Disgusted by Joan Rivers

Having spent time with Joan Rivers, written about her, and admired her, I was dismayed to see this picture:

What? Somebody hits a tiny 80 year-old woman with a cake?

But look closely. What's wrong with that photo?

The initial reports were that "somebody" threw a cake at Rivers but...she's in the middle of a crowd (it was a promotional party for her show on the QVC cable channel).

How come nobody instantly apprehended the jerk? How come there's no cake or cream on the floor or on anyone else?

The initial news on all the websites was just that River was hit with a cake, with a snide, "she has so many enemies, she's insulted so many people!"

Poor Joan. How about her Twitter account? The woman's a Twitter maniac, always with one-liners, always with promotional announcements. NOTHING.

Finally, somebody "leaked" to YOUTUBE, some camcorder footage of Rivers backstage with the revolting Muppet known as "Miss Piggy."

QVC, in case you don't know, is one of several insanely successful cable channels that do NOTHING but run COMMERCIALS. In fact, "INFOMERCIALS." For a half hour or more, Joan Rivers or some other celeb or demi-celeb, will demonstrate bad kitchen products, faulty cosmetics, or cheap jewelry, while a crawl at the bottom urges you to CALL NOW for a BARGAIN PRICE.

Apparently the obnoxious "Miss Piggy" has her own line of QVC products, and she was bitching (or pigging) to Rivers about it. Rivers makes a fortune with cheap jewelry that white trash morons think is glamorous. The two of them swapped corny insults until somehow "Miss Piggy" pushed Rivers toward a conveniently located multi-tiered cake.

Rivers conveniently fell into JUST enough to get a bit of cake on her face and slightly on her gown.

Next, Rivers emerges from this secluded backstage area where the staged "fight" happened, calling attention to herself by shouting for a cab to take her back to her hotel. She does a few very theatrical poses for the cameras, as stunned guests look around in surprise. Then she's off in the cab to get cleaned up...

...while the world was supposed to guess: "WHO HIT RIVERS WITH A CAKE?"

For a solid day, legit newspaper websites and gossip sites run the photos and ask "WHO HIT RIVERS WITH A CAKE," while her fans are left to wonder, their blood-pressure rising, who'd do something so hurtful to their favorite star.

And look again at that photo. Rivers does not look happy. She looks humiliated and upset. Which makes her fans upset.

And it turns out to be bullshit.

Need I say at this point, that I'm really tired of "gotcha" publicity stunts?

This includes American talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, a smirking pudge who LOVES to create "viral" YOUTUBE videos and then laugh because people were fooled. His latest was to get an Olympic athlete to upload to her YOUTUBE page, footage she claimed was of a wolf wandering around in the hall of her hotel room.

Actually, haw haw haw, Kimmel spent thousands of dollars to replicate what the hotel room looked like, and more money to get an animal expert and a trained wolf. Now, how the fuck was anyone supposed to know that a trusted Olympic athlete was perpetrating a hoax when it was set up with thousands of dollars' worth of Kimmel's money? And what was so far-fetched about a wolf somehow getting into a hotel hallway when in America, wild bears are often found in suburban homes, and coyotes and other animals routinely "drop in" on people who own property in exclusive gated communities (such as Billy Crystal, no kidding)?

Haw haw haw. People got tricked. Haw haw haw.

Remember everyone, don't believe everything you see on YOUTUBE. What a lesson!

Here, first off, I hate and loathe "Miss Piggy." Is it possible to dislike a Muppet? Yes...I hate the face, the body and the voice and the attitude. And it's incredibly stupid to suggest that Kermit the Frog would have a romance with any kind of pig...especially this overbearing cunt.

Second, it's disgusting that Rivers would stoop to such a stupid publicity trick. The woman has all the money, she has all the fame, she's all over cable TV with various shows, and to alarm her fans who were worried about her, and feeling anger at her humiliation...this was dumb. DUMB.

Finally, a day or two after she got her picture on a ton of Internet news websites, and the leaked "Miss Piggy" footage also turned up (as various Internet newspapers and columnists "solved" the case by offering the hot link to YOUTUBE) Rivers wrote THIS on Twitter:

"I have no comment on what happened at the QVC Red Carpet party other than my Rabbi said that I can eat all the "Revenge Bacon" I want."

Haw haw haw.

NOT.

Professionals like Joan Rivers and Jimmy Kimmel use their vast staff of publicity hacks to cause a photo or a YOUTUBE video to go viral, and have it plastered all over the place where everyone HAS to see it...and then they shrug and smugly tell the world, "It was a joke" and YOU feel like a fool for caring.

"Made ya look! HA HA HA! Made ya look!"

Now, I have not watched any of Joan's reality shows, and never bought her shitty jewelry as a gift for any woman, and never cared about how she slammed idiots on the red carpet for the TV Guide channel or whatever third-rate channel had her turn up before the Academy Awards began. But I did read her latest book, and I've always been a fan. Now, not so much. I've never minded her so-called "bad taste" jokes, and if 10% or 20% of the gags in her stand-up act didn't make me laugh or smile, so what. But THIS stunt not only wasn't funny in the least...it wasn't creative. And to create concern for her and have it turn out to be bullshit to promote crappy jewelry and "Miss Piggy" --now THAT is bad taste, worse than any joke she's made about Liz Taylor, gays, Jews, herself, or anyone else.

You're entitled to one glaring mistake in 50 fucking years, Joan. I'm still disgusted but I'll get over it. I just hope you don't do anything this stupid and obnoxious again. PS, if you shove a firecracker up "Miss Piggy's rubber ass, and explode that fucking puppet to bits...THAT would make me smile.