PASS THE SICK BUCKET...HENDRIX IS ON A STAMP

"Jimi Hendrix was a NIGGER!" Patti Smith enthused.

Let's admire the reverse-racism here, because our favorite skanky white poetess can't be wrong. What's not to like about a nigger? In my lexicon, a "nigger," is a stereotypical black who is loud, arrogant, dumb and obnoxious. Oh, and violent, too.

Back in those glorious hippie days of the late 60's and early 70's, the "nigger" was admirable. Whites loved that Black Panther, wearing an army beret and threatening to blow the head off any cops who dared arrest prostitutes, pimps, thieves and drug dealers. Hippies read "Soul on Ice" by the wonderful Eldridge Cleaver, a guy who admitted to raping white women. Another hero for white coeds was LeRoi Jones, who made a career out of being viciously anti-white. Then there was Bob Dylan singing about George Jackson and having a hit with "Hurricane."

Remember that stirring tune? "He coulda been the champion of the world." The truth? Hurricane Carter was an aging, washed up nobody living in Paterson New Jersey. He was on a losing streak and had been beaten by several other boxers plus...he already fought for the championship and LOST.

More importantly, Carter wasn't just "driving around," and pulled over and scapegoated. That night, a black bartender was killed by a white guy. Carter had a friend who was distraught about it, and Carter said it might be a good idea to get a gun and do something. Three hours later, same neighborhood, a white bartender was killed (and two more who could've identified the shooters). Coincidentally...a witness identified Carter's car, and Carter was picked up within minutes of the crime, driving in that neighborhood. Go Google "Cal Deal" to read the facts Dylan never bothered to check out.

So Hendrix...he was in the right time and he had the right complexion, and that perfect "nigger" attitude that Patti loves so much.

Hendrix was your big, laconic, strutting nigger who couldn't sing for shit. But hell, he could scramble the "Star Spangled Banner," which amused all the hippies on communes who, I guess, figured Communism was a great idea. Oh yeah, he also could play the guitar with his teeth, and if there's anything white morons like, it's a "guitar hero." Doesn't matter what the fuck you play, just how you play it. Play loud, play fast, play while lying on your back...wowie zowie.

Let's be NICE and add that by all accounts, Jimi could sometimes be shy and gentle...but his public image was Big Black Cock Nigger. Drug taking, white hippie girl fucking, gaudy rich do-as-he-pleases Nigger.

So what the fuck is he doing on a U.S. postal stamp?

It's just a sign of how desperate the U.S. Postal System is. They are MILLIONS in debt. They lose MILLIONS a day. My local post office sometimes has ONE person on duty and a long line. So they figure that "collectors" will buy up these fucking Jimi Hendrix stamps and that'll help.

Sure it will. But not by much. First off, a lot of people will only buy one block of stamps and after using up most of them (which would take a year, given how rarely anying sends a birthday card or a letter), may keep one. Whee.

Here's a fact. Stamp collecting is barely a hobby anymore. Nobody gives a shit. Go on eBay and see the piss-poor prices people get for selling a sheet of stamps. It's barely face value, usually. Too many stamps, not enough time.

So the Post Office realizes that ANY interest they can get, would have nothing to do with history or dead presidents...but idiot celebrities. They've put Warner Bros. cartoon characters on stamps. They've put "The Simpsons" on stamps. They've put Harry Potter characters on stamps. Hey, U.S. Post Office, HARRY POTTER IS BRITISH. There used to be a rule that you had to be dead to be on a stamp, but I guess "The Simpsons" techically aren't alive, so that's ok...even if the people who voice the characters and the company that profits from the show are very much alive. What bribery was involved there?

Nigger Nigger Nigger in this piece...makes some people cringe? Somebody's gonna say I'm racist? If I was, I would've bitched about Ray Charles being on a stamp. I didn't. I don't.

Ray Charles deserves to be on a stamp. So, I suppose, does Johnny Cash. In some post offices, those are still current items you can buy. But Hendrix? I don't think you can remotely put his paltry output against Ray or Johnny, and I doubt that if he lived, he would've done much more. At best, he would've been a Chuck berry or BB King, doing the same shit over and over. What next, Valens on a stamp, because he might've done more than "La Bamba?"

I wouldn't be surprised if he's on a stamp. Know why? The U.S. Post Office has a series on "Black Heritage" and LATINO heritage. As if those groups collect stamps! The Post Office has put some of the most obscure and unimportant fuckheads on stamps only because they're dead, black or Latino. So Valens will fit right in. I swear, there are Latino idiots on stamps that I've never heard of. But Latinos did, so that's important.

What a world we live in, when even the post office is corrupt...and jerk-ass drug-taking rock stars who died in their own puke get honored, when cartoon characters get honored, when somebody is ONLY honored because of their race or creed. Is it possible...God invented e-mail JUST to DAMN THE POST OFFICE?