Saturday, February 6, 2016

"Self Control to Major Twats..." DRY UP!

Do you BELIEVE this fucking headline?

"KEEP TISSUES HANDY..."

Sniff sniff. Leak leak. Piss piss.

The world is going to be ch-ch-ch-chafing in its wet diaper because a craven car company paid TWO MILLION to use a stupid song in an ad?

"Keep tissues handy..."

Or do you mean skin tissues, because this ad will rub you the wrong way?

"Have your proctologist handy because this ad is a pain in the ass and you'll need a rectal skin graft..."

The notion is people will be SO overcome with grief and nostalgia when they hear Blowie's voice, they'll sob into their popcorn and beer?

Not likely. Quite the reverse. I wouldn't be surprised if Blowie fans, not realizing this dopey deal was signed before he died, flooded Audi with angry Tweeties: "Sacrilege! How dare you! You ruined his song to sell your shitty cars! The Stardust is GONE!"

What nobody has mentioned is how much money the Blowie estate makes off something like this. The contract might be for a very flat 5%. Maybe BMI only tallies this as "one time usage on a TV broadcast" and it's hardly more than one radio usage. You can bet the fat cats are the ones making the BIG money (not that Blowie's wife iPod needs more millions).

What a world gone mad; an overrated hack's song is used in an overhyped and overblown football game. The game not only attracts worldwide attention for no good reason, it's interrupted for a fucking half hour so some asshole can sing a bunch of songs. Can you imagine a boxing match ending after 6 rounds with the fighters taking naps for a half hour while Adele whines about past relationships gone sour?

Worst of all, the BIGGEST entertainment is "Make sure to watch the commercials! They are soooooo good!" No. They are commercials. And one of them uses a fucking BLOWIE song.

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