Note to Shauna - There are Sluts Ahead Of You

My blogger friend with the eye for up-and-coming singers, also knows up-and-chucking idiots when he hears 'em.

This includes a little puppy named Shauna, who has OODLES of cover versions of dopey-chick songs on GooTube.

SHAUNA?? Isn't the most famous Shauna a porn actress who blew hundreds of guys and then blew her brains out?

THIS Shauna does the familiar "staring at the camera instead of looking up" narcissism selfie. Like, "I'm too busy admiring my wonderful SELF to make eye-contact with YOU."

But gosh, in this little blonde bitch world, where any tart can get attention walking down the street, she ONLY got about 300 hits for her generic shit on GooTube? Awwwwwwwwww. Stick to street walking, Shauna.

In the old days, chicks would turn up on school talent night, do their stupid number on guitar, and GO AWAY, and with luck, nobody had a camcorder. They wouldn't be humiliated in five or ten years with: "Hey, let me show you how you looked singing that original song..."

NOW, idiot chicks are embarrassing themselves on FARCEBOOK, TWATTER and GOOTUBE and can't take it back. They don't even know how much damage they're doing to themselves, or how this junk will come back to haunt them.

SHAUNA and the rest are also risking not even having a future. They're setting themselves up for scams, opening their legs for identity theft, and risking a variety of predators waiting to pounce on somebody stupid enough to think their pathetic GooTube material would attract a legit producer.

Hopefully at worst, SHAUNA and her literally thousands of pathetic look-alikes and sound-alikes will be able to close out their accounts in a few years and remove the damaging evidence, and not become prey to scammers.

So...

NOTE TO SHAUNA, if this is what you do instead of getting wasted on a Friday night and collecting STD's, fine. But if you think it's going to ACTUALLY get you anywhere, THERE ARE SLUTS AHEAD OF YOU...girls who are acting more like Viley and Ariana and the others. Taylor Swift, dear, is the exception. SLUTS RULE!

The competition is writing dirty songs, and showing overt porn-star moves.

Like THIS bint.

Naomi has written a variety of songs in which she calls herself a slut. Yes, THAT is what's wanted. It's right in the Viley Virus, Madonna, Li'l Kim ballpark. That SHE isn't a big star already is only down to the fact that there are also SLUTS AHEAD OF HER, too.

Naomi prefaces her recording by smugly declaring that this is her THIRTEENTH ALBUM (she pops them out like tampons on a bad few days of the month). Individual songs are fifty cents, whole albums are seven bucks. She's cheap.

She's got a bolt through her tongue, which is probably generating new strains of med-resistant chlamydia. She's sporting the "I'm obviously not a real blonde, I'm just tacky with no hygiene" look. Her lyrics? Oh, lovely stuff:

"Fuck Buddies! Ride me like a stallion
Don't worry, I'll leave in the mornin'
It's easy…I'm wet and horny…
Deep inside of me! Don't ease up or make it last or I'll find another
Fuck Buddy who'll ride me like a stallion...

The 21st Century Merrilee Rush, huh? Just call her "Devil of the Morning."

Oh, don't confuse her with another Ms. King of that name, who is an American Unitarian Universalist minister and daughter of the extremely big and ugly author Stephen.

This girl is quite a convincing pretender. She sounds like if you went to one of her concerts, you'd be going home with her, or you'd be in line for the gangbang in her dressing room. Only you don't have a chance. You're just supposed to buy her shit and inhale with a sigh.

You're supposed to hope that one day she'll appear at a strip club where she'll sign photos or knickers, right next to a low-budget Scream Queen, a few rapper chicks, and that college girl with the scarred-up thighs who made headlines for being "liberated" and doing Internet porn.

The reality is that even if you are a bird "in the wilderness" like Shauna, acting like Mary Hopkin, there's no guarantee somebody will come along to give you a contract. And even if you're a tart, the bake shop is full of 'em, all baked on drugs and trying to out-twerk each other. The bargain bins, even in the 80's, were strewn with bargain bints who wore slutty make-up, sang suggestive songs ("Tight Fit") and simply got derisive laughter.

Singing lame songs OR dirty songs on YouTube for 300 or 30,000 idiots. Ha ha ho ho hee hee. Derisive laughter!