've been SO cheerful since the tattoo guyyyy accidentally shoved one of his needles into my frontal lobe!"
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