Sammy Haggar looks like an STD-infected Muppet

Find me an air-conditioned and soundproof room...far away from Gaga-palooza outdoor concerts, smelly hippies, loudmouth morons, and fucked up "charity benefits" like the one being thrown (up) by Sammy Haggar.

First off, no surprise, I own NONE of this asshole's music. I care not for Van Halen. I spit on "guitar heroes" in general and headbanger assholes in particular. Take a look at this fuckin' goon:

Put it this way:

Charity Benefits are the last refuge to which the scoundrel, and the has-been clings.

I'd rather give the money directly to charity than see it funneled down the sewer of a bunch of brain-dead rock has-beens and their promoters. What's the story here, you're supposed to feel sorry for the afflicted...or guys like Haggar who can't get arrested even if they walked through a metal detector with a cannon?

Look at the guy. I'm not saying he should lose weight, have some plastic surgery, and try to lose 20 fucking years. Or 30. But why in the world would I want to be in the same room with THAT THING on stage? HE may be having a good time...I wouldn't.

Who else is on this bill? He's proud to have gotten one of today's premiere Gods, the bi-sexual genius "Billie Joe Armstrong" of Green Face, or Sick Day or whatever the band is. That's supposed to make the show relevant. Oh good, "Billie Joe" will show up with his fucking mascara and some tired political shit, and some spotty kids aged 20 think he's Mr. Times They Are a Changin' or something. As for Nancy Wilson of Heart, I don't want to know how she looks now. I'd almost prefer the black Nancy Wilson who can probably still sing this blondie right off the stage.

Joe Satriani? I'm very happy to tell you that I've heard the name and have no idea why. I don't think I've heard any of his shit...and am sure that most of it would sound just like a turd plopping into a splashy toilet bowl. He's a "guitar shredder." Oh, wow, man, seriously, wow, man, oh. I'd be impressed to see him do some guitar-jerk-off histrionics on stage? No, I think not, no matter if he made faces even uglier than Robin Trower, or tried to pull some of his teeth out by biting the strings ala the immortal Jimi Hemorrhoid.

Charity begins at home, and considering this bill of "entertainment," that night, I'm staying home. Christ, Sammy, you look like your only groupie is Miss Piggy.