Thursday, March 24, 2016

Ringo Starr gets cameo in new Harrison Ford re-make

Winning a cameo in Indiana Jones #5, Ringo Starr (77) will join the almost-as-old Harrison Ford in trying to amuse Baby Boomers and idiots of all ages.

He plays a magical mystery aura that glows in the dark and demands a shrubbery before leading Arthur to the Holy Grail.

"This is another comeback for the Monty Python bunch, isn't it?" Ringo asked. When told on the set that it was an Indiana Jones sequel, he did his patented shrug, lip curl and eyebrow-raise, and waved his fingers, saying "Peace and Love."

Somehow, just when you think he's retired, Ringo puts out a book, goes on tour with his "No Stars," or wanders onto an awards show. Somebody always calls up with some kind of offer, and as long as it involves lots of money he really doesn't even need, off he goes.

"What can I say? They're gonna put me in the movies," quipped Ringo. The lovable Beatle hasn't seemed to aged at all in the past 40 years. Asked for his secret, he said, "No autographs. I've stopped doing that. No autographs, no secrets, no nothing. Peace and love, everyone!"

Asked if he was too old for another Indiana Jones movie, Harrison Ford said, "If I thought I was going to make a fool of myself, I would've changed my name to McCartney."

Nothing's more fun than escapist movies with silly, predictable scenes. Predictably, Indiana Jones enters the Temple of Zombies, and is astonished to see a yellow submarine. He rubs it, and out comes Ringo, to explain that while the pyramids of Egypt are fine, "my heart remains in Liverpool. My mum lived there. My friends lived there. We was fab there. Not that I'd want to live there anymore!"

Negotiations took a long time, but finally, it was agreed that Ringo would NOT sing on the soundtrack.

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