NERVANA - Scams like Teen Spirit and as peaceful as Cobain after the bullet

Aw, how cute. They call it NERVANA.

It's because these ear buds are supposed to be hooked up so that while you listen to music, your vagus NERVE gets stimulated.

Maybe it's also because it nods to Cobain and NIRVANA and that lovely notion that a sense of peace can be yours if you do drugs or kill yourself. Or buy $300 ear buds.

As usual, the giddy media is spinning this without testing it. This report is full of hearsay:

Hmm, can't a major newspaper afford to buy a pair and let the reporter test 'em out?

Do we have to wait for Darren Lox to put the camcorder on his big fat ugly face and listen to him describe the sensations when he listens to King Crimson and stimulates his vagus nerve and his dick? And the butt plug that he set to "vibrate?"

Wow, the item is available not at Amazon but...INDIEGOGO.

Almost instantly, Amy Wagstaff-Wetone went on GoFundMe to declare: "I want to be able to orgasm while reading 'Pride and Prejudice.' Please donate so I can raise $300 for these ear buds. Your reward would be to watch me roll my eyes while I read!"

Meanwhile, in a new GooTube video, Shauna Cuntwell said, "Hey, Guyyyysss, why not go to FIVERRRRR and ask me to cover a Taylor Swift song, and then give me TEN TIMES the amount as a TIP? If just six of you do it, I'll have enough to buy these ear buds! I can't wait to squeak an orgasm after I stick them up against my sooooo smooooooth twat!"