9/11 is now Wacko Jacko Fun Time, Har Har

The World Trade Center destruction on 9/11? Boring! Let's liven it up, guyyysss.

First off, if you're on FARCEBOOK and have friended more than a few hundred people, you know that it didn't happen. There never WAS a World Trade Center.

OR

It happened but Muslims are innocent. It was a CONSPIRACY. See, the planes hitting the tower (with halal food cart guys duped by mind control into taking over the planes) were just a diversion. To make sure the Towers crumbled, white CIA men in black suits infiltrated the building and powerful explosions were set off in the core of EACH building. We ALL know those buildings couldn't POSSIBLY have collapsed JUST because each got hit with a GIGANTIC PLANE LOADED WITH FUEL.

But...at this point? Who the fuck cares! Most Millennials weren't even old enough to enjoy their first video games or porn yet. 9/11 is for fat Dutch Douchebags to sob over and use as an excuse for giving away every Beach Boys album. It's for xenophobic outcries against letting Hummus-complexioned people flying anywhere in America. And it's a great, jokey way of having some FUN. Like...

"Gosh, Gee, what did Liz Taylor, Marlon Brando and Wacko Jacko do in 9/11 that day??"

I had to look TWICE at the photo above. I forget that in the 21st Century, Photoshop gags and "composite" photos are perfectly acceptable in NEWSPAPERS. Make sure most gullible idiots actually think the photo's real.

Just print "composite" or "Photoshop" in very small type underneath. Har har.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I've never heard this "urban legend" about obese has-been Marlon Brando and the ever neurotic Elizabeth (she hated being called Liz) Taylor fleeing the city with the King and Queen of Pop, Jacko-Twato.

At the time, NYC residents, and most Americans, only were concerned with a) if these attacks were ongoing, and b) how many people were dead or missing.

NOBODY was keeping tabs on celebrities, even NYC superstars who lived within walking distance of the towers. Nobody was interested in hearing what Robert DeNiro or Alec Baldwin had to say. The only "celebrity" who had a photo in the paper was Mayor Guiliani, dust and debris on him as he shouted orders and took control of the city, seemingly almost single-handed.

Now it turns out Wacko Jacko had given a concert the night before, and among the desperate celebrities pretending to like his shitty brand of pop, were Brando and Wacko's legit pal Taylor. Taylor, a fag-hag, had become very friendly with Wacko as the two exchanged hugs over being child-performers and huge superstars and now neurotic pill-addicted adults.

Aha. (No no, not that stupid rock group. PS, we're also ignoring today's death of "the original lead singer of Jefferson Airplane" who was replaced by Grace Slick).

So now we know what that stupid Michael Jackson (played by a white guy) movie is all about.

It's some kind of cheeky satire. A campy piece of shit.

People screaming that a white guy CAN'T play Jacko, should've asked what the fuck the film was about first. In something this stupid, it would've been embarrassing if a black guy DID play him.

So relax, Niggas, go post a "Black Lives Matter" MEME on Farcebook and take a break from Tweeting about this "racist outrage" on Twatter.

The rest of the story?

Obese Brando stayed where he was, joking (or not) that he was going to wait for the end of the world and not try to escape.

Due to the chaos of the moment, bridges and tunnels were either shut or carefully monitored. After two days in town, according to the Post article, Wacko, two of his brats and the rest of his entourage took a tour bus through the Lincoln Tunnel to a New Jersey hotel. The plan may have been to take a plane out of Newark Airport, but, "Jackson stayed in the New York City area until late December, when he ­finally returned to Los ­Angeles."

The author of the Post piece (who presents himself as a true insider) also wrote that Jacko was deeply concerned with international fans stranded in town. The Great Humanitarian Wacko "wound up footing the bill for nearly three dozen fans to stay in New Jersey. He even treated them to fast food and movie outings."

And why didn't any of the fans report this? "No," Wacko's quoted as saying, "The people in those buildings, the paramedics, firefighters, the police, the mayor. They should be in the newspapers.”

There you have it. More spin doctoring. More games. More trivialization of misery.

An idiot movie will be flogging three dead "superstars" that Millennials don't consider in the same league as Kate Winslet, Brad Pitt or Inzane Malik.

Most people under 30 have never seen a Brando or Taylor movie, and consider Wacko to be nothing compared to Viley Virus. Tell 'em Brando made "The Godfather" about the Mafia and they'll say, "What's the Mafia? They sure ain't Isis!"

The idea is that Millennials will want to see this movie t to find out who these celebrities were, and what this "9/11 thang" was all about??

9/11 is now the backdrop for a cheap, silly, sensationalist and apparently "satiric" movie about 3 superstars on a hilarious road trip across country (which would be a plot line stolen from the three drag queens driving to California in "To Wong Foo" as well as those old Hope, Crosby and Lamour deals).

Har har, The World Trade Center. Woo hoo, garish and cartoony celebrities from the past. What next? Maybe a new movie for the Chink and Wog from "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle." They'll be in: "Harold & Kumar Go to Roosevelt Hospital The Night Lennon Was Shot." Har har.

See, they accidentally get into the ambulance thinking it's a taxi. They ride with Lennon's body to Roosevelt Hospital. Now mistaken for doctors, they make a mess out of John's intestines. Then they hilariously try to keep Yoko from screaming by shoving their dicks in her mouth. She ends up liking it, and uses chopsticks so she can suck one and then the other.

As directed by Spike Lee, John and Yoko will be played by Will Smith and his wife Jada. Mark David Chapman will be played for laughs by the always hilarious Jonah Hill. And in cameo roles, seen rushing into recording studios to each come up with a hit song tribute on John, will be Paul Simon (played by Peter Dinklage), George Harrison (played by Jeff Lynne) and Elton John (played by James Corden).