Harry Enfield Urges Killing of Jamie Foxx

"Foxx Hunting! It's the British way!"

So screamed Harry Enfield at the airport, urging people to shoot Jamie Foxx. "Kill him! It will be FUN!" he cried. He had escaped the mental ward at Maudsley Hospital, still wearing his straitjacket.

Jamie Foxx, already under great stress in having to promote his latest album on Graham Norton's show, tried to ignore Enfield. "Bad enough I'll be interviewed by a fruitcake, I don't need this nutjob!"

Foxx eased into a limo while police wrestled Enfield to the ground. "Foxx hunting," the disturbed entertainer shouted, "Is a British tradition! We Tories believe in killing toffee-faced people. They are inferior. They were put on the planet for our amusement. Nothing is more fun than killing inferior beings!"

Under sedation thanks to watching several hours of Iain Duncan-Smith speeches, Enfield slept for several days. However, he awoke screaming, "Nightmare! I dreamed the Labour Party won, and not Cameron!"

Assured that Tory rule continues, he once again raved about his favorite hobby: "Killing! I love to see blood. I love the cry of pain, and the sight of a body gutted by hounds or shot by can't-miss rifles!"

When asked for comment, Boris Johnson said, "If Foxx hunting isn't declared legal during the reign of Der Kommisar...er, the Prime Minister Cameron, I'll certainly push it through when I succeed him! My hair might be thinning by then, and I'd love a Foxx pelt for my head. Anything to call attention to how zany and colorful I am."

Enfield, claiming to be in the fun-loving tradition of such entertainers as Gary Glitter, Jimmy Savile and Rolf Harris, said: "Don't ruin my fun. I don't belong in the Looney Bin. It's not as if I believe everything published in the London Daily Mail. I simply believe hunting Foxx is a great idea. It goes back to when we dominated that black-faced crew in India, and owned chunks of Africa. We are the Royal White People, Tory through and through. Superior in every way."

Enfield began to sing: "Ten little nigger boys went out to dine; I shot his little self and then there were Nine. Nine little nigger boys..."

His merry voice echoed down the halls and bounced off the walls of his rubber room.

Prime Minister Cameron has assured the public his highest priority will be getting Enfield out of the madhouse. He will give him a high-ranking government position, such as Secretary of State for the Environment. Cameron is eager to see fracking, Foxx hunting, and to appease the increasing Muslim population, a relaxed attitude toward the occasional beheading of white soldiers.

Enfield was heard preparing his acceptance speech: "Thank you, Mr. Cameron! Thus begins a new era for the privileged! Down with the opposition, those soppy sorts who would deny us our fun! I want to kill Jamie Foxx! What should I do, settle for Lenny Henry?"