Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Phil Collins Sue Sue Sue de Ho' or Re-marry de Ho?

Sitting behind a drum kit pounding out "I Can't Dance" and "Follow You Follow Me" and other ABBA-esque pieces of progrock shit has got to damage the brain as well as the spine.

Standing up and howling "Take a Look At Me Now," when you're a creepy little pinhead who isn't much to look at, also can lead to mental problems.

Thus, it's no surprise that Phil Collins walks with a cane and has been married and divorced a few times. The surprise is how STUPID he is about what he wastes his alimony money on.

Wife number three, who looks like a Holiday Inn maid, left him, didn't give a shit if he drank himself to death, and was awarded 36 MILLION. This made Phil Collins the stupidest stooge in the history of British marriage bilkings.

While Phil was nursing his aching back, and drinking himself into a stupor, rich wifey found some greasy ethnic who swindled her out of all her money. And so...ta da...she needs money and she needs PHIL again. He's SO happy to have her back. Watta prize.

The venerable Al Goldstein said of whores, "You're not really paying them for sex. You're paying them to LEAVE."

For 36 MILLION, Collins could have hired a fucking (literally) harem of colored girls to service him on salary. For a mere five figure salary, most any "private secretary" would be glad to have an easy job of putting out once in a while, being escorted to parties, and acting pleasant. But morons like Phil Collins MARRY the help, who get uppity and obnoxious and ungrateful. Then, even without a leg to stand on (cue the Heather McCartney jokes) she goes to court and grabs enough money to make Peter Gabriel think she's a Jew banker in disguise.

The good news and the bad news?

He's "happy" again for the time being, and he still has plenty of money to throw away from the days when fans actually bought music. That's the good news.

The bad news will come months from now when he realizes a) this woman doesn't care about him, and b) that nobody will pay to get a new Phil Collins album.

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