Monday, July 27, 2015

Tweet Tweet for useless Bobbi Kristina Brown

Once again, America stops dead for a useless D-list "celebrity." Will the flags fly at half mast? They did in New Jersey for car alarm Whitney Houston. Now about her useless daughter, who finally died after six months in a coma?

Before these TRAGEDIES, Whitney and her filthy husband Bobby Brown were the subject of ridicule. "Saturday Night Live" had several sketches with Maya Rudolph as Whitney, raving about her love for "BOBBYBROWN," aka "BOB AYY BRAHHHHHN." (The fake Whitney would either babble the name quickly in excitement, or moan it long like an agonized mantra).

AWW, but once the has-been singer was found dead in a bathtub, she joined Presley, Jacko, James Dean, and the rest in that pantheon of awesome excess. Don't talk ill of the dead! SHE was a GENIUS! We will NEVER see the like of her AGAIN! (Good).

Her idiot daughter? Before SHE was found in a bathtub (and don't idiots LOVE the way one death echoed the other), she was just an ugly, gap-toothed nobody who was in the tabloids for hanging around with shitty guys even more retarded and disgusting than her father Bobby. People were expecting her to sing like Whitney? Too bad. No. She had neither looks nor talent, because she inherited from BOBBY more than WHITNEY.

In the old days, a D-list death was minor news for a minute. Now that America is practically a bi-racial country, with a huge Black/Latino population (and there's been a huge increase in STUPID people of all races), the media has to play up a "tragedy" like Bobbi Kristina Brown's death (we MUST use her FULL NAME) to the point of absurdity. The hysteria of mourning is what it is.

And what do we do to express grief? TWEET.

America's Earth Mother, the Queen of Daytime for so many years, Oprah Winfrey, said it best, and stupidest:

Don't knock yourself writing a lot of words, OPIE.

What the FUCK does that even mean? The trashy little tart was at "peace" for six months, in a coma. Or did OPIE mean that SHE, OPIE, was getting "Peace at Last" because she no longer had to hear the endless, boring "updates" on the girl's condition?

OPIE really thinks that peace=death?

IF I'M BEING HONEST, people are stupid, lazy and witless. It's proven when anyone dies. Whether it's a jerk in a forum, or a D-lister, the "social media" response is the same: the bare minimum. It's "CONDOLENCES TO THE FAMILY" and "R.I.P." and "SO SAD" and other cliches.

Come on, primates, show how clueless and stupid you are. Also show, in some cases, your "duty" to PRETEND to care about this bitch. (Dr. Phil, host of a gossipy pop-psychology idiot show, couldn't very well ignore somebody that his trailer trash viewers care so fucking much about).

Wow. Heartwarming, huh? Pithy, right? Sincere, too?

A lot of hogwash over a chunk of now-rancid pork.

Too fuckin' bad that a rich girl had to take drugs. Nobody else in the world has problems? Of course not. Idiots choose "Celebrities" to worry about, cry about, and talk about constantly. People are lighting candles for this bitch, candles they didn't bother to light for an uncle, aunt, grandma, teacher, preacher or anyone else they might know.

Twiddly deet, TWEET TWEET...rockin' rotten...Bobbi is with the angels now, Bobbi is at peace now, Bobbi is in our hearts.

No, Bobbi is in a body bag, or in a box, and will soon either be six feet under, or a few ashy molecules in the wind. And I-eeeee-I-eeeee-I-eeeee-I-eeeeee-I will always love you----eeee-ooooo-eeeee-ooooo-eeee-oooo eee-i-eee-i ohhhhhhhhh.

YO, here's BOBBY BROWN, who was ALMOST so distraught he wasn't gonna hang with his homeys at a fast food joint and have his burgers or his chicken or his fries. His FRIIIIIEEEEEEES, man.

Brown was married to one of the richest women in the world. But at heart, he's a fast food nigga, yo. Hangin' with the other niggas and not puttin' on no airs, ay know? Admire him for that. Props, man.

Courage, too. While celebrities are Tweeting R.I.P., he be bravely eatin' his fast food on some street corner. God bless.

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