David Cameron: "We'll give you Muslims EVERYTHING. You smell TERRIFIC, too!"

David Cameron has vowed to eat nothing but stinky halal meat covered in hummus.

David Cameron has vowed to make the full month of Ramadan a bank holiday (for Muslims, who will get paid for their time off).

David Cameron has vowed that the Queen will wear a burka and Kate's children will study the Quron and become fluent in all Arab languages.

David...what? You don't think so? Oh, come now. It's coming.

David, after all, has announced that his deep, deep concern with Islamic terrorism is that British Muslims aren't being treated fairly enough.

Good Lord, they emigrate to the UK, they expect mosques, Muslim food in the schools, no-go zones inn British neighborhoods, and they STILL fly back to Syria and join ISIS. Tsk tsk. Obviously the UK is NOT DOING ENOUGH for these wonderful, wonderful kind-hearted and lovable people and their fine, fine religion.

The pussy who looks like Piers has not only stated a new policy about bending over backwards for Muslims, he even TWEETED.

Jesus Christ, when the Prime Minister TWEETS, that's a bold, bold statement!

Cameron has vowed to go on "Britain's Got Talent" next year and sing new lyrics to the "West Side Story" classic, "There's a Place For Us."

It'll be "There's a Place for Muzz."

"Hold my hand and I'll take you there...have no care...Brits are fair...Love you! Need you! You've got the way of BELIEVING. Please don't tell me that you're leaving. STAY HERE...There's a PLACE FOR MUZZ, we'll kick out some of us...we'll make room it'll be so fair. Kick out Blair. We don't care..."

Yes, I'm sure that'll be next. Go through the rolls, and kick out Blair fans, Labor Party members, any White Christians on the dole...

Look, this story appeared in USA TODAY, so it's BIG news around the world.

CAMERON is sending a stern message: "We need to do more for Muslims. They have every reason to decapitate policemen in the street. Hell, let's put them on the police force! Let's give them positions of power in every vital section of our country. Muslims should run the railway system, the police force and the fire department, too!"

"Increasing employment opportunities for young minorities" makes a lot more sense than saying, "STAY OUT OF ENGLAND." After all, why would you want ENGLAND to be a tourist mecca with Bobbies on bicycles two by two? Better it should be a REAL Mecca, with everyone walking around in burkas and sheets, wearing nose rings, and babbling in hyena-languages and growling."

FREE HUMMUS! COME TO ENGLAND! WE LOVE YOU MUZZIES! So says DAVID AL-CAMERON!