Janice "Dick Me" Dickinson Has Cancer? She IS Cancer

Of all the reality show hags and famous-for-nothing twats on the planet, Janice Dickinson might be the worst.

She is the Ebola virus of media whores. You never know when there will be an outburst; you just know it will be ugly.

This gorgon is like Dorian Gray, she gets UGLIER as she gets OLDER. Only unlike Mr. Gray, Ms. Dickinson has not gotten wittier. Just shittier.

Christ is she gruesome. Her face shows the symptoms of a life of immorality, self-entitlement and just plain shit-twatted stinkerhood. What a hag. Or as they call her in France: Merde Haggard.

Look upon this, and despair.

If you're not familiar with the trampy smelly party girl bitch that is Janice Dickinson, well, neither was I for a blessedly long time.

In America in the late 60's and 70's, when Hollywood slut-lets were as plentiful as sweat droplets on Elvis, she was well behind the anchovy pack. Among the better known open sores on the market was Edy Williams, who used to be squired around town by rheumy-eyed ex-Lothario George Jessel, a vaudeville hack who spent most of his life whining that he turned down "The Jazz Singer" and it helped Jolson become a star.

Edy was at least, in her prime, good looking, with a Raquel Welch-type figure. The craven cunt even pushed her way into film work, most notably as the ludicrous vamp ("I'd LOVE to STRAP YOU ON!") in the awful "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls." Her big deal was doing wardrobe malfunctions before they were popular. At any event, Edy might fall out of her gown. Too bad back then you only heard about it, because there was no Internet to show the pictures.

If Janice Dickinher was a popular party girl, fine. Suck cock, charge money if you can, and eventually marry a film executive who doesn't mind being a laughing stock. She became famous, and loathsome, when she screamed and hollered about being made into a sex object by beloved quiz show host Bob Barker. Bob, famously married to his high school sweetie, hosted the stupid game show "The Price is Right." It attracted male viewers by featuring "Barker's Beauties," bimbos who would stand next to dishwashers and lawnmowers and point with orgasmic delight.

Yeah, that was the best Janice No-Talent could manage, and she was such a grinding, ambitious, disgusting witch, she went ballistic in order to get headlines and further herself before her boobs drooped any closer to her fish-pouch.

Put it this way, she was rapidly becoming more hated than Erin "Abusing Groucho" Fleming.

Eventually her lawsuit over being an abused quiz show model beauty failed. Her next grab at easy fame was when Cosby complainants began to gather. Oh, she blew Cosby, or whatever, at a Playboy party or something? Watta surprise (not). While other women may have had reason to be upset with Cosby's fuck 'em and forget 'em attitude, or his habit of handing out pills (at a time when this was pretty common in bars and at Hollywood parties), Janice was no "innocent" party. Especially not after her Bob Barker lawsuit.

She did her best to get on "Entertainment Tonight"-type news shows, to sob and cry about being treated badly by Cosby. This is like a whore handing a $100 bill to the teller, discovering it's counterfeit, and crying "I've been raped."

Loving the spotlight, like a slimy piece of Fried Chicken under the heat lamp at Denny's, this old, old chick always finds some way of calling attention to herself. Now that she's used up the Cosby card, she's come up with "Oooh, I have CANCER!" Yeah, a tiny lump that is nothing.

Why anyone even cares is almost beyond me, but it does seem that ugly fat Adele-loving housewives have more than enough "nice" comments and sympathy for any "celebrity." They have none for their husbands or family, whom they ignore in favor of Keeping up with the Kardashians and moping about every moron the Daily Fail sticks in front of them.

Turning a tiny pea-sized lump in her ugly droopy chest into a major disaster, she went bawling to the Daily Fail who rewarded her with full coverage, as long as she could sob for the camera.

Yes, all Janice had to do was turn on the crocodile tears (as she did in recounting how Cosby had sex with her and never did get her a guest spot on his TV show), and dozens of idiot readers were ready to cry "Poor Janice" and "Be Brave."

Who the fuck cares if this ugly old bitch has a small lump? Go tell it to a dignified sexy woman like Angelina Jolie. Tell it to Tom Hanks' wife Rita Wilson. They had much worse and didn't need to go bleating to the fucking Daily Fail and booking a reality show.

I've quote Mr. Gebler quite a few times: "It isn't just homosexuals who don't like women. Nobody likes them."

It's not exactly fair (why, there are plenty of likable women, just as there are plenty of non-violent followers of Islam). But in the case of a grasping, conniving, evil bitch like Janice Dickinson, who did nothing but give head to get ahead, and use her clam-trap to ensnare those she would then call worms (ones who didn't pay her enough or do her enough favors), then yes. If this is womanhood, no wonder there are misogynists.

Janice Cancerous Dickinson. OK. I'll quote a song line from Jakob Dylan: "I wish you health, but absolutely nothing else."

So I hope you get over cancer, and get hit by a bus. And then a train. And then another bus.