Everybody got what they wanted, really. Bieber got his repulsive body on the cover of a gay magazine, homos get a chance to buy a Bieber photo cover that they couldn't do if he was on a tweeny-bitch magazine, and the amateurish author got a chance to be oh so snarky.
Me? I'm faintly amused that the well-oiled Bieb-machine thought they'd get a puff piece from poofters. Didn't they think, for a minute, of just how vicious gay men can be? They want to be bitchy women, after all.
You don't have to spend a "day with Bieber" to write about what a stupid, egocentric baby he is. Bieb's people thought that by giving Ms. Broudy the "thrill" of tagging along for a day, this would assure a burbling piece! It would be a trivia pursuit, with the gasping writer trying to keep up with jotting down what Justin was wearing, how people react to him, etc. etc.
No, instead the double-crossing bitch started off by declaring Bieber "offensive." Then why volunteer for such an assignment? What was going on with these "Men's Health" bitches? The editor handed the assignment to his nastiest Nancy? "You won't believe this. Bieber's people want SO desperately to get the cover of OUR magazine, they'll even let one of us hang with Justin all day. If you hate the guy already, imagine how it'll feel to mince after him and pay attention to every vacuous word he utters? He's the guy you LOVE to hate!"
The author confesses to being a long-time Bieber-peeker, some kind of pedo-pusher with a love-hate problem:
"Watching it is painful...but there's something fascinating about it as well. It turns into a kind of dark sport. And if you watch long enough, you can't help but think Jaysus, if I only had five minutes with the kid...But what exactly would you say?"
Obviously, not much. This guy could've asked Justin, "How come even the ex-President of the United States talked to you and advised you, and David Letterman, and so many others, and you still make childish, obnoxious mistakes almost EVERY fucking day?"
Nah. It doesn't seem like this guy did more than keep step a few paces behind the Beeper. That maybe he caught up to him for a few trivial words:
“As he talks you realize the funny way you each want to be like the other. He wants to be like you. Real. Limited. Bounded. You want to be like him. Or do you?"
Sounds like "shower buddy" fantasies to me. No, I don't think Beeper wants to be some homo from "Men's Health" tagging along after a no-talent, and hoping to get a glimpse of his Calvin Klein waistband. That this writer would like to have a good body, and walk around in tighty whiteys, is a no-brainer. PS, this habit of writers cursing in print...it's borderline for Rolling Stone, but shouldn't be a part of the "style" in un-hip magazines like "Men's Health." Cursing in print doesn't make you cool or heterosexual, it just looks amateurish and kind of Twitter-y.
I haven't, of course, read the full article on this idiot. It's entirely possible whichever tabloid stole a few paragraphs to make it a "news" article, slanted it badly. But I doubt that the article offered any sympathetic about this jerky kid, or that Beeper said anything quotable. The average 21 year-old who has little education, and sings shitty music, is not going to be like a college student, and have any sensitivity or point of view on the bigger issues of life...beyond banging greasy Mexican girls and South American whores. Think of the kind of lyrics that Lennon and McCartney were writing at age 21, or so many others of previous generations...and compare it to Bieber's garbage.
Here's a guy who is STILL being referred to as "the Baby singer." A reference to his song or his personality?
Do I feel badly that Just a Beeper got sucker-punched by a limp-wristed cocksucker magazine devoted to men's grooming, and ads concerned with fashionable socks? Of course not. It's just a bit surprising that someone so media-savvy, with so many advisers who know the publishing world, would think that a hypocritical fruit basket magazine like "Men's Health" would play it straight. No, their game was to use the guy's body, and then snicker to everyone about it afterward. Sort of like some old fag who promised a Midnight Cowboy a big pay-off for sucking his cock, only to skip out the men's room door while the dumb stud was still trying to get his pants back on. "It turns into a kind of dark sport," the old fag tells his old fag friends.
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