Stephen Colbert: Didn't Do No Chinky-Dink Jokes

Poor Stephen, he had to disavow himself from a satiric remark (made in defense of another ethnic group), because these slanties don't take shit no more.

This isn't the Buddy Hackett era, where the fat boy could put a rubber band around his eyes to make them go squinty, and tell Chinese restaurant jokes.

And we live in such a humorless time that anything a comedian does instantly gets a kneejerk scream of protest. Especially if it's from a humorless comedian like Colbert.

If you don't know who Stephen Colbert is, you're lucky. He's a boring WASP asshole who appeals to boring WASP assholes who listen to National Public Radio most of the day, and only turn on Comedy Central when either he, or his lemon-faced pal Jon Stewart are on. They are both garbage, but Liberal garbage. Not Liberal in the Lenny Bruce or George Carlin way, which was earthy and funny. Nah, funny in that dopey WASP way (yeah, even though Jon Stewart is Jewish) where they either roll their eyes like there's no testosterone in their bodies, or they glaze over and glare into the camera, while telling arch, unfunny jokes that get a laugh because the punchline is usually Rush Limbaugh.

Back to the chinks.

These little yellow buggers used to be so polite (except in Chinatown, where old housewives would just bowl you over to get to their shop to buy their rice and snakeskin remedies). That stopped when Sarah Silverman did some stupid joke or other. Some chinaman began to follow her all over the country, get in her face with his smug and insinuating grimaces, and declare that he would never stop harassing her because jokes about ASIANS are OFF LIMITS. Nothing funny about it. Ever. You Jewess Bitch.

They all know karate, you know.

So Silverman, not exactly brilliant when she has to ad-lib, fell apart, began cursing in frustration, and couldn't defend herself against one humorless chinky-poo. Amazing. Oh, let's call her a Kike, fair's fair. These are un-PC times aren't they? Are they? Who knows. One minute chinky-fun is hilarious ("The Hangover") next minute it's not ok.

Back to our story. Colbert was making some kind of satiric point about Native Americans. Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder still won't change his team's name, but he vowed to establish a charity for Native Americans. So Colbert parodied that by imagining that it would be OK to be a pinhead and use stupid ethnic remarks about any group...as long as some money went to charity.

Big deal, huh?

Colbert, in his thin-lipped pasty-faced WASP way, was making fun of how we all have to worry about being politically correct. And what better place to do it, as his show, Stewart's show, and Bill Maher's come to think of it, are all havens for white people to NOT be politically correct...and NOT have to be under the pressure every day of licking black ass, Latino ass, yellow ass, red ass, and every other ass of every ethnic group in the world.

Was this such a terrible joke? Yes, if you expect to laugh. But no, if you just read the fucking thing, maybe.

There was an episode of M*A*S*H not THAT long ago, featuring Pat Morita (who used to do stand-up comedy billed as "The Hip Nip.") In the episode, his character aggravates the always testy Major Burns. Burns, cries out in ninny-frustration, "Pish posh!" And the reply is: "Pish Posh? That's my mother's family!"

Which was a pretty funny joke. In case the world isn't aware, Asians have stupid names. Almost as stupid as Avontayyyyy and Trayyyyyvon. Or Apple, or North, to name a pair of girls who were badly named by their stupid celebrity parents.

You might also remember David Bowie sticking his fingers into the sides of his face to imitate the chinky face of his "China Girl."

Just WHERE is the line between making fun of our differences and insulting people with differences? America IS the country that still has a football team called "The Redskins" and still has "The Cleveland Indians" who have a grimacing, giant-nosed bright-red-faced Native American for a mascot.

Leave it to a few chinkies to get hinky about a line that was actually intended to point up insensitivity! Fuckee you bunchee. Too bad so few of you have a sense of humor. Pat Morita, by the way, is now dead. There IS an opening for a funny Asian. I mean, a funny complete Asian, not John Woo. And no, Margaret Cho does NOT qualify.

Lastly, and quite ironically, sour-faced Stephen Colbert, of the perpetually raised eyebrow (this is supposed to signify he's being funny, so let's all laugh), has denied sending the offensive "Tweet." It turns out Comedy Central owns his "Colbert Report" Twitter account, and some intern or somebody is paid, or not paid, to Tweet for him. If he has anything to say, he Tweets from his own personal account. So the joke line was taken a bit out of context...and then suddenly a bunch of assholes who don't care about Ukraine, or Syria, or abuses in North Korea, are screaming that "CANCEL COLBERT!"

That's pretty ridiculous, isn't it? Both the response, and the fact that Colbert's too busy to oversee what his fucking staff Tweets for him! I don't think Yoko Ono has that problem. I think she hands her secretary a list of shit to Tweet during the week, and it's done. Yoko doesn't just say, "Tweet some shit for me, you know my style. Just say some fucking shit about how we're all water, and the next day, we're all part of the sky, or what the fuck..."

One of our most precious commodities is our comedians. And what do we do? Punch them in the cunt, kick 'em in the balls. We say, "More, more, get edgier, get edgier, be outrageous..." followed by "You went too far."

I guess next, nobody will be allowed to make fun of Kim Jung-Un. Nobody will be allowed to order "Yellow Rice" even in an Indian restaurant. The word "slant" will be banned from the dictionary. Think I'm kidding? I'm funny, but I'm NOT kidding! A few years ago, an ESPN reporter got fucked over. In reporting on the oddball Asian basketball player who was temporarily famous for being one of the few Asians in the world over six feet tall...the reporter used the term "chink in their armor." He wasn't referring to the player, but reporting on a team that wasn't going to win because they had a flaw that one oversized Asian couldn't correct. What happened? "Fire him! Never let him report again!" Which is as ridiculous as writing an article about some black guy, and having an uproar because somewhere you use the word "enigma."

PS, Colbert's Tweets got a lot of LIKES and RETWEETS. Come on, Charlie Chan and Mr. Moto, get on the case and find out everyone who LIKED and RETWEETED that joke. And never let them utter the phrase, "little rice dick." That phrase, need I mention it, was the punchline of an Eddie Murphy routine on Asians.