Heard She's No Longer Deeply in Depp

One of the more boring celebrity news items is this Amber Heard-Johnny Depp divorce.

Since you've fucked off, in the Biblical sense, how about doing it in EVERY OTHER WAY?

If there's anyone whose appeal is more perplexing than round-faced Leonardo Di Crapio, it's racoon-eyed Johnny Depp. I guess you have to be a fag or a twat to care.

At this point, BOTH of them are coming blobs. They are ugling up and their waistlines are expanding.

To me, Deppshit was a freak show in Scissorhands, miscast as Ed Wood and Sweeney Todd, and not worth a free download as the gay pirate. He's not a great actor, and over the years he's become a pudgy parody (not to be confused with Vanessa Parody, his ex-wife)

Did he rough up twat-wife #2 once in a while? She's ok, just a scratch or two, so she can stop whining and start collecting the MONEY. SHUT UP, BITCH. We've HEARD enough.

And goes for her ex (who is getting publicity for his greasy Latino self by defending her) and Parody, who hasn't been heard of for years, and is getting publicity for saying Johnny's a gentle guy (and his alimony checks arrive on time, right?)

PS, I thought Johnny and Amber's rock group sucked. You know, Depp-LepHeard. Christ, I loathe heavy metal, especially on the dinner table. You shouldn't have to strain your wrist holding a soup spoon. But I digress.

I can tell you in three words, why there is no point pursuing the Depp-Heard situation. They aren't the same color as Kanye or Jay-z or Beyonce. So forget about it. The three word mantra of the 21st Century:

BLACK LIVES MATTER.