Wednesday, March 30, 2016

EPIC IDLE: Slimy Towel & Seacrests Vomit-Gurgle Show is DEAD

FINALLY. "American Idol" is going to END.

If I'm being honest, I am disappointed.

Disappointed it took FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS.

It's seemed, in the 16 miserable years of the 21st Century, that we could all agree on Millennials having ADT, and that with multi-tasking and brain mutations, NOTHING lasts too long.

Dido had a hit first album and was a has-been after the second.

Every few months the cellphone is out of date. Every other day you have to download an update for something. A hot nightclub is cold in no time.

YET...abominable pieces of shit TV, like "American Idol" or "Survivor" or "Dancing with the Stars" go on much longer than anyone could imagine. I still can't believe people STILL care about the Kuntrashians. So what happened to finally flush "American Idol" down the tubes?

No, that was a rhetorical question. I'm just glad it's gone. Not that it HURTS me if it's still on, but you never know, they could have another wog jackass like Sanjaya become a media sensation for being a bad singer, or they could discover another pudgy country-rock slob, or unleash another pretentious screaming fag like the one who is now Freddie Mercury's replacement in Queen.

Once in a while, I'd tune in the show, usually early in the season, to watch the judges make fun of the absolutely ridiculous, self-absorbed off-key Shauna Cuntwell MORONS who'd audition, but that got old pretty quick.

One year, I happened to catch an "all women's" night, and figuring there might be some exciting TWAT on view (well, cleavage and a pretty face), I tuned in. That's when I discovered the buoyant, ebullient multi-octave wacko Siobhan Magnus, who amazed me for a few weeks and then was thrown off. I did support her and bought her CD. She was the exception (if you ignored the tattoos). I didn't watch because usually it was trite shit and people imitating vocalists who were imitating vocalists, and who should've been run over by bus, then a train, then another bus to make sure they were flattered, literally.

NO MORE! Just knowing that Slimy Towel can't promote another car-alarm bitch, or inflict another goofy-faced fag or some other drip on the world is enough. Knowing over-achieving metrosexual twat Ryan Scumcrest has one less place to prance is good enough (he is EVERYWHERE on American TV, even taking over New Year's Eve from the late Dick Clark).

Hopefully "The Voice" will die off, too. It seems retarded redneck twats love that show because one of the coaches is "hunk" Blake Shelton. They'd love to suck his cock all the way down and nuzzle their noses in the manure-and-hay of his pubes. They also seem titillated that he dumped his cuntry singer wife Miranda Lambsmell, and is now dating the aging slut-face Gwen Stefani, who is also a coach on the show. My my, what drama.

Bad howler-monkey shows. Is this really the only way we break new "talent?" By seeing who can imitate Mariah or Rihanna or Viley or Sam Smith the Wimp? Maybe some decent alternative will replace awful "talent" shows on TV, but Millennials have no idea what talent is, and rock is pretty much dead. Face it, the chances of hearing anyone perform a good rock song are very low these days, and one reason is the formula is worn out.

What we have is shit pop music for tweens...the One Direction, Bieber, Ariana Thimble-slit stuff. That, and predictable banal ballad baboons like Adele and the Harry Connick or Sam Smith load of the day. Otherwise it's RAP.

What's pathetic is when Rolling Stone reviews rap and raves about Kendrick Lamar or Kanye West for their "beats" and their brilliant egocentric cursing and bragging.

PS, don't think the death of "American Idol" proves the American public has tired of Slimy Towel and his arch, tarty insult games. The Queen in the too-tight little boy t-shirt hired himself to replace Howard Stern on "America's Got Talent." We'll see if that predictable idiot show suffers a rating decline, proving that Mr. Towel is a liability, and a show that's already become tiresome will only seem moreso with his reptillian grinning, coy glances, and very boring pronouncements. "America's Got Talent" dropping dead like "American Idol?" We can only hope.

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