Writes Bill:
"I congratulate Van Morrison on becoming Surly!
"I always knew he was Surly, but I didn't know the British actually made it a title. Now he's officially Surly Van Morrison!
"I was so glad to get a photo with him. At the time, I didn't know who he was, except he was a celebrity. I thought he was Ronnie Corbett. He's short!
"I said, "Glad to get a photo with you, and at no charge, Mr. Corbett." And he said, "You don't have to introduce yourself, Mr. Corbett. Let me hate you incognito. Get away from me! Who said you could take my picture?" Did I mention he was also drunk?
"Later I listened to some of his music. What woeful yowling. Whether it's a love song or a happy song, it still comes out like a belly ache. "Brown Eyed Girl" could just as well be "Corn Holed Ass." He's like a goose howling at the moon. Speaking of the moon, "Moondance" sounds pixie-faggy, like he's prancing around bending over, asking for some anal sex. What a gay elf! It's so nice people remember a guy who hasn't had a hit song in 40 years.
"Oop, sorry. My own attempt with a music group failed. ANYBODY who is in show business is a GOD to me. He wrote or sang two solo songs people know. He also did that "GLORIA" thing with some band or other. People pay to go see him! I admire a guy who won't give the public what they want, and will walk off stage in contempt, and who figures he's better than everyone else, especially paying customers. Now he's Surly Van Morrison, British royalty!
"Speaking of royalty, I only wish I was there when Prince Charles arrived with his horse Camilla Cameltoe. He figures the British public should look up to an old fat prick. This, coming from him, an old thin prick.
"Oh, what a proud day for Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Everyone join the CARAVAN. You know what a CARAVAN is. It's a slow moving trail of dumb fat-lipped crooked-backed Arab animals that leave behind a lot of dung."
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