Sunday, March 23, 2014

Assholes Get Tattoos: Case in Point: JUSTIN BIEBER

The last time we heard of Canadian ass-hat Justin Bieber, he was on a stretch of arrests for typical juvenile delinquent antics.

After all, the jerk isn't even 21 yet, is he? He's always pouting, "I'm just a kid."

A few days after one of his arrests...what did he do? He got himself two new tattoos. Naturally he couldn't keep this earth-shaking news to himself and naturally, he thinks he's done something worthy of the "World Records" book. He got his tattoos done on a plane. Hey everybody, doesn't that make me something special? I lay on my back, on a plane 40,000 feet up, while some jerk inked me. What talent I have!

I guess he's a little restless with only being known as a world-champ at selling drivel to teenage twats. This creepy brat was actually the subject of a "Jeopardy" TV quiz question: "Who had five gold albums while still a teenager?" No, not Viley Virus. It's that clown nose, Just a Beeper.

Slow news week. Everyone's still grousing about the Malaysian plane that "went missing." The good news there, is that it proves that "Google Maps" can't do everything, and that it's actually possible for a giant plane with over 200 people aboard to "vanish." Wish Viley and Justin would do the same.

As to the latest tattoos...first off, let's repeat that ONLY immature idiots get tattoos. You have to be under 21 and have little self-worth to get yourself inked up with some stupid shitty picture you wouldn't even put on your bedroom wall. You have to be quite the dimwit to think that you're impressing anybody because you've scarred yourself for life with some big garish and/or meaningless slogan or drawing.

Ass-hat decided to put the word "forgive" on his belly. Awwwww. Poor puppy boy. Look at the expression on his face, that wimpy moping "pity the pretty boy" look. Yeah, that works with pubescent little bitches and boo-boos but not adults, pal.

We're supposed to "forgive" every stupid, arrogant thing you do? Let me put it this way: I hope you die. I hope you die stupidly and painfully. Like, while spitting on your fans from a hotel balcony, you fall over and splat face down on the pavement. Or, how about this: you go egg somebody's house, and the guy comes out, and shoves a dozen eggs down your throat till you choke. How about this: you try and do some Justin Timberlake move on stage, tangle your legs up, fall down onto a live wire, and spend the next 60 seconds moving like an epileptic snake while smoke comes billowing from under your ass-hat! Any of those would do.

The other tattoo...some kind of cross. Oh right, Mr. Religion, here. He's blasting his stereo waking up all his neighbors, running over to his nearest neighbors with a basket of eggs to throw...and he's thinking, "What would Jesus do?" Jesus, by the way, was a big fan of Brazilian whores. And frankly, it's surprising Jesus hasn't come back down to earth just to fuck Selena Gomez...but I'm sure Justin thinks that he's doing that because The Lord wants him to. That's Bieber, ass-holier than thou.

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