It's Snacks "as Big as a Baseball" Season

Look at THIS giant Adele-sized WAD:

That's a fucking cheddar-covered blob of fatty hamburger, a deep-fried greasy chicken cutlet, and an oily fried clump of potatoes. It's a heart attack that'll cost about $20. Or MORE.

It's called "Barnyard Wedding." HOW APPETIZING.

What, Adele? You say it's TOO SMALL? Then you'll want the "Tape Measure." This is a disgusting "Cheese Steak" (a long, twisty entrail of meat coated over in the cheapest liquid gooey cheese which comes in a fucking squirt-bottle). It's TWO FEET LONG. And nearly $30.

Where are these and other horrible items being sold? Yankee Stadium. They are NEW this year

While you can buy a foot-long sandwich from a Subway fast-food take-away joint and bring it to the stadium with you for under $6, who wouldn't be delighted to say "I had a TAPE MEASURE at YANKEE STADIUM!!!?" Besides, the average slob moron who makes $100 an hour as a plumber wouldn't think of brown-bagging a sandwich to a stadium (where a modest seat high up somewhere is $75).

Last time I was at the stadium, I was repulsed by the stinky food, which was being eaten by stinky people. Some slob ordered an "ordinary" cheese steak and it stunk up the air with dead flesh and smothered onions for about ten minutes before he could finish it. The place also reeked of beer.

Baseball is supposed to be a contemplative game. There are long pauses while you wait for anything to happen. You think along with the pitcher and the manager on the strategy for every batter. You wonder where the pitch will be thrown, and at what speed, to counter the batter's strength and intention (a hit or a home run). Considering it takes three strikes to get someone out, four balls before he walks, and unlimited balls fouled off, one at-bat can be downright tedious.

So who the fuck needs loudmouth morons bellowing "Come on, baby! HIT A HOMER!" Or "Strike the fucker out" over and over? And who wants ADD morons filling the time with constant chatter and goofy jokes about each other?

I'd be happy for them to stuff their faces except the food STINKS.

In the old days, I used to just get up and go someplace else, but now, perversely, the stadium is always very full (of tourists as well as slobs with a ton of money) and there are security guards constantly demanding to see your ticket, unless you're in the nosebleed seats, and it's too cold and distant to go way up there to avoid stinky loud people.

Baseball stadiums seem to know how to put the fat asses in the seats: feed 'em grease, cheese, meat, beer...and let 'em scream and curse as much as possible, which leads to loading up on more beer, grease, cheese and meat...

"And it's goodbye from him..."

Oh, shit.

For years, I'd put off writing a letter to him. Not that he would've gotten THAT big a kick out of it, but maybe. I would've mentioned how impressive that (dopey) "monologue in the chair" thing was. I know some people hated his cutesy meandering bit, which always arrived at some silly old joke, but almost nobody else could've pulled it off.

I also think he was quite versatile in being both a straight man and a comic, even if he didn't have Barker's huge range.

And give the guy credit for being less than five feet tall and scoring a very hot and statuesque (well, compared to him) wife.

But I put off writing because I would've had to include postage vouchers, and spend a long time composing the letter just right, and in the passing years, I've found myself NOT wanting to do anything that's, well, Hoobastank-y. And for what? A letter back, or an autographed photo that, eventually, will either be tossed on eBay by my better half, or thrown out?

But right now, I remember Corbett with great fondness, for most of what he did.

No, IF I'M BEING HONEST, I wasn't a big fan of the sitcom he did after "The Two Ronnies" ended, which I thankfully can't remember by name. No great comedian can save shitty material or a character that is tediously uninteresting, anymore than Sinatra could make anyone buy that fucked up album he did of all McKuen songs.

As for "The Two Ronnies," it was Mr. C., not Mr. B., who was forgiving and faintly amused when "Not Necessarily The News" made fun of them. He covered that, and more in one of his books (or did he write about a dozen, all pretty much the same one re-hashed).

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I was always a fan of the show. If it began to get predictable, with the difficult-to-understand musical numbers being a bit tedious, the musical guest awful, and the continuing sketch from show to show impossible to follow (and not worth trying), well, there was the opening set of silly news items, Barker doing some kind of wordplay monologue as a blowhard, and little Corbett sitting in his chair and being adorable (to some).

Along the way, over what, more than a decade, they did create some enduring routines, and long, long after, Corbett, now a certified living legend, added a few more when he'd turn up on somebody else's variety show, or a benefit. He did a pretty funny monologue about computers only a few years ago. (If I was being paid, I'd go research it and quote from it).

What was wrong with some escapist foolishness? "Not Necessarily The News" had a bit of cheeky nerve putting down The Two Ronnies, when so little of what they did holds up. And it wasn't so great even then. Some of it was just plain smug, and some of the players just plain ugly and oafish. (I did like the Kate Bush song parody, and the one on Simon and Garfunkel, which apparently was done for a record but was not broadcast on one of their shows).

But back to Mr. C. He had all the best traits of a clown. He looked funny. He was likable. He had humility. He could come up with a very witty and intelligent liner (or, he recognized them when the writers handed him a batch). Being so small, he had vulnerability, which is important for a comedian. With few exceptions, people like to feel some kind of superiority to the person on stage, if only to think, "Oh, that guy is so neurotic and unhappy" or "jeez, he's a munchkin! All the money in the world can't change that!"

And...oh, the guy is dead. What else can you say. A lot of his stuff will still make SOME of us non-Allah-kazams laugh when a laugh is needed. I'm sure some are going over to GooTube right now. "Your nuts, milard..."

Wendy Bell - Fired for a FARCEBOOK Post

People tell celebrites, "have a FARCEBOOK account! Connect with your fans! Act like you're e-mailing your friends. Post instant updates about yourself and your views. Interact with THE PEOPLE. You should make FARCEBOOK part of your LIFE!"

Oh yeah.

Wendy Bell's life just stopped.

It stopped because she thought she could be open and honest with her FARCEBOOK FRIENDS.

Ha ha ho ho hee hee.

The woman was on Pittsburgh television for 18 years, and won 21 local Emmy awards. So what. She MAY have OFFENDED some BLACK PEOPLE while showing anger and sympathy for 5 blacks gunned down in a shit neighborhood, a typical black-on-black crime.

A sanctimonious white general manager decided she had to go. HE of course, was keeping HIS job. Why doesn't he think the increasingly black and violent city of Pittsburgh should have a BLACK general manager at the station? Why doesn't he think HE bears some responsibility for NOT having fired Wendy Bell sooner? No suh!

While nobody outside Pittsburgh knows who the fuck Wendy Bell is, the story has gotten national attention. It underlines that in "Freedom of Speech" America, you can't speak your mind on your own FARCEBOOK page. Blacks can insult whites all day long, and rappers can be rich doing it. Whites can't even express sympathy for blacks unless it involve self-flagellation or handing over a huge donation amid loud admissions, "nobody knows da trouble you seen."

Local news anchors can earn BIG bucks. In New York, a fucking weather man might pull down $500,000 a year, or even a million. Certainly the sports asshole makes that, or more. So that's probably what a high profile veteran news anchor in Pittsburgh makes. Hopefully Wendy Bell socked away some savings. Maybe, in six months or a year, she'll be hired someplace else, and even BLACKS will say it's ok and she deserves a second chance. Especially since she didn't say anything that bad. She was actually sympathizing with the senseless murders of black people.

It seems to me that her worst enemies were hypocrite white assholes like Mr. Wolf Farts, the pie-faced general manager so eager to kick her cunt to the curb and make himself out to be the Great White Father.

As you'd expect, most people have sided with Wendy Bell, and are helplessly pissed off about what happened. This is especially true of Pittsburgh viewers, many having grown up with her.

A few uppity blacks have taken to FARCEBOOK and TWATTER to sourly say she be racist, but that's nigga thinking these days. There's a self-entitlement that comes with kneejerk white people insisting blacks are never treated fairly, and that the world should end and the Oscars boycotted because Will Smith didn't get a nomination.

When a lot of your own people play the race card as an excuse for being lazy and losers, you already develop a big black chip on your shoulder. When whites nod in agreement, and bleat for "affirmative action," and walk around sanctimoniously scowling over "lily white" this and "unfair" that, and laughing, "I'm white, I can't dance" and "rock music would not have existed if it wasn't for Fats Domino and Blind Willie McTell and Billie Holiday," it rubs off.

Damn right that white bitch be racist. Only let's forget that in America you can say "white bitch" and be cheered, but you can't say "black bitch" and expect to keep your job or even save your life.

As I've mentioned before, NOBODY talks about whites victimized by black criminals, including thugs who deliberately go after whites. Almost no black ever gets one extra day in jail for a "hate crime."

It's mildly helpful that most FARCEBOOK comments have been like the one below: fair, balanced, and NOT racist at all.

I was glad to see quite a few blacks on TWATTER and FARCEBOOK standing up for Wendy Bell, and pointing out that the bigger issue is black-on-black crime, and how important it is to take a stand and talk about it.

Some blacks used the Bell case to tweak the nose of WHITEY for never getting it right, and always being SO unhip and SO condescending. Yeah? At least Wendy Bell cared enough to be on your side. What did you want her to do, preface it by saying she owns a lot of Billie Holiday records? That she dug Kanye's latest album? Or aren't whites even ALLOWED to say such things? Whites would go to Miles Davis shows and he'd turn his back on them. Lenny Bruce joked about how awkward it is to talk to "colored people at parties," and try and say something, anything, even, "Say, that Joe Louis was a heck of a fighter." Fine, kick people for even TRYING to be sympathic.

People are wondering how to deal with the Muslims. Do you Trump them and tell them to leave the country, and do you monitor all the ones who are sneaking around in burqas? Many say NO, because it'll make them angry. Oh, should you be Obama or Clinton and tolerant of every new atrocity? Many say NO, because it encourages more bullying. SO? What the fuck DO you do?

Same thing with this fucking race shit.

EQUALITY doesn't come from a condescending attitude, or fear, or anything but doing the RIGHT thing. The right thing, and Dr. King would've agreed, would be to forgive Wendy Bull for any poorly worded sentence, and give her a second chance. 18 fucking years on the job!

And we know damn well that if Wendy Bell was black and said what she said, she wouldn't have been fired. She would've been praised for giving "tough love" to her people. If Wendy Bell was black, and had said something similar about a white murder case and that the perps were probably white thugs, she wouldn't have been fired either. At best, she'd be given another chance because "what she said came from over 150 years of rage about slavery."

EQUALITY. It doesn't happen unless you treat people equally. Wendy Bell did not get equality here. There's nothing fair about that.

Black Kocktails with Brain-Damaged Ugly Albino Monkey Khloe Kardashian

Want to image a mongoloid Brigitte Bardot? Here you go:

I know, I shouldn't even MENTION Bardot in relation to this inbred retarded slut monster.

The national nightmare continues. Did you even know that this brain-fart has her OWN show? Like her psycho "Daddy" Caitlynn the Freak? It's called "Kocktails with Khloe." Oh, how urbane. She drinks martinis? More like Colt 45 Malt Liquor with a splatter of nigga cum for extra froth.

Well, golly, anyone married to a whore-loving brain-damaged ex-basketball player, sure deserves to be on some obscure cable network. Then, like Shauna Cuntwell, she can claim to be a "star." Because really, submitting a badly recorded song that gets on iTunes or being on an obscure cable channel does impress SOME people.

Khloe's D-list guest the other night was failed nepotism-nitwit Pauly Shore. Pauly is the son of the late Mitzi Shore, who ran a comedy club. She pushed and pushed and gave endless breaks to her moronic son. While deserving comics couldn't get time in her pay-to-play world, Pauly (and don't you HATE that name) was on stage, giggling at his bad jokes and promoting himself as the only stand-up who IS a teen and speaks to teens.

Too bad this was before Millennials ruled the planet. Thinks to Mommy Pushiest, he did get his own record deals, and even movies, but everyone knew he was shit. At this point, middle-aged shit.

So Pauly, one of the few D-listers who'd want to speak to a smelly nasal-voiced brain-dead piece of white trash, decides to ask Khloe the million-nigga question: why is it that you Kardashians (including mama) ONLY make it with BLACKS?

For the record (there will probably be a college course on the Kardashians, since American history is too much about white nobodies like Jefferson, Washington and Lincoln), Cuntney Kuntrashian did date a white guy once.

But why is this news? Why are the Kuntrashians on TV? What's WRONG?

The most important thing going on in AMERICA is media whore no-talent bints parading around with niggas? But don't ask why Khloe ISN'T a racist for not ever dating a member of her own race. Isn't it slightly racist to be attracted only to stereotypical dumb buck niggers?

What ELSE is going on in AMERICA? The tedious Presidential race that is an absolute cartoon.

That's about it. Those are the two unavoidable subjects in the news EVERY single day. Check the websites of the Post, the News, and the American version of the Daily Fail (and probably the British version as well). Kuntrashians and the Presidential Circus of Morons.

Trump? He's the rich son of a real estate bastard, who became a blowhard casino owner, went bankrupt five times, married a bunch of Slovak sluts, put his name on crappy and tacky buildings with paper thin walls and high rents, and then got his own ludicrous reality show.

Clinton? She's only the WIFE of an impeached ex-President who stuck a cigar in a tubby intern's twat and enjoying blowjobs from her. The WIFE (rumored to be bi-sexual) used her fame to briefly become a Senator in New York, and after losing the presidential primary to a guy named Obama who was using the race card, was tossed the job of Secretary of State which can be a do-nothing position. And she resigned after one term. Only to rest for the big "Make Me the First Female President" push.

Stupid politics and stupid Kardashians. That's about it. "Star Wars" sequels, campaigns to legalize marijuana, the complete farce of Internet piracy...that's what occupies the time for most people.

Meanwhile the world continues to deteriorate, climate change makes every summer a fucking hell, winters are brief, arrogant illegal aliens are taking over, and you never know when 2 or 3 members of that fine, fine religion of Islam will blow up 40 or 80 or several hundred people because they were "radicalized" by the Internet, or past-expiration date hummus, or the fact that they are pea-brained heathen monsters who have the minds of 4 year-olds and keep proving Darwin wrong.

Ah, but that brings us back to Cloying Kuntrashian, and Cuntney Kuntrashian and Quim Kuntrashian, and the two Genital sisters. THEY prove that the white race isn't so sophisticated or smart either.

Bottom line: you're gonna like the future. Not a lot.

Bill Hoobastank's Fairy Tale Song for Shauna

Convinced that wide-eyed naive Shauna can succeed, but NOT with her own original material, manager Bill Hoobastank has put pen to paper.

Actually, he put penis to toilet paper. He wiped the shit off his dick, furious that he made such a load in his nappy some of it backed up in the front.

However, this inspired some more shit: Hoobastank lyrics!

"Let me tell you how I was inspired," Bill gurgled. "I'm sure that one day scholars will want to know, so I'm taking the time to mention it. Shauna wrote a song about fairytales and crystals and things, and I thought, wow, that would be very good without the lyrics!

"Then I wrote my own, and made a demo with a paper cup and a thread instead of a microphone and a cord, and a state of the art Sanyo 1974 cassette player. Sounded great to ME.

"I sent it to Shauna complete with illustrations! Now YOU can enjoy it too!"

Bill Hoobastank's “Life’s a Lovely Fairy Tale”

Shauna, wanna wander through my sappy happy life?
I’m living in a fantasy. With my YOUNG ATTRACTIVE WIFE!

You say that life’s a fairy tale, oh darling, tell you what
Lou said “You're one fat fairy,” and he punched me in the gut.

Grow old along with me and you will soon wear a dumb smile
It's not 'cause life’s good, but ‘cause you’re totally senile

I wish the sky was crystal with sugar candy across the plains.
And E.T. drove a bicycle right through my fucking brains.

(bridge)

Oh Rainbow Bridge, Oh Brooklyn Bridge, Oh Bridge Across the Humber!
I’ve written a Bridge Chorus, which could not be any dumber!

....

Shauna, let me tell you what makes life a cheerful thrill.
It’s finger-fucking D-list stars. (Ok, I’m pretty ill!)

I’ll tell you dozy Dublin bint, all religions can live as one.
Try saying “I am Jewish.” Oh, Shauna, then you’ll see some fun!

(sound effect)

BANG, WALLOP, PUNCH, PUNCH, PUNCH, “KIKE BASTARD!” PUNCH, PUNCH, BANG, “SAPRISTI!” PUNCH BANG, WALLOP, SPLASH: “He’s fallen in the water!”

Meet Kristen Johnson, most popular bitch in Upstate New York

Hey, Kristen, I'll show you MINE anytime.

They kicked this nurse out of the medical profession? I'm SURE she's getting a LOT of job offers at this very moment.

Keep your head up, lady.

Kristen, you should be an inspiration to women everywhere. More of them should be pervs like YOU!

Unless I've misread this piece, This Piece, this angel of perversity, LIKES DICK. Likes it so much she has to take pictures.

I mean, she's walking around in those rubber-soled white nurse shoes, sneaking peeks at penises because...IT TURNS HER ON. Right?

Most experts insist porn is a male obsession. Pictures are something that stimulate craven males, while women get turned on more by sweet words, sensual actions, and emotional response.

Yet here's a bitch who is cock-eyed!

Let's remember that Playgirl was bought mostly by gays. Women actually didn't wank themselves to male centerfolds. Fags did. As for women going to male strip clubs, well, that's hen party cluckery, they do it for a laugh, not a turn-on.

Consider all the uppity sluts who are on dating websites and huffing, "Don't send me pictures of your junk." The inference is that while a pussy IS meant to be seen, a cordwangle makes an ugly sight. (I quote an old Syd Rumpo song, and if I don't nobody else will).

Yes, it's justice, I suppose, that Kristen was treated with the same disdain as an upskirt photo creep, a guy sticking a camera in the women's bathroom, or a doctor asking women to disrobe even when examining for a sore throat complaint (and there's a lot of it about). Still, she should've gotten a slap on her moist-fingered wrist.

Being kicked out of the nursing profession for liking to get a glimpse of cock? Aw, Kristen, if you just ASKED. You would've had 'em whipping 'em out on the bus. And on the train. And if you had the binoculars, you could see some guy waving his wang from a bridge. Be it ever so Humber...

Winner of the Ugliest Man and/or Woman Contest

The new Rolling Stone arrived, and as always, there's a page with a list of the hottest songs you MUST listen to. (But how? Not by calling up your radio station. By checking them on Spotify, guyyyyys? Or checking if there's an official video making money for GOOGLE via Gootube??)

#2 on the list is "Drone Bomb Me" by Anohni. No, never heard of that stupid eye-chart name. Oh, no wonder. It turns out to be a made-up name. The surprise was learning it was the new FEMALE name for Antony. Oh, so the asshole is now a twat hole.

Rolling Stone gushed that this morbid song is "darkly devastating..."

Sure. Like it's a trick for any indie jerk to write or sing a downer.

My only surprise was why, in this Gay/Lesbian/Transgender-loving world, where so much of the media is queer, the news of "Antony" becoming "Assholi" or whatever, hasn't gotten nearly the attention of Caitlynn Genital.

I looked once, looked twice. This is now a woman? Was it ever a man, really? I sort of remembered Antony as being a pathetic pudge. Now he's sort of what Adele would look like if she was part weasel. This is one desperate, feral, pointy-nosed blob of Bird's dessert.

So we've got somebody who was an ugly man, and is now an ugly woman? THIS is NOT HOT, no matter which side of the sexual equator you're on.

Really, when you're homely, does it even matter what sex you are? You ain't gettin' laid. Am I right, Knickerless Payne, ye of the girlish hair and the male-hog face?

I checked Ickypedia, and it just gave me the basics I already knew. I remembered, years ago, hearing that Antony and the Johnsons (oh, I got that slang, Antony and the PENISES) was the latest thing in art rock. Like Bumford and Buns was the latest thing in folk rock. Ickypedia told me how this guy won praise, and the albums did well on indie labels, blah blah.

What it didn't say was whether this "transgender" artist is a pretender, or actually is walking around with his balls yanked out and a little bit of his dick bent and twisted into a twat. Or is this a Caitlynn deal, of somebody who is just a "she-male" trick-or-treater dick-and-twatter?

I still don't know, but at this point, don't care. I just think with guyyysss pretending to be girls, either go all the way of shut the fuck up. I have much more sympathy for a Chas Bono, or Bullens. I mean, trying to turn your pussy into a penis is almost ludicrous. It will look fake and it really won't work. Carving a cunt is easier; it's just a hole. It doesn't have to DO anything, and if you want to lessen any orgasm by quaffing quim hormones, that's your problem.

Have you seen post-op female trannies? If you don't look TOO closely, they can pass fairly well. Sort of like xeroxed money. Male to female is cunterfeit, but not as ridiculous as seeing a female trying to pretend what they've got isn't some rubber giblets with gruesomely stitched tubing in the middle.

Anohni (what an ANNOYING name), aka "The Artist Formerly Proud of being a Faggot with a Dick") says you can use either "he" or "she" but SHE would prefer "she." OK.

I doubt his new song will really go anywhere, even with Rolling Stone's fags (Jann Wenner maybe, his own self) pushing it. What a pretentious shoe-gazing shit title it is: "Drone Bomb Me." Look, guyyyy, just walk in front of a bus. Or a train. Life is too much? You really want people to listen to a dreary Diamanda Galas wannabe? Christ, it is so easy to be a downer. It takes no skill at all to write gloom tunes. How many people write funny novelty songs? Almost nobody.

What really disturbed me in my Ickypedia curiosity over this defective cumquat, is that Antony listed his influences as Kate Bush, Alison Moyet and Boy George. Now, of those three cunts, I do like Kate and Alison. And this got me thinking, are my tastes faggy? Is Alison Moyet a fag fave? Are Kate Bush's big round boobies just a joke?

Of course I have nothing against any of the erotic minorities, as long as they shut the fuck up and tone it down a bit. Same goes with all ethnics. When I'm stuck on line I don't want to hear ANY fag talking in italics or any Jamaican or Italian or Hebrew gesticulating stupidly and talking like a fucking moron. BUT...I don't like liking people that only a particular group of idiots like. Especially fags.

At the moment, my appreciation for Alison's overwrought balladry ("When I was Your Girl") her decent covers ("Almost Blue") and wacko overbaked retro folk ("Wraggle Taggle Gypsies") has waned. As for Kate, well, I haven't listened to her whimsical high-pitched baby-prog stuff in years. How many times do you need to hear "Rolling the Ball," and how many times CAN you hear "Cat in Your Lap" or "Pussy Twat" or whatever it was.

Hmmm. So Mr/Ms Transgender likes Kate and Allison. You really know how to ruin shit, Guyyyyyyyy.

Janice "Dick Me" Dickinson Has Cancer? She IS Cancer

Of all the reality show hags and famous-for-nothing twats on the planet, Janice Dickinson might be the worst.

She is the Ebola virus of media whores. You never know when there will be an outburst; you just know it will be ugly.

This gorgon is like Dorian Gray, she gets UGLIER as she gets OLDER. Only unlike Mr. Gray, Ms. Dickinson has not gotten wittier. Just shittier.

Christ is she gruesome. Her face shows the symptoms of a life of immorality, self-entitlement and just plain shit-twatted stinkerhood. What a hag. Or as they call her in France: Merde Haggard.

Look upon this, and despair.

If you're not familiar with the trampy smelly party girl bitch that is Janice Dickinson, well, neither was I for a blessedly long time.

In America in the late 60's and 70's, when Hollywood slut-lets were as plentiful as sweat droplets on Elvis, she was well behind the anchovy pack. Among the better known open sores on the market was Edy Williams, who used to be squired around town by rheumy-eyed ex-Lothario George Jessel, a vaudeville hack who spent most of his life whining that he turned down "The Jazz Singer" and it helped Jolson become a star.

Edy was at least, in her prime, good looking, with a Raquel Welch-type figure. The craven cunt even pushed her way into film work, most notably as the ludicrous vamp ("I'd LOVE to STRAP YOU ON!") in the awful "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls." Her big deal was doing wardrobe malfunctions before they were popular. At any event, Edy might fall out of her gown. Too bad back then you only heard about it, because there was no Internet to show the pictures.

If Janice Dickinher was a popular party girl, fine. Suck cock, charge money if you can, and eventually marry a film executive who doesn't mind being a laughing stock. She became famous, and loathsome, when she screamed and hollered about being made into a sex object by beloved quiz show host Bob Barker. Bob, famously married to his high school sweetie, hosted the stupid game show "The Price is Right." It attracted male viewers by featuring "Barker's Beauties," bimbos who would stand next to dishwashers and lawnmowers and point with orgasmic delight.

Yeah, that was the best Janice No-Talent could manage, and she was such a grinding, ambitious, disgusting witch, she went ballistic in order to get headlines and further herself before her boobs drooped any closer to her fish-pouch.

Put it this way, she was rapidly becoming more hated than Erin "Abusing Groucho" Fleming.

Eventually her lawsuit over being an abused quiz show model beauty failed. Her next grab at easy fame was when Cosby complainants began to gather. Oh, she blew Cosby, or whatever, at a Playboy party or something? Watta surprise (not). While other women may have had reason to be upset with Cosby's fuck 'em and forget 'em attitude, or his habit of handing out pills (at a time when this was pretty common in bars and at Hollywood parties), Janice was no "innocent" party. Especially not after her Bob Barker lawsuit.

She did her best to get on "Entertainment Tonight"-type news shows, to sob and cry about being treated badly by Cosby. This is like a whore handing a $100 bill to the teller, discovering it's counterfeit, and crying "I've been raped."

Loving the spotlight, like a slimy piece of Fried Chicken under the heat lamp at Denny's, this old, old chick always finds some way of calling attention to herself. Now that she's used up the Cosby card, she's come up with "Oooh, I have CANCER!" Yeah, a tiny lump that is nothing.

Why anyone even cares is almost beyond me, but it does seem that ugly fat Adele-loving housewives have more than enough "nice" comments and sympathy for any "celebrity." They have none for their husbands or family, whom they ignore in favor of Keeping up with the Kardashians and moping about every moron the Daily Fail sticks in front of them.

Turning a tiny pea-sized lump in her ugly droopy chest into a major disaster, she went bawling to the Daily Fail who rewarded her with full coverage, as long as she could sob for the camera.

Yes, all Janice had to do was turn on the crocodile tears (as she did in recounting how Cosby had sex with her and never did get her a guest spot on his TV show), and dozens of idiot readers were ready to cry "Poor Janice" and "Be Brave."

Who the fuck cares if this ugly old bitch has a small lump? Go tell it to a dignified sexy woman like Angelina Jolie. Tell it to Tom Hanks' wife Rita Wilson. They had much worse and didn't need to go bleating to the fucking Daily Fail and booking a reality show.

I've quote Mr. Gebler quite a few times: "It isn't just homosexuals who don't like women. Nobody likes them."

It's not exactly fair (why, there are plenty of likable women, just as there are plenty of non-violent followers of Islam). But in the case of a grasping, conniving, evil bitch like Janice Dickinson, who did nothing but give head to get ahead, and use her clam-trap to ensnare those she would then call worms (ones who didn't pay her enough or do her enough favors), then yes. If this is womanhood, no wonder there are misogynists.

Janice Cancerous Dickinson. OK. I'll quote a song line from Jakob Dylan: "I wish you health, but absolutely nothing else."

So I hope you get over cancer, and get hit by a bus. And then a train. And then another bus.

EPIC IDLE: Slimy Towel & Seacrests Vomit-Gurgle Show is DEAD

FINALLY. "American Idol" is going to END.

If I'm being honest, I am disappointed.

Disappointed it took FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS.

It's seemed, in the 16 miserable years of the 21st Century, that we could all agree on Millennials having ADT, and that with multi-tasking and brain mutations, NOTHING lasts too long.

Dido had a hit first album and was a has-been after the second.

Every few months the cellphone is out of date. Every other day you have to download an update for something. A hot nightclub is cold in no time.

YET...abominable pieces of shit TV, like "American Idol" or "Survivor" or "Dancing with the Stars" go on much longer than anyone could imagine. I still can't believe people STILL care about the Kuntrashians. So what happened to finally flush "American Idol" down the tubes?

No, that was a rhetorical question. I'm just glad it's gone. Not that it HURTS me if it's still on, but you never know, they could have another wog jackass like Sanjaya become a media sensation for being a bad singer, or they could discover another pudgy country-rock slob, or unleash another pretentious screaming fag like the one who is now Freddie Mercury's replacement in Queen.

Once in a while, I'd tune in the show, usually early in the season, to watch the judges make fun of the absolutely ridiculous, self-absorbed off-key Shauna Cuntwell MORONS who'd audition, but that got old pretty quick.

One year, I happened to catch an "all women's" night, and figuring there might be some exciting TWAT on view (well, cleavage and a pretty face), I tuned in. That's when I discovered the buoyant, ebullient multi-octave wacko Siobhan Magnus, who amazed me for a few weeks and then was thrown off. I did support her and bought her CD. She was the exception (if you ignored the tattoos). I didn't watch because usually it was trite shit and people imitating vocalists who were imitating vocalists, and who should've been run over by bus, then a train, then another bus to make sure they were flattered, literally.

NO MORE! Just knowing that Slimy Towel can't promote another car-alarm bitch, or inflict another goofy-faced fag or some other drip on the world is enough. Knowing over-achieving metrosexual twat Ryan Scumcrest has one less place to prance is good enough (he is EVERYWHERE on American TV, even taking over New Year's Eve from the late Dick Clark).

Hopefully "The Voice" will die off, too. It seems retarded redneck twats love that show because one of the coaches is "hunk" Blake Shelton. They'd love to suck his cock all the way down and nuzzle their noses in the manure-and-hay of his pubes. They also seem titillated that he dumped his cuntry singer wife Miranda Lambsmell, and is now dating the aging slut-face Gwen Stefani, who is also a coach on the show. My my, what drama.

Bad howler-monkey shows. Is this really the only way we break new "talent?" By seeing who can imitate Mariah or Rihanna or Viley or Sam Smith the Wimp? Maybe some decent alternative will replace awful "talent" shows on TV, but Millennials have no idea what talent is, and rock is pretty much dead. Face it, the chances of hearing anyone perform a good rock song are very low these days, and one reason is the formula is worn out.

What we have is shit pop music for tweens...the One Direction, Bieber, Ariana Thimble-slit stuff. That, and predictable banal ballad baboons like Adele and the Harry Connick or Sam Smith load of the day. Otherwise it's RAP.

What's pathetic is when Rolling Stone reviews rap and raves about Kendrick Lamar or Kanye West for their "beats" and their brilliant egocentric cursing and bragging.

PS, don't think the death of "American Idol" proves the American public has tired of Slimy Towel and his arch, tarty insult games. The Queen in the too-tight little boy t-shirt hired himself to replace Howard Stern on "America's Got Talent." We'll see if that predictable idiot show suffers a rating decline, proving that Mr. Towel is a liability, and a show that's already become tiresome will only seem moreso with his reptillian grinning, coy glances, and very boring pronouncements. "America's Got Talent" dropping dead like "American Idol?" We can only hope.

"ENTITLED" to sue a CELEBRITY for NO REASON

The "trending" topics today? Two neutral pieces of crap. The obligatory photo of horrendously ugly Bruce FREAKFACE Jenner (aka "Caitlynn") and...

...two tales of moneygrubber assholes suing celebrities.

And you think the sense of ENTITLEMENT in the world can't get worse.

Tom Hanks and his singer wife Rita Wilson? They raised a spoiled brat. This is the jerk who was threatening Howard Stern some time ago. Maybe they were busy and left the brat with a nanny too much, but maybe this kid was a bad seed. Even good parents raise rotten shits.

Whatever, the kid is an adult. The kid got into a car accident or something. Whatever it is, this is an adult. Why sue the parents? Oh, because THEY are rich and famous.

Next?

Some fuckhead insists he's the bastard of William Shatner. What a thing to brag about. Not content with calling himself "Peter Shatner" when he's legally NOT, and trying to make money off this, he's now suing. Suing for what? MILLIONS. But why? On what grounds? NONE but ENTITLEMENT.

The other day, a very sad story emerged. Compare the Shatner bastard story to this.

Some psycho bitch thought to be dead, turned up in the South (naturally) very much alive. The twat had three children and simply walked out on them 40 years ago. She didn't want to be mommy no more.

The children were raised by grandmum. They figured mommy had died. By a fluke, somebody uncovered her real identity and she didn't deny who she was. After some negotiating, one daughter managed to get on the phone with her, thinking maybe they could meet after 40 fucking years.

Guess what. Mommy didn't want to see her kid. She didn't even want to be on the phone too long, as she had other things to do. The kid said, "OK, I consider my mother dead."

BUT SHE DIDN'T SUE.

And yet, 86 year-old Shatner's bastard has gone to court, wanting to be set for life. His mother never sued for child support. The jerk is now an adult (in his 50's). How is this guy ENTITLED to money? Because of his sense of ENTITLEMENT, that's all.

Fortunately Shatner, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are all rich enough to fight shakedowns like this. Celebs are constantly hit with cases like this. What's fucked up is that these are usually filed not by con artists who figure a nuisance suit can get them an easy settlement, but by arrogant jerks who truly believed they are ENTITLED to put their hand in somebody else's pocket.

The jerk suing Tom Hanks is not "Big." And the prick suing Shatner wants to boldly go where no man has gone before...into court and to victory. He's a cling-on. A jerk. A maggot. A parasite. It would be nice if a judge said, "Bend over, roll up your papers and file them up your fat greedy ass."

Media Spin: Mean Cops Kill "Unarmed" Man -- who WAS armed

Don't trust the media.

"They're just out to capture my dime," Mr. Paul Simon once sang. It's the truth.

What makes a story that'll get a lot of hits? How about the good ol' "Cop Kills Unarmed Man" item? That never misses. (And neither did the cop, har har.)

Under blazing headlines about COP KILLS UNARMED MAN, we find all this bilge and bullshit about some poor redneck asshole who got offed. It sure reads like he's a real sweetie.

Who doesn't feel sorry for a fat-faced cock-eyed jerk who likes to shoot rifles and kill birds? And who has some flinty-faced bitch to bang during his spare time?

Gee, all he did was RECKLESSLY POINT A RIFLE OUT A HOTEL WINDOW.

It caused enough alarm for SOMEBODY TO CALL THE COPS.

Hey, Fat-Face would still be alive if only the cops never bothered to show up. Heck, the cops should've stayed at the station house eating donuts or something.

The REAL story, filtered through the Media Spin, starts like this:

"The night of his death, Shaver had invited a man and woman at the hotel to his room for drinks..."

Huh? Mr. Family man (wife and two kiddies) is drinking with strangers? What's he drinking? What's he got planned?

"After some shots of rum, the man asked Shaver about a case that appeared to hold a musical instrument. Shaver opened it to reveal a pellet gun and dead sparrow inside."

OH. We've got a drunken redneck who is rummed up and bragging about how he kills birds. This fuckhead even keeps one as a souvenir. He's bragging about how part of his "job" is to kill birds when they happen to fly through an open window or door at Wal-Mart. Yeeeee hah!

WHAT kind of fucking job is this? Wal-Mart hires somebody to shoot birds and potentially kill a customer with a ricochet? They'll ask this asshole to drive to any Wal-Mart in the state when there's a report of a bird flying around? Really?

Back to the story. The Media Spin continues to make it seem like the cops were out for blood:

"When police found Shaver, they warned him that he “may not survive” if he did anything that could be considered a threat...Shaver appeared to making small jerking motions while he had his hands behind his back. An officer yelled at him, “If you do that again, we are shooting you. Do you understand?” “No, please don’t shoot me,” Shaver said...sobbing.”

What if we spin this the other way? We've got a drunken redneck coward who was very brave about rumming it up and showing off his rifle to strangers. Now he's sobbing. He's on the ground, he's being told "DON'T move" and "DON'T" and warned AGAIN. So what's he do? He moves his hand toward his waist. Does this fuckhead have a derringer in there? Some pepper spray? He's been TOLD that if keeps on MOVING he is going to be SHOT.

"Previous reports have indicated Shaver may have been drunk at the time of the shooting — despite telling officers he was not — and possibly did not understand police orders. Shaver’s autopsy report has not been released."

What do you do if you're the cop? Wait for this fuckhead to pull some kind of weapon? How about a knife going into your eye and disabling you for life? The brave, brave Spinners in the media are insisting this guy was unarmed. He could've been. Whether it's Trayyyyvon or THIS putz, you don't take chances with somebody unless they are NAKED.

And if this jerk was ordered to strip naked and prove he was unarmed, imagine the trouble.

What are the cops supposed to do? Each grab an arm and a leg and haul the bastard out? And risk being accused of manhandling the jerk? What if the guy makes a sudden move for that knife in his waistband, or the vial of acid, and does some damage?

And so in a split second, one of the cops had enough of the redneck with the rifle and his herky-jerky antics and his attempts at reaching for his waist, and unloaded on him, and didn't fucking stop. A bit of, uh, overkill? Maybe. Maybe he should've aimed for the guys legs and then waited to see if the guy went for the knife that might've been tucked in his waistband?

The fact is, this story was spun. It was fictionalized. It was slanted. It was headlined as a situation where the cop had no reason to shoot at all, as if the cop had a fucking x-ray machine and knew this redneck was totally unarmed.

That's media spin, and it's as inflammatory and disgusting as a boil on a bulldog's butt.

Fat Stupid Adele has a Beard, which amuses her Fat Stupid Twat Fans

Christ, there's no end to the Nightmare Ninnies.

It's these self-important air-headed twats like A Dull, Viley Virus and Kim Kuntrashian who mince around thinking their every burp and fart is IMPORTANT.

And guess what, in the world of Millennials and Morons, it is. All Adele has to do is say "I've got a hemorrhoid," and she'll get 500 "nice" comments on the Daily Fail: "Chin up!" "Be brave!" "We're behind you!" "It happens to everyone!"

And the one person who says "Who cares" gets a zillion dislikes and death threats.

At first I thought the big deal was Adele was admitting to "a beard," as in: a partner of the opposite sex who is just around to fake that the star is heterosexual. You know, the way Will "Black Lives Matter at the Oscars" Smith is supposed to be a black cocksucker and his wife Pinkitty-Stinkitty-Uppity is a black carpet-muncher.

Nope, this fat ugly bellowing freak of fatness actually GROWS a beard. What a surprise she has hormone problems. What a surprise that her fat ugly stupid fans can relate to this. Most of them are women so repulsive they look like men, with or without beards above or below.

So what does this cow do, hire some fag at $500 an hour to cream her face (no, not THAT way) and shave her legs? Can this monster who can barely bend over even shave her own twat? Or is her grotesque cave of wet bats and greasy roaches actually festooned with sopping black curls like spiders in olive oil?

GOOGLE employees eat Hearty. You eat SHIT

We all know that most any dull nerd working for GOOGLE makes a six figure salary. You can sit behind a computer somewhere in a GOOGLE compound, babble and write about statistical analysis and ratios, or work on new sneaky products to rival GOOGLE GLASSES, and nobody bothers you. You can be a techie at GOOTUBE and make a fortune, while all the creative people uploading stuff get pennies, if anything.

Ah, you sing, "I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love." Yeah? The GOOGLE drones and parasites LOVE working there. Because, it's true, it's true, they get fabulous pensions, they get to spend time in the custom-designed gyms, they get breaks to talk gibberish to other drones, and while you and I struggle for the money to buy groceries, and suffer the miseries of having a rare dinner out ruined by screaming brats in a cheap diner...GOOGLE employees get a wide variety of gourmet meals...FREEEEEEE.

Yes, the company that makes sure you get pirated movies, books and music FREEEEEE, makes sure their pampered employees even get FREEEEEEE food. If you're lucky enough to work for a book or magazine publisher, or run a record store that isn't in debt, YOU have to brown bag it. YOU are lucky if you can dash out and get crappy take-away food. Not so with GOOGLE, as the employees tell you:

You don't want to read more of that shit. It's too nauseating. It's like reading "oooh, she's SO beautiful" comments on Kim Kuntrashian articles in the London Daily Fail.

ISIS destroys people listening to a rock concert in a Paris club. They couldn't get anywhere NEAR one of these GOOGLE compounds where some dullards whine because there's too much esoteric and healthy FREE FOOD.

GOOTUBE pays pennies to creative people. The average optimistic fool might spend a week to create some little cartoon or song they hope will "go viral." They starve. GOOGLE employees get FREE FOOD.

The other day a rights owner told me that it's impossible to take down all the piracy he sees. It eats up too much time and the amount he'd make if HE upped his work wouldn't be worth it. He's a victim of Hansy and Zinfart types who like "nice" comments, or who are retired on the government teat and simply giggle at having a few dollars more in their Paypal account. Scab bastards.

He also told me there are now weasel companies (like the ones that will charge a fortune to place your vanity eBook on Amazon and your ssssoooooo wonnnnderful soooonnng on iTunes and eMusic) that will "re-arrange rights" for you. Huh? It works this way: you own licensing on The Christer the Blister Show. Allow the weasel company to work as a collection agency and find violations. The agency then goes to GooTube and says, "There's a violation. Tell the uploader that all monetization now goes to US." And they do. GooTube still makes most of the money, and the pennies in royalties they dole out get split between the weasel company and the actual rights owner.

And the bad news? I heard: "The problem is the items I own don't make enough for me to sign up with a company like that. They want volume business and only work with places like "The Tonight Show" or Warner Bros. What can I do? I can't make money uploading it, I can't make money licensing it." So go sell t-shirts. Or better yet, go into the food catering business. I hear the brats at Google can always hire someone to provide them with bigger slices of pie.

Grannysfoodyum - Ebay Parasites and Graverobbers

Oh, THAT didn't take long.

An eBay parasite named GRANNYSFOODYUM who steals photos, dupes them, and sells them without ANY permission, quickly upped eleven "reprint" autographed photos on Patty Duke.

Here's hoping this seller gets sepsis and dies. I mean it. It would be no loss at all.

What a maggot. If it would be possible to grab this jerk by the hair and slam the ugly creep's face against a wall a few times, it would be time well spent.

Do you like the line where these stolen, illegal dupe photos would make a nice CHRISTMAS gift?

It's fucking MARCH.

But that's how brainless zombie deadheaded shits are. All they do is scan the obits and then download autographed photos and add RIP and REPRINT and flood eBay. And eBay is so full of parasitic empty-skulled drones and scummy fuckhead "executes" in San Jose, none would even think of stopping someone from being a graverobber. There's no rule to say "if reported, we will ask you to show us your signed licensing agreement to duplicate photos of celebrities."

Nope, it would be up to Sean Astin, or one of Patty's other sons, or perhaps her husband, to pause in grieving to send in takedown requests. They don't even KNOW that this shit is going on and nobody would tell them. It's goofy "fans" who flock to eBay to get a souvenir, and who sometimes fall for parasites selling buttons, bumper stickers or "reprint" photos.

Some eBay sellers do not allow people to ask them questions. This seller is one of those. Why? Because this seller would be getting a lot of angry "What the FUCK are you doing?" complaints from fans of Patty Duke.

Grannysfoodyum. Hope you choke. Hope you die. When you do, guess what, shit-brain, NOBODY will want a reprint autograph of YOUR ugly demented face.

Some GOOGLE Asshole makes $100 million a year

What could anyone do that's worth $100 million a year?

Especially at Google?

How many rotten schemes to cheat copyright owners can you come up with? "Hmm, let's see, let's make people go through hoops sending a takedown to Blogspot, or YouTube. Let's make sure that if some author doesn't want a Google Cloud downloading her books so that wog-shits from Sri Lanka can make $5 a title on eBay, we publish her complaint on a "Chilling Effects" website so that they can "get even" with her." Any other bright ideas, Mr. One Hundred Million?

"Why don't we give people just a few pennies, like Spotify does, for their "hard work" in uploading to Google? Why don't we festoon uploads with tedious ads so that to see one minute of a YouTube novelty you must sit through 30 seconds of a jerky ad? Let's take a high percentage on Google Wallet transactions, our attempt at being Paypal. Let's be sure to let slimeballs and pornographers use our service after Paypal banned them. Hmm, what else can we do that's nasty?"

Go ahead and brainstorm. Sit around all day thinking vile thoughts, and be sure to take plenty of coffee breaks (having Starbucks lattes flown in by fucking drone).

Does THAT guy look very intelligent to you? He looks like he's issuing a fatwa.

Considering what the presidents of countries get, which is often barely $100,000, why is THIS bastard making ONE HUNDRED MILLION??

Herr Eric Schmidt's still got the record, raking in $108.7 million in 2014.

All the fine young cannibals on the Internet insist that songwriters and authors and cartoonists and writers all make a fortune, and so it's great to steal from them. People cheer "Google is Your Friend," because the search engine leads them to tons of piracy sites. Hell, Google doesn't even care if it leads its lambs to the slaughter: all those malware sites that pretend to offer porn, software crack codes and streaming PPV shows.

Remember when everyone loved Google because unlike AltaVista and other idiot search engines, you could actually find things, and not just see endless porn sites with the names YOU searched stuck in them? Google quickly began a corrupt extortion scheme where people had to PAY to make sure their legit websites were placed ahead of bogus ones. How LOVELY.

People rationalize that it's ok to steal movies and books and music because Sony and the RIAA and Random House make money. Well, how many CEO's in those places make ONE HUNDRED MILLION? How many businesses treat their employees to free gym time, free snacks, and hours off to sit around and jerk off and be Millennial loafers?

For SOME people, the 21st Century ain't shite at all. But they ain't "sharing" the ONE HUNDRED MILLION, the way everyone's supposed to "share" the latest album some indie rock group made with their life savings.

Ben Innes, Ultimate Millennial Moron - And Proud Of It

There are some legit British clowns out there, like Ben Elton and Neil Innes, but BEN INNES is truly a pathetic and laughable asshole.

Christ, what's the first thing YOU would do if you were held hostage, if you were in a car accident, if you were at the scene of a massive church fire. TAKE A SELFIE? ASK SOMEBODY TO TAKE PHOTO AS A SOUVENIR?

Sure, if you're a MILLENNIAL. They think that the world is one big fucking Disney theme park. Nothing is real, is it? Let's all hop aboard a tour bus at Universal studios and see the Psycho house. Better yet, treat the Psycho world as one big laugh.

What a grinning meat-faced jerk. Does he think this is even a flattering photo? So many people who pose in front of a burning building, or stand next to a D-Lister, wear an expression that suggests "ASSHOLE" and they DON'T GET IT.

Too bad the glowering nut with the dynamite didn't take out a knife and slice Ben's throat for him. As in: "You think this is funny? A joke?"

Who in their right mind would ask to take a selfie with a hummus-face who just MIGHT blow up the plane?

Hell, Ben Innes, the Millennial, couldn't even conceive of that. "Hey, lemme take a photo with you! THIS IS SO COOL!" No, the people who know this moron can't claim that he was trying to psych out the Muzzie crazy man in any way, or stall for time, or make the suicidal shit-brain think twice about ending it all. It was just an empty-headed "look, it's somebody FAMOUS" gesture of a fuckhead who has to steal the spotlight: someone's the center of attention, let ME get some of it, too!

Even Bill Hoobastank wouldn't be this stupid. He would've been crapping his nappy. He might've wanted a photo with the guy AFTER they landed and before the guy was taken off to jail.

Ben the Asshole is a Leeds health and safety worker. Great. Leeds doesn't know anything about health or safety, hiring HIM. Ben was probably aboard that EgyptAir plane in Cyprus hoping for some kind of "adventure" he could tell the drunks back at his favorite pub at home.

Anything to call attention to yourself, right Ben? Why not go all the way, like a Kardashian. Go suck a black dick.

Yoko - It was 61 Years Ago She Lit a Match!

Yoko-bird offered a Tweet today: a copy of a "poem" she wrote 61 years ago.

How can you NOT follow such a lovable eccentric?

She's gotta remind you that she was nuts well before it was fashionable.

Of course, as always, she's got a point. You strike a match, and you go light a candle, light a cigarette, or put it under a white man's fingers (if you're Muslim).

How many stop and light a match and sit there and watch it till it burns out? Or burns your fucking thumb?

Look, lighting a candle and watching it for a while and then getting bored and doing something else, is one thing.

Lighting a stove and pausing a moment to admire the blue flame, is another thing.

But, man, it's something ELSE to light a match and watch it burn down into your flesh!

Yoko would affirm: it's an experience! Feel your own pain...at being hoodwinked by Yoko Ono into burning your thumb!

To be fair (and this is the fucking LIBRA of blogs), less than a day ago, Yoko treated us to one of her better observational affirmations:

"Don't get rid of negative emotion, but just use it... like the salt in your food."

Ain't this one salty blog?

Dave Chapelle Laughs at Bruce Jenner's Ugly Cunt Face

Thanks, Dave. Nigga be jokin' on Bruce Jenner's sorry ass, yo.

When Kylie Nigga-Lips Jenner turned up with her boy-toy Tigga Tyga to see Dave in action, Dave couldn't resist ad-libbing some nasty shit about Kylie's retarded egomaniac Daddy-freak.

Looks like Kylie-Slut needs a few pounds of air pumped into her head. Dave's set deflated her weak brain. Kylie-Slut seems to think all niggas worship all white goddesses, even "Caitlynn," who was once male.

Hopefully SOMEBODY recorded Dave's entire blast and will up it to GooTube. "Ya hadda be there," 'cause Harvey "Fagin" Levin's dorky guffawing TMZ brat-boys and frat-boys didn't exactly report the story that well.

SO far, all we've got are three Shauna assholes who are TMZ wanna-be's and upped "Dave Chappelle Jokes about Caitlyn Jenner" "news" items. Yeah, in front of cheap microphones and with no skill, they simply read from Buzzfart or Huffy Pissed or Daily Yeast. Christ, is GooTube getting so clogged up with time-wasting 200-view LOSERS.

Meanwhile, this is that they're reading from

Really, look at that stupid-looking "Caitlynn" monster. How delusional to think something like THAT is attractive. It's barely even female, really.

Speaking of niggas calling the transgender-pot black, this brings up an interesting question. What if Brooooose had decided to change COLOR, not gender?

How fucking accepting do you think niggas would've been if Broooooose emerged from skin-darkening and lip-thickening and nose-flattening, and called himself Tyrone Jenner?

When he accepted the ESPN Award (somehow wearing panties is now a sport), he "joked" to the women in the audience that he hoped his outfit was well-coordinated because, heh-heh, "I'm new to this." Like, "I'm just learning how to be female, so bear with me, if my voice goes low once in a while, or I wear flats with a cocktail dress or something."

Imagine if he began talkin' in dialect, and said "Homeys, I'm new to this jive. I'm blackin' up as fast as I can, but I've been 66 years a honky!"

No, I don't think black people would be amused. Why then, should women be amused or even supportive of a fool who is a caricature of them? This is NOT a woman. Never was, never will be, and unlike real transgenders, Brooooose still has his BROOOOOSE part.

This Caitlynn freak isn't walking around saying he should be accepted as a He-She, or She-Male, or any other porn term for somebody with "Tits and a Dick." He insists he's a WOMAN, but hasn't even got a cunt carved into him. NOW and other female organizations should be spitting on this shit, and also demanding that their ladies rooms remain for THEM, and not for every Lola that comes strutting in wearing a bra over his hairy chest.

Thanks, Dave. Anything that makes a Kardashian pout is good. Anything that would make a Kardashian go away would be great. And if you found words that could make Kylie Jenner just fucking put a gun up her cunt and blow herself away, that would be Nirvana. (As in Cunt Cobain Nirvana).

Cilla B: "I hope that wasn't rude!"

Isn't the Times Square Blow-Up Just a Matter of Time?

Not that long ago, a Muzzie cretin tried to blow up a car in the middle of Times Square.

Imagine the fucking damage.

The media had a big laugh, because Abdul bin Hummus locked himself out of the car and the cops arrested him.

Here's another ho-ho. A Muslim got arrested again for wearing his all-American copyright-stealing SPIDERMAN outfit to get money out of tourists and BEAT WOMEN.

Lovely fellow. He pled "Not Guilty."

The judge slapped that Muzzie wrist, almost hard enough for a trace of pink to emerge from the hummus-brown.

To wildly paraphrase a Nick Lowe song title...

WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT A CRAZY ARAB IN A COSTUME BEATING UP WOMEN IN TIMES SQUARE?

Well, big dummy Bill De Blasio, the shark-faced corrupt moron who is mayor of New York City, has a perverse sense of humor.

This includes using his brats in campaign ads, giving his misshapen housemaid-homely wife a half a million dollars in "assistants" to help her sashay around as "first lady" and attend banquets, and other corrupt and nepotistic shit.

Laughing Boy Bill admitted the other day that NYC has an epidemic of SLASHINGS. This is the new Nigga game. Nigga be running up to a white woman, slashes her face, and races away. He trusts the blurry CCTV cameras won't get a good image of him. He can always claim, "Yo, dat ain't me, we all look alike to you white devils." He can use that phrasing, too, because Niggas can always use racial epithets and get away with it. One Nigga got caught and even admitted he targeted white women. Think his sentence will be one day longer for that?

Funny, ha ha, that a HACK politician can't do anything about SLASHINGS.

But I digress.

Times Square's unsavory new menace IS "aggressive" monkey immigrants wearing super-hero and cartoon character costumes (without ANY authorization from copyright owners) and shaking down tourists. Some tourists think these creeps are part of some city service, or a Disney or Marvel promotion, and figure they can get a picture free. Then they get verbally threatened or even punched if they don't pay a FIVERRRRRR.

Bottom line, what happens if El-Khezzani gets fed up with making a mere $200 or more a day doing nothing, straps a bomb to his costume, and blows himself up in Times Square and takes 200 people with him?

We have MUSLIMS in COSTUMES in TIMES SQUARE, folks. There are jerks in Times Square who show up as the fucking Statue of Liberty, complete with a huge platform to stand on. It's EASY to bring a backpack full of explosives with you into "the Crossroads of the World."

It's easy for a Muslim to set up in Times Square and NOT have the cops even notice. Did anyone notice those fucking brothers who left backpacks at the Boston Marathon?

What a fucking laugh, a stupid TWAT of a judge, ignoring a Muzzie having punched a woman, and instead lecturing him with baseball talk. Do you think this hummus-faced pile of camel shit even knows what "three strikes and you're out" means? Does he speak any English beyond "Not guilty" and "Allah Akbar?"

Spidermuslim! What a fine, fine addition to Times Square. Hey, Bill Hoobastank, go down and get your photo with him. You're used to paying $20 for nothing. Imagine your thrill when you walk away and hear a sudden explosion, and watch body parts flip towards you. You can take dozen and dozens of pictures and upload them to your Photofukkit account.

Bill Maher and Predictions That Came True

Mr. Maher and I both are disgusted by religion and PSYCHICS.

However, he did find some predictions made back in the 80's that came true.

I've done some screencaps for you.

Keeping up with Kardashian Blasphemy

Sorry, this IS an incomplete report.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, this was too disgusting to do more than glimpse at. Hardcore porn is rarely as disgusting as this:

This was in the Huffington Post, so Christ only knows what the Daily Fail or some other asswipe rag did with it.

Seeing Kloying and her moron leaving a limo was more than enough. I didn't scroll around to see MORE pictures of the rest of the monsters arriving. I didn't want to read any pious quotes from Yeezy on why he's betta dan Jeezy. I didn't want to ponder which of Freak-girl Jenner's spoiled brats was sporting the bigger nigga-lips.

Did you know the Kuntrashians all go to CHURCH? Really? Do they think they've ever sinned? Like, with entire basketball teams?? How can showing naked selfies to the entire Internet be immodest? Since when are the 7 deadly sins really deadly, and is it ok if you don't know how to count?

What a fucking line: "Easter services...with...the Kardashian clan at the California Community Church." Does that "church" double as a whore house and marijuana dispensary?

This Khloe collagen monster gets more nigga-lipped every day. Eventually she'll need a counter-weight down her back so she'll stand up straight and her lips won't droop.

She appears to be wearing an oh-so-fashionable Easter bonnet. A slouchy hat that looks like Lamar came on it a few times. As for Mr. Odor, who doesn't go to CHURCH in sweats, carrying a Starbucks coffee? Nice to see he's over his overdose and is no longer brain-damaged.

What, no pictures of the Kuntrashians rolling Easter eggs? Or was that closed off and only to be filmed for their "reality" show? You know, the fabulous "North" West and her little brother toddling around in $500 baby shoes, with $2,000 baby sealskin scarves and mittens made out of Nazi artifact tanned Jew skin?

Now you can say that you saw the Easter Bummer.

There's Kardashians; THERE IS NO GOD.

Putting the TWAT in TWATTER

Oh, well, let's STOP huffing about eBay. That's for amateurs, those sorry bitches trying to sell smelly knickers for $20, or e-mailing some photos for $2 or $5.

Nevermind those pathetic fatties who promise to send a "thank you" note if you give 'em a donation of $10 just because they pose naked in thongs with their giant asses sticking out.

Forget Farcebook, too. Worse than eBay they have no sneaky "adult" area and don't allow nudity AT ALL! That Suckerberg Jew and his Japanese wife are SUCH prudes.

Thank JESUS for TWATTER. Twatter is where whores troll for customers. Where porn "stars" preen. And gosh, it's EASTER. What a time for Christian masochists to donate to some porn actress and cosplay queen from Canada.

Wuz da fok?

TWATTER being used to draw people to a porn site? To get people to buy sex clips on ANOTHER porn site?

How nice that this little lady (she boasts she's only five feet tall, a petite "goddess") offers a Sunday greeting, just like a nun. Sort of.

Anything else, for Easter?

You bet! She is in cahoots with bozo Jeff Bezos. Forget about eBay's ridiculous amateurs who ask you to buy from them. THIS lady TELLS you to GIVE HER STUFF. For NOTHING. As she Tweets, with a link to guide you, she has her own AMAZON account, and guyyyyyysss, you should just give her stuff because you're worthless and she's...got da twat!

Unfuckingbelievable. And this is TWATTER, a "social media" super-site. It supposedly distances itself from outright smutzones and whore places like AshleyMadison or Craigslist. This is where parents figure it's safe for the kiddies to leave opinions and follow Bieber and troll around and discover the world.

They accidentally (or on purpose) find utter Hustler-Screw level porn like this.

When we were growing up, "Goddess" was reserved for a Brigitte Bardot or a Raquel Welch or a Farrah Fawcett. All you saw was a poster. Maybe a movie where your goddess was in her undies, or a swim suit. Who knew about jerking off to fantasies that even Sacher-Masoch would find repulsive?

Oh, back in the primitive 20th Century, you had to REALLY be an adult to get porn. A store owner might be very tough on a pimply high schooler, requiring an ID just to allow the sale of Playboy. What a laughable and quaint era.

And people wonder why the Millennials are such monsters. Look at what they've been exposed to from when they were old enough sit in front of a computer.

THIS lady has her own website of course, and fills it up with information for desperate Hoobastanks who worship her (just as they worship D-list has-been 80-somethings on FARCEBOOK).

What's up? Your dick, Bill? Reading that she MAY be making more pornies and could use a masochist who'll make a fool of himself freeeeee?

There's a fetish, the term actually escapes me, that involves financial masochism. You're supposed to find pleasure in sending a check or a Paypal "donation" to some bitch who TELLS you to. She's not even Skyping. She's got a clip for sale, and you pay $10 to watch it, and aside from insults, she also declares you have to prove you're worth spitting on by sending her money. For nothing. Because she told you. And she's wearing a suspender belt or something.

And so, let's discuss a new form of worship on this hideously ridiculous "religious holiday." Today in honor of Easter, some Muslim asshole blew up a bunch of women and children in Pakistan. A spic tortured the Easter bunny. And you can bet various pious Christians like Ted Cruz were off cheating on their wives and husbands in hotel rooms (leaving Sunday morning church on some excuse or other about taking the afternoon off).

And what IS another religion? It's twat worship. It's taking seriously some pint-size bitch on Twatter, to the point of gifting her Amazon "wish list" account. It's why 92 year-old Sumner Redstone pays $5,000 a month to have some bimbo on retainer to lap dance and break his hip. It's why Rupert Merde-Cock got married again. Mere mortals worship what they don't know, can't understand, and is rarely in front of them. That's either God or CUNT.

Worship in church, getting on your knees, giving away your money to the collection plate, and you walk out mildly purged. Worship some twat on a porn clip, or in person, and you're much more fully purged (or so they tell me).

"Easter bunny or slut pussy?" I'd like to see you do a sermon on that, Rev. (This bitch could do one, but she'd be wearing a dildo like Viley Virus and charging $10 to download the clip!)

Should we Spic of Easter "Fun?" Muzz we?

Oh, let's NOT keep blaming Muslims for every atrocity.

Topping the leaderboard for today's celebration of Easter is a spic who merely swung a rabbit by the ears, gave it a blunt-force trauma death, and then set it on fire.

Can you top THAT one, today, Muzzies?

Oops. Sure you can. How about 65 Pakistani, mostly women and children, blown up by a cowardly Muslim at a park? See, the women and kids were enjoying Easter Sunday, but if you're a MUSLIM, that's an OUTRAGE. Christians are not allowed to live in peace. Why, they're almost as bad as Jews.

ISIS wasn't involved in this one, it was the good ol' Taliban. Their idea is simple enough: fear God and fear those who represent God on Earth. That's the strict, conservative, hypocritical world of the Taliban. Guys can rape and loot and kill, especially if it's against some other religion. Women and children definitely have to live like prisoners. Or as Jimmy Carter said when asked why he didn't tell his Arab pals to stop the genital mutilation of women: "It's their culture."

Fine culture.

So, white people in general, and Christians in particular, worry about Easter Sunday. Is nothing sacred? Allah yes, everybody else's beliefs, NO.

So, a Sunday stroll in the park, or maybe taking in a Mariah Carey concert? Not so fast!

Let's just take a tip from Polyanna Scarlett O'Hara. Maybe tomorrow there won't be some rabbit-torturing spic playing games tomorrow, or a mass-bombing from some retard promised virgins in heaven. "Tomorrow's gonna be another day: "After all, tomorrow is another day."

Eubank wins title of "Nostril King" added to "Zombie Bastard"

One of the more despicable monsters in boxing is Chris Eubank Jr., a well known zombie bastard. Or it it heartless robot?

There aren't many in the sport as cold-blooded and arrogant as this coconut-headed snake. Here he is, coolly standing around after his latest victory, showing off his giant nostrils.

Sugar Ray Leonard, he ain't.

This guy WON the fight, and he looks like he just drank a quart of blood and is ready to go out and rape a grandmother.

By contrast, Nick Blackwell, former champ, had this expression in defeat.

It's the difference between a sportsman and an assassin. At the moment, Nick is in a coma, with the possibility he'll need brain surgery. He collapsed not long after the doctor called off the fight in the 10th round, due to the severe swelling to his eye.

Just what is wrong with this Chris Eubank Jr prick, I have no idea. His father, by contrast, is a decent, soft-spoken gent. Does Eubank Jr. take after his mother, the cunt?

An irony here is that, dressed immaculately in a black suit and tie, Eubank climbed into the ring after the ninth round to council is son NOT to behave like a stone-cold killer:

"The next time you throw a flurry like that, if the referee doesn’t stop it then I don’t know what to tell you. I will tell you this, if he doesn’t stop it and we keep on beating him like this he’s getting hurt. Why hasn’t the referee stopped the fight? I don’t get why. So maybe you shouldn’t leave it to the referee. You’re not going to take him out to the face so take him out to the body."

Yes, though Blackwell was landing a punch now and then, Eubank's father figured nothing thrown would hurt his son. He felt it would be more humane to take it easy, spar, and if anything spend the last three rounds on body punches, rather than blind Chris in one eye, or perhaps do unseen brain damage.

I'm not sure that Junior followed his father's instructions or not. It didn't seem like he did. And after the fight was over, he barely walked over to Blackwell for a cursory five second "Good fight" or "You'll be back." This is nothing new for Junior. I've seen many of his fights, and he's never a gracious winner. His interviews are never pleasant. He has the personality of a reptile.

The fight game has always had its share of killers, but most have been hot-blooded. Duran comes to mind. What a nasty savage he was, but he at least had passion. Same with Tyson. Nigel Benn. Most with a bad reputation show signs that they can be human to at least their friends and relatives and a ring interviewer, and can congratulate a fallen foe with good sportsmanship. Probably the most memorable thing about Benn in the ring, was when he lost to Sugar Boy Malinga, and took the opportunity to take a knee...and propose to his girlfriend while his face was a dripping, bloody mask. This was 20 years ago. An irony is that 21 years ago, Benn put a vicious and permanent beating on Gerald McClellan. He didn't retire but upped his output, and the Malinga fight was considered an easy night's work and a probably KO.

Eubank Jr. seems like some SS Nazi who can put a bullet in somebody's head one minute, get a blow job from a "Joy Division" whore the next, and never change expression. As he walks away, you wouldn't be able to tell whether he'd shot his wad, or shot somebody to death.

While Amir Khan, Tyson Fury and Adrien Broner are currently the biggest pieces of shit in boxing, it's clear the "Nostril King" wants to be Number One. The other three are clowns in one way or another. Nobody is more seriously rotten than Chris Eubank Jr.

Anyone who hates Dogs and Children...has been on FARCEBOOK

All it takes is a day or two of FARCEBOOK posts from ASSHOLES who love their BRATS and DOGS, and you'll be a raving misanthrope.

You will also DEFRIEND any fuckhead who "LIKES" a post, thereby forcing YOU to see it, too.

To me, THIS is the kind of shit you should be able to red flag along with spam ads for sunglasses, and rude pix of dizzy blondes shaving their twats.

AWWW! OOOH! Coooo-weee! Coooooooooo-wee, diddums!

This jerk had to post a fucking movie file so we could see his spawn TODDLING, looking oh-so-retarded-adorable. She made a birthday card for Daddy. NOT IMPORTANT TO ME.

I somehow doubt even this moron's friends really care HOW he woke up this morning. Those who know him in the "real" world probably are sick of his brat, who spends most of her time NOT being cute at all, but a brawling, squalling pest.

Jerks who have to show you pix of their brats, or of what they're eating, or the cake that just arrived, or what they unwrapped from an Amazon package, are a MINOR nuisance compared to wimpy dickwads who INSIST on telling you what to do.

Like, GO SIGN A PETITION. GO DONATE MONEY.

Aren't we ALL sick of "sad dog" poses? I am. Go take your fucking dog over to Korea and turn it into a hot dog. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUR DOG.

It's been a while since I've written this, but I just want the world to know I have not changed my view on this at all:

I HATE DOGS. 90% OF ALL DOGS ARE JUST YAPPY SHIT MACHINES.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE DOG OWNERS. 90% ARE NEUROTIC JERKS WHO DON'T CONTROL THEIR YAPPY SHIT MACHINES AND HAPPILY LET THESE BEASTS BARK ALL DAY (IF THEY ARE OUT, OF COURSE) AND SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE (IT'S TOO MUCH EFFORT TO PICK UP AFTER THEM).

As with Muslims (uh-oh, intolerance alert), 90% LESS DOGS ON THE PLANET would be a GOOD idea. They are simply too insane, smelly, loud and obnoxious to be overpopulating.

What else.

I digress: a few months ago, Bill Maher had a lively debate with a bleeding-heart Liberal who insisted we should LOVE Muslims, and understand that "only a few" are violent.

Maher fired back that the "only a few" have killed thousands of people, terrorized the world, and are growing in number every day.

The cunt arguing with him said, "You have to accept that there are over a BILLION MUSLIMS on the planet. It's impossible not to interact with them. Most are nice. It's estimated that in Turkey, for example, only 10% or 15% support Isis."

To which Maher logically replied, "That's how many MILLION?" When you consider the damage a pair of crappy brothers did to the Boston Marathon, when you consider how easily three or four "radicalized" Muzzies can murder hundreds and do millions of dollars in physical damage to an airport or a nightclub or a building, how the FUCK can you shrug and preach brotherhood? Your answer is you can't beat 'em so try to make 'em feel at home? They don't WANT that. They want YOU to become a Muslim or DIE.

When you can't tell when the spawn of "nice" Muslims will become Jihadi John or Beheading George or Rapist Paul, it makes sense to simply say, "No thanks...we don't WANT you in our country."

Finishing up the FARCEBOOK rant...

What's with disgusting FARCEBOOK idiots who "friend" their relatives? These shits can't just pick up a phone and call 'em? E-mail 'em? They have to hold public conversations about their fucking birthdays, and where to meet for lunch, and how much they're rooting for the same stupid baseball team?

I see some friend's "friends" who have the same last name, and it makes me want to re-think my friendship. It also makes me wonder if there's incest going on.

I see the people with the same last name, and it looks like an inbred incestuous collection of autistic bedwetters.

Since many of these losers are in a fantasy of still being young, they often post a vintage photo pretending it's recent.

Is this Bill Hoobastank's son? An early photo of his brother? Maybe just a jerk with the same last name he decided to friend?

People who've told me how much "fun" and how "useful" TWATTER and FARCEBOOK are...are NUTS. About the only use is that it's a great teacher of restraint. Maturity is resisting the natural kneejerk reaction of saying, "I don't CARE about your brat" and "Don't tell ME what petition to sign or who to give my money to" or "Why don't you take a suicide pill suppository?"